Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Sex on the very night of the marriage or before Walimah?

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I want to know whether it is compulsory to have intercourse on the night of marriage or before Walimah?

I heard that if there is no intercourse between the couple before Walimah, the food of Walimah is haram for people to eat!!

Please answer my question as my marriage is near.

- ara


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9 Responses »

  1. Salaam Ara,

    According to the majority of scholars who have written about the marriage process agree that the consummation of the marriage comes before the Walima because the Prophet (pbuh) did not do the Walimah in his marriage to any of his wives until after the consummation .

    Having said that, an action deemed as haram is an action that is forbidden by Allah, and to my knowledge, a wedding feast that is offered before the consummation of marriage is not haram.

    Although having the Walima after consummation is more in line with the Sunna of the Prophet (pbuh), it is not an obligation upon you and it is not haram for your guests to eat food that is served at your Walima if it happens before the consummation of the marriage.

    If all the conditions of a valid marriage contract have been met, there is no sin if in regards to whether you consummate before or after the walima.

    Peace,

    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

  2. AssalamuAaikum.w.w
    Hai... My nameis Rismi. and my marriage is getting near. still i cant make sure that i could make prophet's that sunnah on the day of my mrrge or not. becouse of some personal problems its still in pending. but date of my marrge is conform (insha allah) and wanted to know that without both we engaging in sex cant we give WALIMA...?
    plz make me clear in this feild..

    • rismi, there's no requirement that sex take place on the wedding night, or even before the walimah. Of course you don't want to delay too long, but it's okay to take time to become comfortable with each other. However, if you have some physical problem that you think will prevent you from having sex, then you should think twice about getting married, or at least tell your groom-to-be and let him decide if he wants to proceed. If you need more advice, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Walima is an open message to the community celebrating the nikah and that that this couple is Islamically husband and wife. It has nothing to do with the act of sex after nikah.

  4. ASSALAMALIKUM
    SORRY TO SAY THAT WE CANNOT TELL THAT IT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH VALIMA BECASUE ISLAM IS OUR BASE OF LIFE AND THE EXAMPLE IS PROPHET SALALAHUALAIHIWASALAM AND WE HERE DECLARE THINGS ON ISLAM AS IF IT IS OUR ANCESTRAL PROPERTY -SORRY AGAIN THE MAIN REASON IS WE HAVE TO FOLLOW ISLAM AS GIVEN TO US NOT DECLARE OUR OWN WHIMS AND FANCIES LIKE-Walima is an open message to the community celebrating the nikah and that that this couple is Islamically husband and wife. It has nothing to do with the act of sex after nikah.
    WHAT IS AN INNOVATION -
    "He who innovates something in Islam while deeming it to be a good innovation has claimed that Muhammad has betrayed his trust to deliver the message"
    And what is the Daleel (evidence) for this?
    أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِى وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الأِسْلاَمَ دِينا
    This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.(Al-Ma'idah: 3)
    Innovation in Islaam is the invention, creation or addition of any religious matter which was not (originally) found in Islaam. Therefore, Islaam warns against it and invalidates any religious deed which does not originate from the Qur'aan and the Sunnah. Prophet Mohammad, salla Allaahu 'alaihe wasallam, says in this respect:
    "He who innovates something that is not in agreement with our matter (religion), will have it rejected." [Al-Bukharee and Muslim] This is because innovation in religion is an opposition to Islaam; it implies that our religion is incomplete and imperfect with regards to the matters of worship. Shaikh Ibn 'Uthaimeen says: " Innovation entails the adoption of dangerous ways":

    1. It entails the refutation of Allaah's words; "this day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you and have chosen for you Islaam as your religion." Therefore, any innovation introduced into the religion implies that Islaam is imperfect and incomplete.
    2. It necessitates the slandering of the Sharee'ah (Islamic Law); that is, it was incomplete and the innovator has therefore completed it.
    3. It requires the slander of Muslims who are not innovators, since by implication whoever came before these innovations, their religion is incomplete; and this is dangerous.
    4. Most people who were preoccupied with innovation, neglected the Sunnah. The Salaf (our predecessor Muslims) who were adherents to Islaam, said: "Whenever a people introduce a Bid'ah (an innovation), they destroyed its counterpart in the Sunnah."
    5. These innovations also, bring about division among Muslims because the innovators believe that they are the ones who carry the truth and that those who do not follow them are mislead.
    TO DO MAINTAIN THE LAVISH MARRIAGE NOW DAYS THIS TREND HAS STARTED THAT SAME DAY VALIMA IS THE NEW INNOVATION AND MANY EVEN SHARE THE EXPENCES IN GROOM AND BRIDES FAMILY
    SAHABIS VALIMA FROM HADEES- Anas bin Malik (radi Allahu anhu) reported that Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) saw the trace of yellowness on Abdur-Rehman bin Auf (radi Allahu anhu) and asked: “What is this?” Thereupon, he said: “Rasul Allah, I have married a woman for a datestone weight of gold.” He responded: “May Allah bless you! Hold a wedding feast, even if only with a sheep.” [Sahih Muslim]
    After a simple Nikah IN MOSQUE , the only celebration in an Islamic wedding is that of a Valima. The Valima is a meal hosted by the groom.
    ABDULR -REHMAN BIN AUF [RA]WAS THE RICHEST BUSINESS MAN-HIS TRADE-CAMEL STARTS FROM MADINA IT ENDED IN MAKKA INSPITE OF BEING SO RICH SEE HIS VALIMA WAS DONE ON ADVICE OF NABI SALALHUALAI WASALAM WITH A SHEEP...
    NOW A DAYS DUE TO LAVISH MARRIAGES SO MANY NIKAH'S ARE DELAYED AND CANCELLED
    SOLUTION:-THE MALES CAN DO NIKAH IN MOSQUE AND PERFORM THIS ONE SHEEP DAWAT AT HOME FOR RELATIVES AND NEIGHBOURS AND START A NEW LIFE OTHER FRIENDS AND BUSINESS CIRCLE PEOPLE INVITED NEXT DAY IN A SMALL BANQUET HALL FOR 50 TO 100 PEOPLE ...THIS WILL SEPERATE THE NIKAH AND VALIMA FROM LARGE GATHERINGS WHICH BECOME A CURSE FOR GIRL PARENTS....AND SET A WRONG TREND LIKE THE LAVISH MARRIAGES OF THE KUFFAR......

  5. Well said bother… “Amanna Sadaqna”

  6. salaam

    this is asad here
    my question is that ,

    valima is haraam without intercourse.is it compulsory to do intercorse wedding night or next night but before valima other vise valima and food is going to be haraam.

    reply me a/c to islamic point of veiw

    • You can have intercourse whenever the couple likes, as long as they are married. The timing of sex does not dictate whether the food or Walima is haraam. The only food that is haraam is pork. Having sex after the Walima does not make the food haraam.

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