Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She left me but I still need her

broken heart

Salams,

I had loved a girl for 6 years, ever since 2008 I had been knowing her. We use to talk over the phone initially. I got the opportunity to leave to Malaysia for my higher studies and she was ok with it. In 2011 I left to Malaysia and she was in Sri Lanka which was our motherland... and apparently she also migrated to US with her whole family and our far relationship went even further...we never had met even once but our relationship went from normal to strong day by day. We skyped almost everyday. Talk via viber and alao chat through fb.

The problem is she hasn't told about our love to her parents whereas I have told my parents and they agreed too. She was nervous and told me she would tell when the right time comes... so I too completed my studies and returned back to my country and whereas she is still in US. The problem began few weeks back whereby she told me that her parents are finding for a guy for her to get married... I told her to tell her parents about our love. but as she was so nervous and also her parents are against love. So after 6 years she messaged me and told me few weeks back to stop everything and she is pretty sure that her parents wouldnt agree to this relationship and wanted me to leave her. Which I denied and refused. I loved her so truly and crazy,...in fact we hardly had fights or argument's even though it was a far relationship. she finally thought of sacrificing her love for her parents. I couldnt bear with it and I called up her father and I informed her father that I have been loving his daughter for the past 6 years and she rejected me coz she is scared of saying it to u. After I told this things became bad to worst. Her father started beating her up and took her mobile and other ways of communication out of her reach.

The sad part is during this 6 years as we loved so truly. she use to skype with me and she had even shown her body naked to me and vice versa... she didnt hesitate because we loved each other and we really thought we will get married. Neither I hesitated... she use to satisfy my sex feeling everytime by showing her body for me to masturbate...

But since her parents dont agree I'm really worried about this. coz I dont want her to marry someone after she had shown her body to me... is it right for her to get married because of her parents to someone after doing this??? What should I do??? I know what we had done is totally wrong and against islam and I regret about it... I repent about this everyday seeking forgiveness from allah. but I need her. I cant imagine she getting married to someone after I seeing her body...what do I do???

abdulzats


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5 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,

    The fact that both of you waited and then told her father which resulted in her being beat by her father really complicates matter. You really should have involved someone else and much earlier--it sounds like her parents do not want to pay much heed to her opinion and most likely have no respect for you because of things that you disclosed to them. At this point, it isn't about her marrying someone else and if that is right, this has turned into a nightmare for her. Just to put this in perspective, you are worried about her marrying someone else, and she is probably being beat by her father....I hope you have learnt your lesson as to how to do things Islamically in the future.

    It is very difficult to advise you about what to do--or at least I don't know what to say.

  2. I agree with Saba. I hope you have learned your lesson in all this. Hopefully you did not tell her father about the naked skyping.

    You may want to ask your parents to go to the USA and ask for her hand in marriage.

    If they are not prepared to do that, then let it go. As Saba said, this is a nightmare for the girl.

  3. please contact his parents through your parents the elders can talk and solve the matter.

  4. Forget everything and her..and repent and find a good girl and get married in an islamic way...and do istekhara about getting married to her ...annd if it doesnt work ...forget her and everything

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