Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should he marry her or find another?

PractisingMuslim

Salam Brothers/Sisters

Bismillah.

I am in need of advice. My friend is about to make the decision of getting married with a woman that he met through a mutual friend of ours. They have known each other for about a year now and he thinks she may make a great wife. However a few months ago he found out that the girl has slept with the mutual friend about twice. Has confronted her and she swears that she is still a virgin. He is deeply disappointed and distraught. If there is any advice to give him please share. And would it be best for him to just forget her and find another? But he seems to love her dearly. Please advise

Ibnu

 


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4 Responses »

  1. ask him to move on, if the guy is virgin himself then he will keep bringing up the girls past in each fight/disagreement.

    and if they have children...that will complicate things.

    he is better off with out her and she is as well.

  2. A true muslim has taqwa .Nothing matters in this worldly life .. Regardless who ever comes into this believers life he knows that he has fulfilled a sunnah and it his job to maintain her cloth her feed her and love her.He must not worry and think and investigating ones past .we look forward and move into the right direction...SHAITAN puts things in people's head causing them to argue amongst each otherand fight causing some form of hurt....mentally or physically and this is not good....So my advice is grow up ...If she wants to get married then you decide other then that by questioning her will only make this relation get worse..

  3. Does he have proof that she's not a virgin? He can divorce after marriage if she isn't and it's a big deal to him. But he should make sure that she isn't. Here's what the Quran says:

    Muhsin Khan
    And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, they indeed are the Fasiqun (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah).
    Pickthall
    And those who accuse honourable women but bring not four witnesses, scourge them (with) eighty stripes and never (afterward) accept their testimony - They indeed are evil-doers -

    And to show you exactly how serious this discussion and what he's doing is:

    Muhsin Khan
    24:12
    Why then, did not the believers, men and women, when you heard it (the slander) think good of their own people and say: "This (charge) is an obvious lie?"
    24:13
    Why did they not produce four witnesses? Since they (the slanderers) have not produced witnesses! Then with Allah they are the liars.
    24:14
    Had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy unto you in this world and in the Hereafter, a great torment would have touched you for that whereof you had spoken.
    24:15
    When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great.
    24:16
    And why did you not, when you heard it, say? "It is not right for us to speak of this. Glory be to You (O Allah) this is a great lie."
    24:17
    Allah forbids you from it and warns you not to repeat the like of it forever, if you are believers.

  4. What the girl did in the past is NOT important. What she is doing now and what she will do in the future is very important. It is very common among girls to lie about her past history. Moreover, searching for the past history of a potential bride is discouraged in Islam. If the man believes, the girl can value his love to her , she will be loyal in the future and will keep the family on Islamic path. - He can happily marry her.

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