Soon to get married but dont know if he still loves me
Asalam walaikum,
I'm 18 years old and the man I'm going to marry (inshallaah) is 30 years old. It's been 2 months since we wanted to get married. He was already married in the past. and the lady he married was of his parents choice. But after a year of marriage he divorced her because he didn't see any future in their marriage. Now he has met me and says he has fallen for me and has made his parents ask my parents. We usually talk to know each other better. And we have a lot of arguments and fights (maybe because he stays in France and I stay in Saudi - long distance). Everything was going good until a few days back. I think he has started to ignore me. Now rarely tells me that he loves me which he often did. When I ask him he says he was simply tired.
I'm afraid he doesn't love me anymore. and also I'm afraid if he'd leave me after marriage if it happens. I'm really depressed now and confused as well. I look forward to advice . Thank you.
fatiha amra
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Asalaamu alaikum, theres a few worrying things here - one the age gap. Hes been married before and divorced so quickly sounds like he 'changed his mind'. Secondly, Loves got very little to do with marriage- you need to talk about serious things to determine compatibility not how many times he says I love you. Thirdly his statements make it sound as if hes changing his mind- as if hes a bit frivolous with his choice and can just as quickly like you as he can dislike you. In all, my opinion, he sounds like someone to stay away from or at the least, be wary of, yes you should feel like you can love someone but love before marriage is a cloud that doesnt let you think properly about someone and what life would be like with them.
Nothing to be depress because you are not married to him?So what life goes on.You see today muslims are disobeying the commandments of Allah and so naturally there life is a nervous wreck.Wether poor or rich educated illiterate .If we dont obey then failure will be in both of the worlds and thats a fact! The right way is we should see this person of interest and prepare questions and if that person is on the same page then you will know.Mind you first the person should have good islamic upbringing.Thats important. Saudis are very strict in and opposing religion which is a big wrong.All because of the ideology and methodology is incorrect.Islam should never be forced and so it back fires.Many saudi students come to B.C and there so lost. The reason is simple once looked at in detail. The correct way is following any of the 4 major schools of thought. The salafis and wahabis are very extreme. Dont worry about marryibg until you figure yourself out.Get a career and learn deen
Hey dont get tensed Fatiha maybe Allah showed you some sorta sign to backout early before something big happens.What I think is that he no longer is interested and if you guys met through internet then probably it wont last that longer .There is nothing wrong in talking to him but as long as you dont meet him in person I dont think so you will get the picture correctly.
What if he has this habit of flirting and by the time he ll get bore from you and do exactly the same thing as he did before.
If you are okay to talk about this with your parents then tell them how you feel and how he is behaving but as far as I think I am sorry but I dont find it good.
What you can do is that you can do istekhara,if it comes good then go for it otherwise just dont.
wish you all the best
I know its easy to comment and suggest but trst me i know this feeling, going through the same or maybe worse.BUt thats life right so put your trust in Allah and leave it to HIM.