Suffering from ill treatment from parents
Assalam...Im in a big emotional problem...I have got 2 sisters...they are smaller than me...My parents prefer the middle one over us...She knows this fact n keep on abusing of it...Whenever she doesnt like something me n my other sister do, she just go to my parents and emotionally blackmail them...
My parents are facing some sort of problem in their couple...my father is not sincere towards my mom...and im ze only one who is supporting my mother all the time...my sister(middle one), she doesnt say anything as she gets all ze material things from my father..so she prefer to remain silent...
However, she is the most preferred one....and every times she commit a mistake, im being yelled at on her behalf....
Everytime my sister's boyfriend comes, my mum tells my dad that its my friend....so that my sister doesnt get any problem with my dad.
N now my dad hates me...its been 2 years since he is not talking to me...and my mother keeps on abusing and shouting at me whenever i raise my voice against my sister.
I dnt know what to do...i just keep on crying n crying...ze day before that happened i dreamed of someone very pious telling me...that the Holy Prophet SAW is telling me that no matter what....he is here for me and loves me a lot..and is protecting me...
Please help me...im not able to handle it anymore.
Aisha06
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I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and I hope that it doesn't damage you and makes you a stronger individual .
I would have to say that even though parents are suppose to treat all their children equally , some unfortunately have favorites. This is something I've gone through my self, maybe not to the degree of your situation , but I know the feeling.
In the past what I've done is talk to my mother about how I feel , and the difference of treatment I sense. My delivery wasn't always the best, as I tended to be too emotional at times. However, she would change when ever I talked to her and things would go back to how they used to be. I'm learning to accept it for what it is. My sole purpose is to obey my parents and make sure that they are completely pleased with me as a daughter , for this is very important for entering paradise inshallah .
So my advice to you is to talk to both or either parent and explain your feelings if you can. If they change , then great , if they don't ,then you'll have to accept it. Don't say anything hurtful, don't push them towards changing, and don't make them feel guilty. Also I wouldn't advice you to speak about this to your sister, or push the issue, because you might be labeled as jealous , which will just cause even more issues in the future.
ONE thing you need to do is tell your father that your sister's boyfriend is not your friend at all,there's no reason why you should take the wrap for that and this has now cost you your relationship with your father. I would come clean with this ASAP.
I always try to remind my self that soon everyone will leave the nest, and these will only be memories, who knows you might look back and actually laugh. One thing that might come out of this is you learning what not to do when you have you own family inshallah.
Good luck , take it easy ok ? and read Quran, you'll feel better about everything inshallah
Assalam alaikum Sister,
I wish I knew how old you were--I am very sorry you are going through such a difficult time in your life. Your story isn't about a short bad experience in life, but rather something you have to endure constantly. May Allah give you the strength to bear such a trial, Ameen.
Sister, I suggest that you read the Quran as much as possible and do so with meaning. Pay particular attention to the story of Prophet Yusuf AS and Prophet Ibrahim AS. Both of them faced great challenges with the next of kin and their stories can help you build strength in your soul to bear the difficulties you are experiencing within your family.
Practically speaking, you should focus your time on your studies and make special time for yourself where you take care of who you are so that you may become the best person you can be, inn shaa Allah. Rather than looking for peace and comfort from the ones you would expect to give that to you, seek it only and only in Allah swt and recognize that you can be strong.
It could be that your mother and father are not knowing what they are doing to you and they rely so much on you that they forget that you are a child and need love too. I don't think that it is right, but for whatever reason, this does happen.
If you can, form a support group with other Muslims in your community with whom you can talk about your ambitions and life goals--and then pursue what your goals are. Don't let anyone or anything bring you down. Inn shaa Allah, you can do anything you want as soon as you start loving and taking care of yourself.
May Allah ease your burdens, Ameen.
talk with ur parents. tell them what u feel about them. tell them u r observing injustice with u but talk in a polite manner. keep in mind that ur parents..even if they r wrong (they r humans and humans do make mistakes) still they deserve respect. ur problem can be solved with repeated talks on the issue. parents will realize their mistakes