Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I support my husband financially?

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Salaams,

I´m a woman of 30 years,  married for 3 years. I have a son but my life is at a stake, my husband doesn´t earn anything and expect me to support him.

After our marriage,  he got married again and now going for a third marriage and working on a phenomena of take it or leave it

I don´t know what to do. Should I support him or not?

Thank you


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7 Responses »

  1. Asalamu alaikum,

    Sis It is your husband's duty to support you financially not yours.
    But I can understand you wanna help him by givin him some money which is ok but you shouldn't be
    Financially support him cos it feels as tho ur roles have swapped over.
    Also once you support him he will expect you to do it all the time he may also
    Take advantage cos of that.

    Give him a little support if you want and tell him to get a job. But I wouldn't advise givin money cos you mentioned He married again and who knows what he will really do with the money,
    He might use that money for his other wives.

    Ma salama

  2. Salam Sister,

    Your husband should provide for you and your son, plain and simple. If he does not have a job and makes no money on his own...how is it that he not only has a second wife but is also going to marry a third?! He obviously does not know his responsibilities to his family. To simply continue to marry more women when he doesn't even support the one he has (not to mention his child) is simply irresponsible on his part. Ultimately, you will have to do what is in your heart. You either accept things as they are and continue to support him, or give him an ultimatum to get a job and be a man and support his family as Allah intended. If he wants to continue in his lifestyle of the rich and famous and let you support him, it's time to consider what it is that you want out of a marriage...a bum who allows his woman to provide for the family or a husband to care for and support you financially as well as emotionally in your journey throughout life together.

    Salam

  3. Assalamu alaykum,

    How rude "take it or leave it"?

    What has happened sister? Was your marriage going on well? You have not mentioned any details of what happened in the years that followed your marriage, why he left work (if he was working) etc. Please write a bit more.

    As for supporting him. What would you get by supporting an unthankful person? We do not ask any thanks from him, but at least he should be aware of your readiness to support him and should not look for other women without proper Islamic reasons.

    We cannot say much, except that you give us more detail about him.

    And yes, if he is rude and does not realize your importance, he should be give some "ultimatum" as sister Najah wrote or I if you feel he is good for nothing - except to be husband by name and a man to return to at the end of the day - then I doubt the emotional person in you would be able to sustain longer.

    My advice:

    If you like to continue longer by support him, do it as long as you are able to.
    If you feel it is a burden: drop it. Do not go any further carrying this burden. Look for other options open for you in the Deen of Islam.

    Solution from the Qur'an:

    Allah says in Surah Nisaa:
    128. If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, Lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
    129. Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so): But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.
    130. But if they separate, Allah will compensate each out of His abundance. Allah is ever All Embracing, All Knowing.

    See sister Samia, this is the beauty of the Qur'an. I find most, yes "most" Muslims not having the value of the Qur'an in their lives.

    Just see in the above verses, how Allah gives solution to your problem. Just see our advices with our "limited knowledge" and "shortsightedness" and see Allah's reply to your question in "infinite knowledge" and "wisdom".

    Read the above verses, answers to your question lie there in.

    And read the Qur'an a lot, Insha Allah you will see a way ahead.

    Salaam.

    * * *

    Therefor give good tidings (O Muhammad) to my bondmen, who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.- Surah 39, Az Zumar, verse 17-18.

  4. I am a woman of 25, I am engaged to a man who wants me to support him. He earns well three times my salary and he is afraid I will support my family for the rest of my life which I will always do. At the beggining things were cool between us but then when things came to money and when both families met he has changed alot ! I do not know what to do besides I feel he is stingy and greedy. He supports his family, I have never complained but he does not want me to support mine! He has no right to interfere with my salary and I am not giving him not a single penny. In Islam a husband should support his wife financially even if she were rich.

  5. hi sister you hav the answer already, you don't hv to support you hsb financially anymore. with no money how can he manage to merry three wives????? he is cheating you that he has no money while his taking yours and financing your ernemies. be extra careful

  6. Salam, I'm a 30 year old women married for almost 3 years, I have a 2 year old child and inshallah 1 on the way.. I live with my husbands family since day 1, my husband hasn't worked for almost a year now.. His job has always been on and off..

    (Remainder of question deleted by Editor)

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