older-woman-younger-man

salamu alikum all,

This is my first post and I want  to counsel with you about  my case.  I am 28 years old man I was and still looking to propose to a girl who could accept me as I am. AlhamdulilAllah I am not alcoholic, I am really fine inside with all sense, but I have something prevents me to work till now. Most of girls won't accept me since I am not working and I understand that, it's really the hardest part I have. I found a woman who she is 55 years old and she is beautiful inside and out look ,she told me I am precious in her eyes but she is trying to prevent marriage to me by saying that she is afraid that one day will come any I will realize that she is older than me.

I don't know about such thing and I told her if she provides me with all my needs I won't deny her and won't disappoint her, yet still I don't know what is gonna happen.  I don't want to be pessimistic and I know every thing is in the hand of Allah, I don't know about the future but I know who I am now 28 years and I haven't had a girlfriend. I don't like such things so I am in need for Islamic marriage. My family on other hand, didn't agree when I talked about it and I see it's enough.

I respect them and I will listen to them when its a good thing for me but I can't handle it anymore you know what I mean?  I don't want to change in a moment and be a player getting girls every time I am really afraid of it because these days seductions are every where.

I want to get your opinion please and what do you  say about what I am doing now !!

Age differences between a husband and wife are unimportant from an Islamic legal perspective, but it can be difficult to go against social customs and traditions.

Question:

I've known this girl for a few years now and I wish to marry her. But the problem is that many think it's wrong that she is 3 years older than me. I love her very deeply and I believe she does too, but she'd never betray her family and friends. What i want to know is that is it lawful for a Muslim girl who is 3 years older to marry a Muslim boy?. . - Matt

Wael's Answer:

Dear Matt, As-salamu alaykum,

From an Islamic legal perspective, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. After all, look at the marriage of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), who was fifteen years older than him. Of course the Prophethood had not yet come to him when he married her, but it came during his marriage to her. Her support and love was invaluable to him and the success of his mission. He did not marry anyone else while she remained alive.

Of course, social traditions are something else, and in many Muslim societies this is a no-no. I don't know why. I think it's a silly taboo.

By the way, you said "she'd never betray her family and friends." What do her friends have to do with it? She has no obligation to them regarding her choice of marriage partner.

To her family, on the other hand, she does have an obligation. First of all, she has the obligation to be obedient to Allah, and then to be sincere and honest with her parents. Has she been honest with them? Or has your relationship with her been secret and inappropriate? I think rather than worrying about the age difference, you need to carefully consider your behavior in this entire matter and ask whether it has been consistent with Islamic teachings.

And Allah knows best.

If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, . I invite you to post your comments below.

(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.

Best regards,. - Wael Abdelgawad
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