Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Thinking of suicide – Did I act right?

Whispers in the night

Assalam u allakum..

i am a girl. i meet about 3 years ago a boy on net. we become friends... close friends... he say he love me very much...

then when i fall deeply in love with him... when he notice that... he changed. He want the love from me, which people do in sex. i say that this is not good. but he say that its not sex its love... he just chat with me. i obey him,but my heart always say that its wrong...

i always pray for us..but he remains the same... now he find another gf and now he left me. He says that u r only my friend...what i do?

i disobey him so he left me... did i do wrong? were these talks not wrong? (sorry for my English mistakes) but plz tell me that why everybody is telling sex chat as only love..

also i have another question that did kasam (urdu word) can be broke?

angel


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9 Responses »

  1. Asalaamu alaikum

    SubhanAllah this isnt love. Allah blessed you by taking a bad man away from you. First he is saying do haraam then he blackmails you and when you feel guilt he leaves for another girl - how much love did he show you then? Not much. The right man would never leave or pressure you to do bad he would encourage you in goodness, dont feel so worthless - be a good muslimah- focus on Allah your purpose in life isnt to die over a man it is to worship Allah. Please sister there are bigger things in life, the right man will not make you feel bad or guilty, look for someone with deen this time around and for marriage not some movie version of love. You are a good girl or you wouldnt be feeling bad about such talks so make repentance to Allah and never look back, Allah will provide you a husband, forget men like this find the good ones.

    May Allah make it easy for you

    • Dear sister

      Let me congratulate you first that this dirty relationship is over... Congratulations.

      It is very sad that this bad man managed to make you do these dirty things and then left you after he got what he wanted from you. You should celebrate that he is gone ... not think of suicide or harming yourself for a cheap person like him

      Alhamdulillah that he did not find a chance to rape you in reality and destroy you even further.

      I know it hurts because you gave your heart to a man who only wanted you as a sex toy.. but the shame is on him.... and you need to get over this .. and go back to Allah and repent (Tawbah )

      Now you are more mature and know not every guy who tell you some sweet words is a real loving man. now you know NOT to give yourself cheap to cheap men.

      It will take some time and you will get over it. but you need to learn from this and make lots of istighfar and Twabah..

      May Allah protect you from bad guys who have no respect for themselves or their sisters in Islam, and give you a good man who respect you and love you.

      Be strong and move on.. Allah Hafiz

  2. your heart was right a whisper from angel was good thing. Look you should not be on these chats,meeting etc... because the end result is never good .Allah doesnt like this kind of behaviour or lifestyle that isnt in the way of prophet muhammad. so u have a chance.you learned something dont get attached to anything unless its the rightway. this is the doing of shaitan

  3. Dear sister

    Let me congratulate you first that this dirty relationship is over... Congratulations.

    It is very sad that this bad man managed to make you do these dirty things and then left you after he got what he wanted from you. You should celebrate that he is gone ... not think of suicide or harming yourself for a cheap person like him

    Alhamdulillah that he did not find a chance to rape you in reality and destroy you even further.

    I know it hurts because you gave your heart to a man who only wanted you as a sex toy.. but the shame is on him.... and you need to get over this .. and go back to Allah and repent (Tawbah )

    Now you are more mature and know not every guy who tell you some sweet words is a real loving man. now you know NOT to give yourself cheap to cheap men.

    It will take some time and you will get over it. but you need to learn from this and make lots of istighfar and Twabah..

    May Allah protect you from bad guys who have no respect for themselves or their sisters in Islam, and give you a good man who respect you and love you.

    Be strong and move on.. Allah Hafiz

    • Very well written response. Your way of thinking about a response is how I handle bad situations in my life. We have very similar thinking pattern.

  4. Assalam alykum Sister,

    The internet is a very bad place. And you should not trust anyone you meet on the internet. Especially since you are a girl and boys on the internet are looking for entertainment and enjoyment with girls. They are not serious about love. Please be cautious while surfing the net.

    Most probably he lied to you that he loves you just to have fun with you. Many guys use the lie of saying that sex chat is love only to use you for their entertainment, that's how the internet is. So thank Allah that your relationship is now broken and you are saved from a liar guy.

    You should not have started to look and chat with a boy on internet, because it is a type of Zina and it is haram because he is non mehram. Do taubah and istighfar sincerely and make a promise not to repeat this sin again, Allah will forgive your sins.

    Move on in life and stop thinking about what happened with this guy, make dua that Allah provides you a righteous spouse and look forward to spending a halal marriage with a Muslim man.

    In the mean time start learning more about Islam and read the Quran regularly.

    May Allah grant you a righteous Husband.

  5. Thanks to you my brothers and sisters,your answers opened my eyes.May ALLAH protect us from shetan and his evil works. ameen. now i am feeling better.i now study more and more about Islam and become a good Muslim.

    • Leav him for the sake of Allah hope U will have better then that remember Shetan only want u to disobey ur lord that boy is even such a trap of Shetan and sis one more thing dear after u leav him Shetan always make u go astray so do control on ur nafs try to repent to Allah and read Astagfirullah as much as u can and do charity indeed good deeds remove the bad deeds may Allah love u so much ameen

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