Tired of an unhappy marriage
I am a 35-year-old guy married for 14 years. We have 2 daughters aged 12 and 10.
My parents had arranged my marriage to my wife. Right from day 1 we have never loved each other, and in the early days it came to light that my wife had actually wanted to marry her sister-in-law's brother. But my mother in law persuaded my father that this was not the case and it was vicious rumours that people had made up.
She got her visa about 3 months after marriage and joined me in the UK. Right from the start I always felt that she didn't want to be with me, as she was more interested in my brothers and brother-in-law than me. She would always laugh and joke with them and be withdrawn with me. There have been several times when I have seen her standing very close to my brothers and I can honestly say flirting with them.
These mannerisms of her have left me really embarrassed with my family and one occasion my sister said something along the lines that it's a good job that she is married otherwise she would be god knows where! I didn't challenge my sister as I knew exactly what she was implying.
However now it has come to such a stage in my life that we don't share the same bed and havent had normal relations for a good part of the last 7 years of our marriage. I have been holding in my feelings for so long that I have become quite a recluse and my relationship with my family has become quite formal. They know what she is like but till today no one has voiced it to my face and I know they must feel bad for me that I ended up with such a life partner.
Also my relationship with my children has started to suffer. I don't like talking to them and upon returning from work I just stay in my room, and we don't eat or do anything together as a family.
I really don't know what to do how to make things right or where to go from this stage of my married life. I sometimes just want to walk out and leave them be. I know my children are hurting at seeing me like this as I have always maintained or tried to maintain a happy environment at home, but now I just don't have the energy to do so. I want to walk out and live the reaming part of my life away from this situation.
Please remember me in your duaas and any practical advice my brothers/sisters can give me will be greatly appreciated.
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