Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Trying to conceive, what is the best position or method?

pregnancy test 300x225 %photo

Asslam allaikum,

I am Fasiha 25 year old. I was married last year in April. Since then am trying to conceive but unfortunately failed.

My husband and me badly want a child to fill our life with grace.

We tried many things to conceive search many sites for solution but failed to do so

My husband don't force me to do so.. and am not at all in stress but from last two months my periods are late I had a positive pregnancy test but I don't know whats going on I am failed again and again now am very hopeless, stressed and tensioned..

Everyone in my family cooperate: me my husband, my mother in law, my sis in law, every one but I myself do not feel satisfied..

My query is: is there any particular position or manner of doing intercourse.. according  to Islam OR position after intercourse to conceive.

Kindly give a detailed answer so that my problem solved..

And yes now I'm following the salah and the duas you told to other users.

Help me

Allah Hafiz

remember me in prayers..

- Fasiha


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50 Responses »

  1. As-salamu alaykum sister. I got these tips from justmommies.com. - Wael, IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    How to Get Pregnant Faster: Ten Tips

    Tip # 1. To get pregnant faster have sex three times a week.

    Having regular sex is the best way to get pregnant. Couples often try to time everything perfectly for ovulation but do not have sex when they think they are not ovulating. It is true that sex that is not within the time of ovulation will not result in pregnancy. However, because women do not always ovulate when they think they will, having sex three times a week will help a woman to cover her bases, so to speak, and not miss an opportunity to get pregnant.

    Tip # 2. To get pregnant faster use an ovulation prediction kit or fertility monitor.

    Using an ovulation kit to predict when you are ovulating will improve your chances of getting pregnant. For many women charting or other methods of ovulation prediction are too confusing. Ovulation prediction kits work by reading LH surges prior to ovulation. They are relatively easy to use and are generally accurate for predicting ovulation. Fertility monitors, such as the Clear Blue Easy monitor, are also a worthwhile investment if you would like to get pregnant faster. Fertility monitors are similar to ovulation prediction kits in that they read changes in LH but they also read changes in other hormones and don’t require any guesswork for couples. They are easy to use and will tell you when the best time to get pregnant is.

    Tip # 3. To get pregnant faster have sex before ovulation (not after).

    Sometimes couples get confused about the best time to have sex in relationship to ovulation. You have a small window of time each month to get pregnant. After a woman ovulates the egg will survive approximately 24 hours. Sperm, on the other hand, will live for up to three to five days. This is why having sex two to three days before ovulation will increase your chances of getting pregnant. Don’t wait until the day you ovulate to have sex. Your partner’s sperm will last longer than your egg and you don’t want to miss an opportunity by waiting.

    Tip # 4. Don’t rely on the Calendar method for predicting ovulation.

    A lot of couples have heard to have sex around day fourteen of your cycle. This is based on the calendar method and assumes that you have a regular 28-day cycle and ovulate mid-cycle. Although this is better than just picking an arbitrary day to have sex, it is not a very accurate way to predict when you ovulate. Many women do not ovulate on day fourteen and knowing precisely when you ovulate will help you time intercourse better. Ovulation prediction kits, looking at previous months bbt charts, or watching for signs of ovulation will help you to determine when you ovulate.

    Tip # 5. If you want to get pregnant faster, don't rely on fertility charting alone to predict ovulation.

    Fertility Charting is great for tracking your cycle but it does have disadvantages. By the time you can see ovulation on a bbt chart, you have already ovulated. It is good to chart so you can track your cycles, see if you ovulate the same time each month, and also so you can look back on your cycle and see if you timed things right. But if this is your first cycle trying to get pregnant or if you are not ovulating at the same time each month, an ovulation prediction kit would be more helpful.

    Tip # 6. Before you start trying to get pregnant see your doctor.

    Make sure you are in good health and have had a regular check up from your OBGYN or medical provider. Untreated infections, sexually transmitted diseases, or poor health can affect your chances of getting pregnant. Its good to see a doctor as well as start taking prenatal vitamins prior to trying to conceive.

    Tip # 7. When trying to get pregnant, don’t smoke, drink alcohol, or abuse drugs.

    This may seem like common sense but many women do try to get pregnant while smoking, drinking or using drugs. Smoking, drugs, and alcohol can affect your fertility. It will also affect your unborn child. It is important to stop smoking or using drugs and alcohol before getting pregnant and not wait until you find out you are pregnant.

    Tip # 8. To get pregnant faster have enjoyable sex.

    Sometimes when couples are trying to conceive, sex becomes a job or function of reproduction and is not as enjoyable. Plan a romantic evening or try something different to spice things up. How you are feeling sexually may factor into your chances of getting pregnant. Some researchers believe that having an orgasm during sex increases your chances of getting pregnant. For women, the spasmic movements of orgasm will help pull the sperm into the uterus and for men a better orgasm may increase the man’s sperm count.

    Tip # 9. Have sex in positions that keep sperm inside the vagina longer.

    The missionary position is a good position to use when trying to get pregnant. Avoid positions where the woman is on top. Gravity will allow sperm to leak out with these positions. Also try placing a pillow under your hips to help tilt your pelvis and keep the sperm in longer. Don’t get up right after sex. Try to relax and allow the sperm to stay in the vagina as long as possible.

    Tip # 10. There is no such thing as trying too hard to get pregnant.

    Most couples get pregnant within a year of trying. If you have not gotten pregnant within a year consult your doctor for advice.

    • Salam dear brothers and sisters

      I am a gynaecologist, therefore I feel obliged to apply the knowledge that Allah has bestowed upon me in order to help someone else in need.

      Well done, Brother Wael, for the excellent advice that you have given. If someone has tried regularly to get pregnant for a year without any success, it's time to get investigated. It is better to check things out early rather than wait for years, as fertility declines with age, and the chances of success with Artificial Reproductive Techniques also declines with age. Nevertheless, do not stress yourself out or worry yourself too much, as this itself contributes to hormonal disturbances and further aggravates the situation. This is where, as Muslims, we have an advantage, in the sense that we always place our hope in Allah, and Allah tells us never to despair. Whatever He has destined for us, we always believe that that's the best for us, because Allah knows best and we don't.

      For example, I read recently about a Muslimah who was a Hafizah since very young, and has passed on her knowledge of the Quran to thousands of Muslims, some of whom are now renowned scholars. She passed away recently, may Allah bless her soul. She married one of her students but never had any children. Nevertheless, she was happy and praised Allah, and felt that Allah did not give her any children so that she was free to dispense her knowledge to thousands of others' children over the years, 'amal which, InshaAllah, will earn her so much reward from Allah.

      Only Allah alone knows what's best for each and every one of us. Trust Him.

      Sister Fasihah, you may undergo infertility investigation and treatment if you so choose, but remember, some of these tests, especially the invasive ones, comes with a risk, so does the treatment for infertility. Ironically, infertility does not kill, but treatment for infertility has the potential to kill. Of course the risk is low but it is there. So, perform solat istikharah and pray to Allah for the best in this world and the hereafter.

      • Salaam happy hippo.

        I'm glad ur on here so that I can use your knowledge about this topic.

        I am experiencing symptoms of endometriosis but have yet to confirm that. I have an FSH level of 9.85 and I am 23 years old. My tubes r fine. Already went through 2 iui n they both failed.

        My heart is telling me to do a laparoscopy and remove endo and try naturally n maybe iui or even ivf whatever Allah has planed next if I choose to take that route. However my doc is hesitant and is saying to move straight on to ivf, which I think is silly if the pain I'm feeling is endo then would that not cause problems? What are the success rates of ivf with untreated endometriosis? ?

        • Salam dear sister Starlight

          Firstly, allow me to clarify that I do not subspecialize in the treatment of infertility. My special interest is in obstetrics and high risk pregnancy. Nevertheless, it is easy enough for me to discuss with my colleagues who are infertility experts and offer you some answer to your queries.

          There are two questions here:
          1. Do you have active endometriosis?
          2. Are your Fallopian tubes patent? Could they be blocked, hence leading to the failed IUI attempts?

          Laparoscopy provides direct evidence of the presence of endometriosis but the caveat is that endometriotic lesions may not be easily visible on laparoscopy sometimes. Besides, laparoscopy is a surgical procedure, hence invasive and not without risk.

          Serum CA125 level (a simple blood test) can serve as a guide to whether you truly have active endometriosis, although it is not the gold standard to confirm the diagnosis of endometriosis. Active endometriosis, evidenced by raised CA125, will definitely jeopardize the chances of a successful pregnancy conceived by whatever means. So if CA125 shows active endometriosis, that should be treated first.

          In order to address the second issue, you should have a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), which is a radiological procedure (X-ray) with contrast introduced through the cervix. If the tubes are blocked, then clearly IUI is not going to work for you. IVF will certainly be your treatment of choice then.

          I hope the above explanation helps. Wallahu a'lam.

  2. Crap...i didnt knw abt all this...i all this real???

    Actually i heard abt some Du'a but all this...never

    By the way it depends completely on ur Imaan...Issa (AS) came without the mean of a dad.

    The fluid a man release is not the way to conceive...but depends if Allah Ta'ala wana too...

    Like Allah Ta'ala says in surah Yaasin..."kun fayakun"
    See the translation...hehe...im not good in this...better check it urself....its abt the 2 or 3 last verses of Surah Yaasin...

    by the way read the Du'a zat should be read be4 u n ur husb do karate...oki...hope u understand the word karate...hehe and specially when ur husb release ze....hmmm....there is a Du'a...so do it...i think wen u finish also...contact Ulama...they'll tell u

    oki Take Care bye...

    Ma'salaama

    • Please watch your language, there's no need to use words like "crap".

      The Prophet 'Isa (as) was one single case in all of human history; he was a great Prophet and a miracle from Allah. I hope you are not thinking that similar miracles will occur in your case.

      It's good to say dua' and turn to Allah for help. And we should also utilize the knowledge of medical science to our benefit. The two are not mutually exclusive, actually all scientific knowledge proceeds from Allah, since it is He who gave us intellects to think, and who created the laws of the universe itself.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Believe in Allahg my sister when u have intercourse with husband dont think about a baby at that time just enjoy inshlhha u will hear a gud news soon.

  4. salam.
    Im also trying to concieve and v depress.i do all things whch i see on different websites even i did detail medicle checkup of me n my husband.my hus live in madinah SA and im in pakistan.in one year and 8 month he spent 4 month with me with gape.i believe if Allah want only one day enough and nw i just pray

    • Dear, Asalaamualaykum,

      I don't think there is anything medically wrong with you. Sometimes it can take a year or more for a woman to conceive. Perhaps you could suggest to your husband that you live together.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. try this product OvuSense - advanced fertility monitor available from the following website:

    http://www.fertility-focus.com

    the product determines your ovulation and predicts fertile period - to maximise your chances of getting pregnant.

  6. Asslam allaikum,

    I am Noor 25 year old. I was married last year in April. Since then am trying to conceive but unfortunately failed.

    We tried many things to conceive search many sites for solution but failed to do so

    My husband don't force me to do so.. and am not at all in stress but from last 4 months my periods are late I had a positive pregnancy test but I don't know whats going on I am failed again and again now am very hopeless, stressed and tensioned..

    I did many test all is positive.DOctors said that my problem is Hypothyriod.
    there are any particular position or manner of doing intercourse.. according to Islam OR position after intercourse to conceive.

    Kindly give a detailed answer so that my problem solved..

    And yes now I'm following the salah and the duas you told to other users.

    Help me

    • Dear sister

      I don't know if it is a weird co-incidence, but the first part of your post is strangely identical to sister Fasiha. Are you Fasiha, or someone else?

      Anyway, I am a gynaecologist and I agree with Brother 'Ali that you must get your hypothyroid state well treated and optimized first and foremost, because hypothyroidism can even endanger your own life (as well as impair your quality of life and mental capacity) if left untreated.

      One more important thing, I would like to advise you not to treat this space as a medical consultation channel, particularly for possible emergencies or acute problems. If you have sudden abdominal pain and things like that, it would be better to go see a doctor, preferably one who has been attending to you all this while and has your medical records.

  7. If you are hypothyroid and planning to get pregnant it is important to consult your doctor since it may be necessary to adjust your thyroid medication during and after pregnancy. Pregnancy affects many different hormone levels and bodily functions and pregnant women with a previously underactive thyroid may have to increase their dosage of medication. Hypothyroid pregnant women should have their thyroid levels checked every few months during and immediately after pregnancy to determine medication dosage.

    During intercourse the best position is ' missionary position ' to conceive.

    Have patience and Ask Allah to shower his mercy on you.

    • Oh and inform your husband to do a medical check-up too. It may be of his low sperm count etc.

      • AOA
        My husband had also his semen test but their is no problem in his sperm.Doctor said that the main with me like thyroid.I m very very dishearted because we need baby but still failed.I also started thyroid medication.Acually my menses are irregular.I also used clomedon medicine for getting pregnant but not positive result i used this medicine after checkup when i live in Pakistan.Now we live out of our country and this thyroid problem appear in this country. The doctor said there is a problem not anything else. What you say? when will the chance to get pregnant after thyroid treatment?

        • Firstly, I'm not a doctor, but I have a friend who is a hypothyroid patient too . She, like you, tried to conceive many times but failed. But not anymore.

          You said you took ' Clomid ' in Pakistan. Did your doctor there prescribe it after extensive check-up or tests or did he just give it inorder to increase your hormonal level to get pregnant ? Because from what I've known, ' clomid ' has severe sideeffects too ( severe cramps, multiple-pregnancies, vision change, ovarian cancer etc ). These side effects would occur if you are being treated ignorantly. You said that, once your pregnant is positive but then you failed. Whilst in the pregnant state, have you taken clomid ? If yes, clomid shouldn't be taken during pregnancy as it may cause misscarriage.
          My friend had few miscarriages due to having hypothyroid disease. She waited many many years inorder to get pregnant and now she Alhamdullilah have 4 beautiful children. She advised to get your hypothyroid treated first and then think of pregnancy. If somehow you got pregnant, you need to check your thyroid levels every 4/6 weeks because pergnancies and thyroid together don't go well and needs proper medication.

          Dont worry much, if thyroid is your only problem then you WILL get pregnant sometime later insha'Allah. Just have patience. And you NEED to relax. Do not ever stress yourself because stress plays an important factor in avoiding pregnancy in thyroid patient.

          There's another thing called as ' Hyperthyroid ', which is even more serious. Make sure you dont have this. Do a medical check up once again if possible.

          Get yourself an experiance doctor, and insha'Allah they'll help you better.

          • And if you have any of these symptoms -
            Pain in the lower abdomen in the middle of the menstrual cycle,
            Over stimulation of the ovaries causing production of many eggs,
            Hot flushes, Abdominal discomfort (swelling or bloating), Nausea and vomiting, Breast discomfort, Visual disturbances, Headache, Heavy or painful menstrual periods, Endometriosis, Dizziness, Nervous tension, Insomnia, Fatigue, Skin reactions such as rash and itch,
            Loss of contact with reality,
            Stroke (cerebrovascular accident),
            Depression, Seizures (convulsions) etc, you need to visit your doctor ASAP.

  8. My TSH level is 9.004. Free T4 1.06.

  9. JazakAllah
    i m taking medicine for thyroid thank u so much. i m very disturb.please pray for me specially.

  10. AOA
    Please tell me, My periods are very painful and I do not take any medicine because my periods are already irregular. 2 months ago my menses are regular after taking medicine.Please don't mind i m disturb and want to know the detail.

    • You are suffering from 'Dysmenorrhea' which results in painful menstrual periods. This happens due to some medication side effects ( clomid ) or anovulation or infection in uterine lining etc it certainly has somthing to do with your hypothyroidism medication and disease as I've mentioned earlier. Therefore, your best course of action right now would be to visit your gynecologist and get treated ASAP. Furthure delaying would only make your situation worst most probably.

  11. I am 32 years old n my husband age is 46.
    can I conceive a baby ? is age effective to get pregnant?
    my all test reports are clear.
    its my 1st marriage n my husband's 2nd n he has already three children with his 1st wife. he don't need a child but its only my wish to be mother of my own baby.
    After sex he gets me up n send to me washroom for passes out urine, kindly advice me how much time i should take rest after sex until then the sperm are locate eggs n goes to fertile.
    Please also advice the best time to sex after menstruation cycle.

    THANKS.

    • rafia, normally I would tell you to log in and write your question as a separate post, but I was curious about the answer, so I did the research. According to babycentre.co.uk, fertility starts to decline for women from about the age of 30, dropping down more steeply from the age of 35. Most women will be able to conceive naturally and give birth to a healthy baby if they get pregnant at 35. After 35 the proportion of women who experience infertility, miscarriage or a problem with their baby increases. By the age of 40 only two in five of those who wish to have a baby will be able to do so. That doesn't mean it's impossible for you. But it can take much longer to get pregnant when you hit your late 30s or early 40s. Among women of all ages, about half of the women who don't get pregnant in the first year, conceive during the following year. Another one per cent get pregnant if they keep trying for another year. So it pays to keep trying. This leaves about seven per cent of couples in the general population who do not conceive within three years.

      Figures for women aged 35 are similar, with 94 per cent conceiving within three years. By 38 years of age only 77 per cent of women fall pregnant within three years.

      According to Dr. Martin D. Bastuba, urination after intercourse is a good habit to prevent bladder infections. However, it you're trying to get pregnant then you should wait at least five minutes before urinating.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Alhamdulillah, excellent advice, Brother Wael. Even though I am a gynaecologist, I don't think I need to add anything more to what you have already said.

    • Brother Wael is right, just to add it is useful if you lay down flat after sex it's good.and it's good when you finish you period do sex regular till your next period cycle always not right sometimes we miss.

      I am also 22 and my husband is 40 I got pregnent after my marriage I didn't now I have a beautiful daughter. Mine also first and his second I was also afraid about getting pregnent because he was getting older. Have faith in Allah.

      • it's best to determine:
        Your cycle length - regular or irregular
        Whether you ovulated or not and what day was the ovulation in the last cycle.
        And to determine the fertile period for the next cycle when you ought to have sex to give you the best chance of conception.

        Having sex every day is like a having shot in the dark.

        Also to have sex in the fertile window would mean that your husband's sperm count would be high as well.

        There is a new medical device on the market that determines all that stated above.

        visit the website http://www.fertility-focus.com

        Hope this helps.

        mo

  12. Aoa
    Hopefully you would b fine. Today i 'm not feeling well actually pain in stomach and feel vomiting.what is the reason because my husband is not at home.please tell how is the problem? and today is my 4th cycle of the day.

  13. Assalmualikum sister and to ur family please keep fait on alla subanna tala.

    follow the rulz of islam sister please alla give u the best.
    1 namaz
    2 tilawat
    3 follow rulz all like behave with husband and family and do as islam show ok.
    4 ruza
    5 if u do all the thinks fait alla gives u child on jannat please fait on alla.
    6 islam follow.

  14. Afzal bhai AOA
    I want to say some if u wrote alla this not right ok we are muslim please write Allah this is right.
    You said follow the rule of Islam this is good for those people who forgot Allah.think right , if you do all the thinks fait Allah gives u child on Jannat please fait on Allah .InshAllah will be good. Please sorry and don't mind.

  15. Assalamoalaikum

    JAZAK ALLAH & Thanks to all of you Wael , Happy Hippo & nadia .
    ALLAH PAK bless you all.

    Please remember me in yours prayers.

    Mrs.Rafia Asim

  16. AOA i want to know about the ovulation and tell me the what time the egg release and doing in ovulation or before or after? Can you tell me my ovulation date my menses started on 11th jan 2013 so please tell the ovulation date exact. my cycle length is about 30 days. thanks

    • Salam Sister Noor

      To be exact, ovulation occurs 14 days BEFORE menses occurs, so you can only tell the date accurately AFTER you have had the next menses. However, for practical purposes, you can estimate the date from the first day of the last menses and your average cycle length (which may sometimes change, causing the estimation of ovulation date to become inaccurate).

      If your menses started on 11 Jan and your usual cycle length is 30 days, then your ovulation should occur on Day 16 of your cycle, which will fall on about 27 January in this cycle. Sperm lives for about 72 hours, whereas ovum lives for about 48 hours, so your fertile period starts about 3 days before your ovulation and lasts until 2 days after your ovulation. To keep things simple and maximize chances of conception, we say the fertile period is about 4 days, i.e. ovulation date +/- 2 days. Therefore, for this cycle, your fertile period starts on 25 January and ends on 29 January. The closer you are to the exact ovulation date (27 January) the better your fertility, In shaa Allah.

      To be most accurate about when ovulation occurs, we usually track follicular development (meaning ovum development) using ultrasound scan, which is performed every other day or every day around the time ovulation is estimated to occur, usually after giving the patient fertility medication such as clomiphene. A certain diameter of the follicle will indicate that ovulation is imminent, so that we can advise patients better as to when to have intercourse in order to maximize their chances of conceiving.

      May Allah grant your wish to have a baby soon. Ameen!

  17. jazakAllah and ameen , actually i used this medicine in 3 month (clomiphene) but had no positive result , those my menses are irregular but alhamdulilah all is good. after harmons treatment my menses are regular alhamdulilah . Now i am using omega 3 and red ginseng is it good for conceiving? What is ovulation symptoms ? actually i didn't home ovulation test, any simple symptom to i know that this is the best time to conceive.

    • Ideally when you take clomiphene, it should be accompanied by follicular tracking (serial ultrasound scans) to monitor your ovulatory function, so that you are properly monitored. Otherwise, you wouldn't know whether you are taking the ideal dosage of clomiphene or whether you are responding at all to clomiphene. Clomiphene has potential side effects and complications and should not be taken over a long period of time as though taking sweets. That's why proper monitoring of its effect on ovulation is important.

      Simple symptom of ovulation - spinnbarkeit - where the vaginal discharge becomes clear and stretchable.

      Omega and ginseng may improve fertility in general when taken by both men and women.

  18. okay thanks for your comments i want to know which is the best time to get pregnant morning and night and how many times the sperm reach the egg and how many times the egg go back to the uterus?

    • Dear sister Noor
      I'm afraid I do not have the answers to your questions. Please remember that human knowledge is limited. In addition, no matter how much we know or how smart we are, Allah knows better and it is He who decides the outcome of everything. Allah tells us to ask Him for whatever we want by being patient (sabr) and performing solat. We work within our means and do not have to exhaust ourselves in the process. May Allah grant you your wishes. Ameen!

    • early morning 4am to 6am best time get pregnant

  19. jazakALLAH because i m very much afraid plzzzzzzzzzzzzz pray for me

  20. AOA i want to know that my period date was 11 january but today is 11 day of my cycle, i feel pain in lower abdomen and back pain like menses pain and some time i walk than feel Dizziness.and my abdomen was disturb in periods now still disturb.please tell me what's the problem?

  21. plzzzzzzzzzzzzz reply me

  22. Hi I got married in January of this year. I have been trying to get pregnant since then but failed.
    I calculated my ovolution period and then tried but still nothing. I went to the doctir recently got
    Myself checked and was told tht I am fine and prescribed me folic acid. I am really scared cuz I dont want to wait
    For years to find out there is problem please help me out. Sorry I forgot to mention my age I am 26 years old and medical student myself. Latley I have experienced spotting for past three days. It is dry blood to brown spots.

  23. Dua you are spotting mean is it time for your cycle or were you thinking that you are pregnant ? Elaborate please. And guys try not to stress out. I understand there is usually pressure from family and the desire to be a parentd especially when you see cute kids but sometimes you have to accept what is from Allah swt. Good things come to those who wait. Not getting pregnant is one thing but getting pregnant and having miscarriage is worse. Its a horrible thing to go through with no support from anyone. Sometimes couples take several years to a decade to concieve. I have seen such cases. One of my aunts was unable to concieve for years and what she did she adopted a child who was to be aborted and she was blessed with 7 children. My point is dont be alarmed .Also as per above advices see a doctor and a good gynocologist but also be prepared sometimes they may not have answers as well. Sometimes they find a problem sometimes they dont. From blood tests to ultrasounds to invasive procedures to fertility treatments. I do understand the feelimgs of not having children feeling like a failure and being emvious of those who dont have to struggle to concieve however we have to practice patience and have faith in Allah swt.
    Take the story of Ibrahim AS and Sarah as an inspiration.

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