Upset after fight with mother
As salaam waalaykum
So I recently got into a fight with my mother. It was nothing big but she was upset and cried and so I apologized to her. I really did regret everything I did to her and since then I promised to try my best to control my anger.
But after the day we fought, she started telling the whole family of what I did. Now my whole family is like, going against me and this hurts so much. I don't know why, but now I have a sense of hatred towards her. I don't want to hate her but I just can't help it. I don't want to start another fight again but I really don't know what to do?
Any advise? Please help, I'm really confused right now. Thanks.
sn08
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Salaam sister I am going thru exactly the same you are not alone .. You will only find ease in Allah swt x
Wa 'alaikum as-salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh,
I think rather than being confused and hating your mother, maybe you should consider what she is doing as an opportunity for you to learn how to endure patience. The world is so big, and there are billion times of what your mum is doing awaiting you outside, either at your college, work place, or marital home.
What your mum is doing now might not make much sense to you, but that can't reach the quarter of what she experienced with you from when you were in her womb till now--you behaved in non-sense ways, but she was still patient with you. So please practice to increase your patience and be forgiving and overlooking. Talk to her with love and kindness, and then politely and humbly draw her attention to necessary issues--but at the end, you should still accept her for who she is.
Also, please remember that the status of a mother in Islam is so high to the extent that, she even comes as the third after Allah subhanahu wat'ala and His messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam). A mother deserves all sort of unconditional love and respect you could ever show to Allah subhanahu wata'ala, expect in worship. Therefore, just like the way you would be patient with a test from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's, be patient with your mum's actions--it is also a test and good for you, in reality.
Allah subhanahu wata'ala says:
Taysala ibn Mayyas said,
Hope this helps inshaAllah, and Allah Ta'ala knows best.
You may want to watch this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1O8LBvrDkE
As-salamu Alaykum,
Speaking as a mother, I can tell you that it can be shocking and very hurtful when a child of yours lashes out or says strong words. It doesn't mean that mothers are always right (we are not), but try to be a bit patient with your mother. Talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. That is the best way to heal and strengthen your relationship.
Assalamuaalaikum sister,
I am also going through same situation and it often happens with my Mom but I try to speak to her without any further delay to convince her that I don't mean to disrespect her or hurt her feelings and empathize with her. Try to speak to her without any delay.
Mother is more than any other relative hence do not bother about it. Nothing is more important that keeping your parents happy even if they are wrong at times.