Vietnamese girl in love with Iraqi man with two wives
I'm a Vietnamese girl, 26 years old. I have no religion. 6 years ago, I met an Iraqi man here in Vietnam, and fell in love with him. He is Muslim.
I understand he 's married. He has 2 wives and 4 children in Iraq. He says he is very happily married , however wants to marry to me as the 3rd wife. He suppose that he can have 4 wives.
If I accept to be considered as his 3rd wife, he will take me to his country home and I live with his family together.
Many people tell me not to accept and forget him. I tried but I could not. However, i'm afraid of my future what will happen to me if I accept. At my bottom heart, I love him very much and want to be his 3rd wife. But I fear his other wives ' jealousy. Will I able to live in a Muslim polygamous family?
Please help me. Give me advice. I cannot live without him.
- Phuong (vivi)
I would like to say yes you should go, because I am a Muslim and I believe that Islam is the true religion for all humanity, and going to Iraq would expose you to Muslim culture and maybe guide you to Islam.
But I cannot say that in good conscience because I think it will be very, very difficult if you go. You will not know the language. You will be in a completely different culture. You will be separated from your family and all your friends. And since he has two other wives, you will not see him as much as you would like and probably you will be very lonely.
Also, as you said, who knows how you will be treated by his other wives? Maybe they will resent you, or maybe they will see you as a stranger or a foreigner.
Last but not least, Iraq is a dangerous country these days.
So it's my opinion that you should not go, and you should end your relationship with this man.
You say you cannot live without him, but - and I'm sorry to be blunt - that's just one of those nonsense things that people say. Will you stop breathing without him? Will your heart stop beating? No, the truth is that you can live just fine without him. I realize that you have known him for six years, so you will miss him, and you will experience some heartache when you separate from him, but the pain will diminish with time.
You will find that Muslim men are usually very good and honest men. I know there are many Vietnamese Muslims. Perhaps you should investigate that and find yourself a nice Vietnamese Muslim man.
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.
(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.
- Wael Abdelgawad
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