We want to change my child’s Last Name
I remarried when my son was 2 years old. His biological father has been absent since then. No contact no support. We do not suffer from it and my husband loves him as his own. I know that the Quran is clear on the question of adoption with name change. It is a struggle for my husband and I because now our son is almost 6 years old and coming to understanding.
In our case, his biological father has completely opted out of his life. He shouldn't have to be the odd one out if there is no bloodline to associate with. We are really at odds about what to do. We really want to change his name.
-atkjenkins
9 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salaam to the best of my knowledge (please correct me if I am wrong) but you should not change a childs last name in order to preserve lineage. I am not sure if this can be compromised or not, you may have to contact a scholar but although it may cause a little confusion with your son it is important he is aware of his lineage and as long as he has a loving father figure and mother then InshaAllah the small detail of his surname won't be a problem. If he asks about his surname and his father try not to make a big deal out of it, be honest, sit him down and tell him. But make sure you remind him that you and your husband love him. Alhumdulilah that he treats him as his own. By changing his surname it is like hiding his lineage - he is less likely to ask and either way he is supposed to know the truth so it is unavoidable. Please note though dear sister, that I am not a scholar - so it may be good for you to contact one as we cannot give fatwas here.
And Allah knows best.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
You should not change his name. He is still his father's son, even if the father is absent. In Islam the biological lineage is very important.
You said you do not want him to be the odd one out. But children do not care about such legalities. They care about being loved, being with parents who spend time with them, treat them well, and raise them right.
Leave his name as it is, and don't worry about any longer. Don't let it be a cause of stress. Just love the kid and that's all you need, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi Alsalam mu Alaikum
Changing childs last name is forbidden in Islam.You must not change his biological father,s name.And they are various hadith on that.
Our prophet(s.a.w)said(one of the greatest lie is to call a person after a man who is not his/her father)Al-Bukhari.
And he also said(s.a.w)(whoever is called after a man who is not his father and knows that,so paradise is forbidden for him)Al-Bukhari and muslim.
And also (s.a.w)said(If anyone makes a false claim to paternity,or being a client of other then his own master .There is upon him the curse of Allah,the angles,and all the people.Allah will not accept form him any recompense in the form of obligatory acts or supererogatory acts on the day of Resurrection)Narrated by muslim
And Allah the Almighty said in the holy Quran(Call them by the (the names) of their fathers,that is juster in the sight of Allah)surah al-Ahzab
This proved that a child must be called with his father,s name whether he is alive or dead and his last name must not be changed. All the legal documents of the child should continue to show his biological father in the parenthood column.keeping his real fathers name will not effect his life since you and your husband are there providing him love,care and shelter.I think that all every child needs.may Allah make him a good and obedient child for you.Ameen
As-salamu alaykum, when you fill out your comment if you don't have a website to put in the URL field, please leave it blank instead of writing SS. I end up having to delete the invalid link each time. Thanks.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Please don't attack me,people.I simply say this because I think I understand the predicament the sister is in.
My sister was divorced. Her daughters father has NEVER seen his daughter. My sister registered her as ------- binti (her biological fathers firstname) -(my sisters surname-not her step fathers) . I don't think there is anything wrong with this,is there?
Hi sister Laa,qah
This is also called changing childs biological fathers name.It does not matter whos name your are keeping because you are still changing her biological fathers name.It is forbidden in Islam to call a child with the name of the person who is not his own father.It is looking like as if you are saying she is not having a father.It does not matter whether he is seeing his daughter or not.At the end he still her real and biological father.Every child is proud to be called with his fathers name.we can change the childs name (only) if we dont know his father or the family witch he belongs to.But when the fathers name is known we must not change it.
As Allah said(call them by(the names)of their fathers,that is juster in the sight of Allah.
And prophet(s.a.w)said(whoever intentionally related himself/herself to someone else instead of their,father paradise is forbidden for him).
so, you can see the rule of Islam on changing a child his biological fathers name.Tell your sister to keep her real fathers name it will not effect her life and what if she ask about her real father?.Tell your sister to show to her daughter the love,compassion,care and shelter.it will be much better for her then changing her fathers name.may Allah bless you.
Okay theres some confusion here I think. Sister Laaiqah said:
My sister registered her as ------- binti (her biological fathers firstname) -(my sisters surname-not her step fathers
She clearly mentions that the fathers name was put down..binti so and so. Her fathers name has been put after the child but the mothers surname has also been put.
So technically speaking, the child has the fathers name next to theirs and lineage can be easily known by that.
Or have I got this wrong? Not saying that what her sister has done is right/wrong - her question would still remain.
Salaam
Aha,thats right.
Atkjenkins, Salaam sister,
As everyone here has told you, its not allowed. You cannot change the surname as that is what reveals his biological father. Lineage is taken very importantly in Islam.
I don't know if you are aware of the story of Zaid (ra), the adopted son of the prophet. Ibn Umar (RA) reported that after the Prophet (saw) freed Zayd ibn Harithah and adopted him, people used to refer to him as Zayd ibn Muhammed until the verse the following verse was revealed,
"Call them by (the names of) their father's, that is more just in the sight of Allah..." (Al-Ahzab 33:5)
Once this principle became part of the divine law, the Prophet (saw) was instructed to further emphasize it by a series of warnings. For example, on one occasion he said,
"He who knowingly attributed his fatherhood to someone other than his real father will be excluded from paradise." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)
I just wanted to emphasis how many of us sisters, who have been divorced and with children, and specially in the case of those whose ex husbands have walked out completely from the child's life, want to remove the surname. I really do understand the urge...I've been there and been tempted myself many a times too, especially when I think of the future and how my daughter might feel like why she is the 'odd' one out , and all these kind of thoughts - im sure you know exactly what I mean.
But ignore them, and remind yourself of what Allah prefers. Consider this as a sacrifice for Allah. We want something but we arent allowed to do it because as Allah says "...that is more just in the sight of Allah." So how can we benefit ourself, or our child, by doing something which goes against Allah (Swt)'s orders?
Its only a surname...its not like the reality of who the father is can be (or should be) hidden, so having the name at the end of theirs - its not like it will cause the child some kind of psychological damage!
By following the orders of Allah and preferring that over what our soul desires, we will attain success and pleasure inshallah.
Was salaam