We got married, and then I found out he is already married after a week
My issue is about polygamy. I am married to a muslim man and I converted on the same day.
In my situation, I didn't know at all before we got married that my husband had a wife and on the process of divorce already. After a week of getting married I just then learned about the 1st wife which surprised me a lot and got me confused with the situation.
His story is that before meeting me, for 3 months he tried to get their marriage back on track and settle their issues, after 3 months, as he tried to fix things and it wasn't working, he gave up, because she's not coming back to him. Then he start searching, then we met. I'm not muslim and really don't have any idea about the religion, but since I love him so much, I took that big step and changed for better and for Him. Then when the 1st wife learned about our marriage she started calling and crying to my husband to bring her back.
For the past 8 months I've spent with my husband she is calling night and day, she is crying and try to win my husband back. We got to the point where I agreed to let her back but I told my husband that I cannot promise that I'll be staying with him for the rest of my life with this set-up, for the fact that I know my self, I cannot lie to my self that this hurts me so much, and never dreamed of sharing my husband with anybody.
I know this sounds selfish, being a Muslim, but I was raised as a Christian, and emotionally I really cannot tolerate this set up. Then things become upside down: one day she will agree the next day she will not agree, she's telling my husband to leave me and bring her back, which our husband won't agree to. Most of the time his 1st wife is the cause of our fights and his threatening of leaving me and going back to her. She is asking for a baby after which she will divorce him. Things are getting worse, and causing too much fights and sometimes threats us to leave each other.
He used to tell me he loves me more than her, and I ask him 'if your telling the truth that you and you 1st wife marriage was finished then prove to me'. I asked for their 3rd legal divorce. Then he answered no problem I'll give you a copy but promise me you will never leave me till we get old. So last week he went to the court for their last legal divorce and Im just waiting for the papers.
I just want to know if I am too selfish and if I displease Allah. That I ask my husband to totally finish their marriage? And secondly, We are married by an Imam and with my husbands family, we have 2 witnessnes but not yet legally married of married lawful, is it acceptable? Do I really have the right over him, in the eyes of Allah?
Please I need clarity, for I am still studying Holy Qur'an and Islam.
Thanks and I appreciate in advance any response.
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