Islamic marriage advice and family advice

We want to get married

muslim couple

Asalamalaikum,

I have found a brother who I feel is someone who I want to marry in shaa Allah. He is kind hearted, knowledgable and most importantly, he reminds me of Allah. We have both talked about marriage seriously numerous times, we want to get married in shaa Allah but the only thing which is stopping us is that he feels he isn't financially stable enough to get married as he knows he must look after his family. I agree with this but at the same time I feel as though we should? Our aim is to get married in shaa Allah and I would like to tell my parents but I'm not sure how to, could anyone give me any advice on this matter? JazakAllah

yas786


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4 Responses »

  1. If he is concerned about his finances, you should simply stop communicating with him. Once he becomes financially capable of supporting his own household, he can come to your family with a proposal. It's really that simple. If he wants to get married but can't right now due to money issues, he should stop communicating with you and focus on his career and saving money for the future. Do not complicate things for yourself.

  2. I know what he is saying but in islam you cannot choose not to marry just because you are not financially stable. All rizk comes from Allah swt and there is no guarantee that anyone will ever be financially stable. On the other hand obviously in this day and age every parent wants someone for their daughters who they can be sure will look after her financially, emotionally etc but like I mentioned all rizk comes from Allah and those who are rich today may not be tomorrow and vice versa. Therefore you should mention this hadith to the brother and try and convince your father accordingly, have you also considered that perhaps he isn't after marriage? It's just a thought but you should break contact until he comes forward with a proposal inshallah

  3. Agreed with Amna on everything. Please consider the possibility that being financially stable may just be an excuse?

    Allah knows best.

    AAZA

  4. Amana got it right. If you both like eachother and feel lik you needto get married, ten go a head.
    Even brothers who cannot afford to rent a house do get married. Many students follow this style untill they get financially stable, and same time they didn't waste their youth, and were protected from Fitnah and Haram life style... For the intimacy part the go hotel or use there parents bed room every now and then. One big shiekh in US was telling his personal story of a marriage like that 🙂 he said those years were the best years of their marriage. So, bottom line is , it is simple if you want to make it simple .. think of it .. it all depends on what are you ready for

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