what do i do? i got a sikh woman pregnant

i feel like i am damned and there is no way back for me. i am a muslim man and was dating this sikh woman for 14 months. i have broken up with her but now she has contacted me saying that she is 6 weeks pregnant and is definitely keeping the baby. I dont know what to do as i am only 21 and still in education. my family will probably disown me if they found out, what do i have to do? marry her? i hate her so much i don’t know if i could do that. i feel like she did this to trap me. someone please help me.

Written by confused09 on January 17th, 2008 with 9 comments.
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Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Zaara
#1. January 24th, 2008, at 6:04 AM.

hiya, definitly not a happy spot to be in!! what does your ex want from you? does she expect you to marry her? or just contribute to the cost of upbringing the child? it is quite a serious issue…why do you hate her so much? i don’t knw how islamic your family is, if they are very practiciing with traditional values than i can understand your dilemma in telling them. What is so repulsive about thsi woman that you hate her? you were equally involved so this child is your responsibility as well. Were you both in a serious relationship witht eh intention of marriage but then things went sour or was this just a uni/college without -any-commitment dating? You have got to take responsibility somewhere, no point marrying her to ruin all three lives, yours hers and the childs but then you should just come clean otherwise you will live in fear and stress that your secret can come out anytime. So what if your family disown you, you have to be ready for this if you are not prepared to marry her and since she has chosent to contact you witht he information it is unlikely she will stay quiet for the rest of her life. Are you dating someone else now? Have some courage to make a decision one way or the other, have a talk with her maybe you both will be able to come to some sort of solution? if she wants to keep the baby she must, anyway abortion is a sin in islam so you must take you rtime, relax and then decide what to do. You have to take some responsibility for your actions, you know this is always a possibilty whenever you get involved in physical relationships. The best solution would always be to get married but if that is impossible then tell her and accept what has happened and come clean. If you really are responsible then you have to take responsiblity one way or the other, don’t run away from it, it must be hard for her aswell…hope this helps..

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com ameena_
#2. March 11th, 2008, at 9:45 AM.

You are a muslim? YOU can not leave your child when you did this to her you should think ? And why she wanna trap you? why ur family will not support you? I thought only in other religions happening this but i can see some people spoiling our religion.. be a man and stand for that child she is not the bad i think u trap her on this… and Nothing it’s impossible get married to her before many people knows talk to ur farther he will help u …
thanks Allah help you

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com new muslim.
#3. May 29th, 2008, at 7:52 AM.

You are a muslim man it doesnt matter about your age you have to contribute in this childs life,then child has the right to have you in there life.I know you have put your self in this postion but now you have to deal with the situation.I know it might seem people are trying to upset you but this is the fact you have to stand up and be a father to your child.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com annas
#4. July 1st, 2008, at 8:15 AM.

hi its a tough situation, what i would do if i hate her so much is that get custody from court when child is born so you can see the child and take her or him out, etc, spend as much time as you can.do your bit as a father. this secret is best if its kept away from your family. it will cause too much heart breaking process. perhaps one day when you marry someone you can then tell your parents. at this time they will be happy you have done something about it as you will be married with a child.
besides this is there any other option?

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#5. July 22nd, 2008, at 11:21 AM.

If u got her pregnant, well it’s zina so hope u know that. As for ur situation i dun see a prob of the sikh girl wanting to have ur child n making u responsible for it. It takes 2 hands to clap and she didn’t get preg unless both of u were irresponsible and had zero regards for religious values. So be a man n suck in ur mistakes. Take responsiblility for ur own child. If religion prevents u from marrying her (which is want u dun want happening) then u are still legally bound to care for the child, financially n socially. I despise men u impregnant women and then take no responsibility for their sexual acts, and try to pretend as tho they did nothing wrong. Men like u should very well be live a condemned life.

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#6. August 19th, 2008, at 7:43 AM.

Assalamualaikum brother,
you can always find out thru dna if the baby yours. And when you do, take responsibility. You did something wrong. Dont deny a child the right to parentage. If you choose to walk away(even after knowing the truth), you will regret it later and it might be too late.
Hope this helps

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#7. August 19th, 2008, at 3:19 PM.

asalamualaikum brother,
There are ways to know if the baby is yours. And when you found out the truth, take responsibility. Accept her. There are ppl who are young, married with kids and still in school. Its Allah you should be afraid of. Try reasoning with ur parents and im sure they will be proud that you willing to admit the wrong that you had done and take action.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com nisaar
#8. September 2nd, 2008, at 10:59 PM.

SalaamuAlaikum….. you had liked this girl for 1 year and 2 months…you must have thought her attractive and likeable…you took advantage of a moment of weakness on both your parts and forgot that as a Muslim ,that girl’s honour was your responsibility to protect…you’re now responsible for the sanctity of both their lives or the destruction of both their lives.
Please seek the advise of a respected and knowledgeable Sheikh because since the moment of conception…which is directly Allah’s decision…this matter is not your parent’s decision …..but yours…and your responsibility to Allah.
Please do not be a coward and destroy three lives and more…for she has a family too….You’ll suffer forever if you do this INJUSTICE…AllahHaafiz

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com sam
#9. October 4th, 2008, at 3:33 AM.

if u aww this child or not ye tum se betar koi nai janta so if u did it then u have to accept it

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