Why do we fall in Love? Will the ones who betray be punished by Allah?
Boys who betray the girls in the name of love
daily i checked this site...there are lots of problems have been discussed n solved.i ..i think da team of islamic answers is doin brilliant job..helpin pplz problems...
i have seen in this site every another case in site is abt love,boyfrnd, want to get married, betrayal, cheating, ,zina.. so ppl r so depress,lonely,thinkin of suicide..faith is getting weak in islam...
i dnt knw y dis is happenin...y diz problem is gettin so much common?? m also one of this who was trapped in this case..but now my case is same lyk feelin lonely..depress..but ALLAHAMDULIAH as my bro Mohammad Waseem suggest me adviced me..and m trying to fyt wid myself...to obey ALLAH SWT ...
i had question tht if person lyks any1 want to marry..as there is permission in islam to get married by their choice..as love marriage.. why boys r hurting so much? y they r playin wid feelin n lives..they dnt feel mercy at girls life?? why they r destroyin them? some of them got trapped in fake love n loose their virginty and some of them havin miserable life bcoz of betrayal..cheating.. alone ..stressed..mentally tortured etc..
will ALLAH punish those guys who destroyed n ruin the lives of girls? will they realized wt gunnah (Meaning: Sin) they did..? will they punish in this world? i have seen many cases of boys who played wid girl's lyf..cheated lied n then they just kick them frm their life n still they r happily married wid choice of their girl..feelin no regret...
if one girl's heart is broken n she is in pain..bcoz of her pain da whole family got disturbed..will there any affect of badua (Meaning: Imprecation/Curse) at those guys..??
2nd question is tht if ppl who lyk each other n fall in love n do da haram things lyk kissin..hugging..touchin each others private body parts..and after tht they get married..and lived happily.. i mean hw is dis possible..how ALLAH accepts their duas? i mean they were in haram relationship..commiting haram actions? disobeyin ALLAH..? how can dis happens..will ALLAH not punish them 4 wt they did...??
i had lots of confusion ...there is no concept of bf gf in islam but as our elders say couples are made in heaven..is it ALLAH'S will tht they involve in bf n gf relation n after tht get married.. ??? and if person is in love wid some1 truly what dua should we do...?? if love is lyk frm one side? sometimes it feel ALLAH is not listenin us..but we also knw diz tht Dua can change qadar ryt....then wht dua should i askd ALLAh to marry him...?
plz let me all da answers in light of islam ....these questions r irritating me...
coz im suffering frm dis problem of being in love..sad..depressed..
~ sweety180
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Salam Sister,
I am not a scholar and my knowledge of Islam is not that wide. Otherwise I have learnt so much through this website and it helped me see my entire life from a different perspective. I am still not the Muslimah I wish to be, but I am working on myself.
Now to your questions. Why worry about those guys' punishment? All you should focus about is you and YOURSELF only. Make sure you are happy with you and your Deen and wish them happiness. Pray to Allah (S.W) to forgive your sins and THEIRS too. It will make you feel better and will bring you more blessings. Unlike most of the people here, I have grown up talking to guys in my everyday life, never knew it was haram. And most of the people I know are in bf/gf relationships (they are not muslim since Islam is not the main religion were I am from). What I have noticed is people always end up being unhappy in this kind of relationship and I have been through that too. Then, I once read an article that helped me see things from another side and it brought me so much relief. Here is the link to the article. you can copy and paste it in your browser.
http://www.purematrimony.com/blog/2012/06/the-mindless-dating-game-happiness-or-heartbreak/
There is a reason why God freed you from this relationship. Because it leads to zina and take you away from your Deen. You're feeling those bad feelings, depression because of Shaytaan so don't let this liar blind you! Be happy, look at the bright side of life and don't worry, Allah (S.W) is listening and He knows what is best for you. Few years from now, you will think about and smile and Thank Allah (S.W) for getting you out of this. I am not talking to make you feel better, I am talking out of experience. I was there too and now I feel like this is the biggest blessing I have had throughout my life. Ask yourself, do you want to share your life with a man who goes around with girls and break their heart? I doubt so.. So take it easy, smile at life and wait for THE Man Allah (S.W) has in stores for you.
There is a quote I love "Don't be a woman who needs a man, be THE woman a man needs". I hope and pray you may find comfort and peace. May God bless you and forgive your mistakes and May your Iman grow stronger 🙂
Beggingfor forgiveness,
such a wonderful responce, MashAllah. We should always frame every situation in our lives in one question 'In FIVE yeas will this matter?'. Most of the things wont matter.
It always gets easier.
Allah's peace and blessings be upon you.
personally am going through a hard time at the moment as well from a wrong relationship matter , but your right u feel like it is the end of the world, when really maybe this is the beginning of a much better world. Love is hard and sometimes u feel you cant live without this person. But time heals everything and sooner u will see that this the better.
This is so true..I have been going through this in the recent past..by allahs' grace I was saved from a relation which I consider now as a blessing...if Allah has done something.. It's for your good only....
I tried opening the link.. It didnt open.. Can u plz send the correct link again..
Excellent reply. Yes. Never being sad about the one who doesn't deserve to you. Allah always has his right choice for you
thank u for reading my post..beggingforforgiveness very well said...thts all true..but my confusions r still not cleared n answered yet...
still waitin for more advices n responses to clear my doubts...in da lyt of quran n hadith...
thank u....
As Salamu'alaikum,
Sister, liking people the opposite sex (or feeling attracted to them) is natural. It is the very nature of a Human Being that he or she feels attracted to a member of the opposite sex (when the Imaan is low).
What differentiates a pious Muslim from others is that a Muslim controls oneself and does not let this feeling cross the boundaries set by Allah. If he or she intends marriage, then it is taken forward in a Halaal way.
Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said in a Hadith that it is best for who love, to get married.
Sometimes these pious Muslims fall prey to the trap of the Shaitaan, who induces them to cross the boundaries set by Allah. The people who have no concern about the laws of Allah, they do not see any boundary.
The laws of Allah are for our good. We do not understand them and we think they are so stringent and it is difficult to abide by them. They are the best rules we can have.
Mistakes do happen, but that does not end one's life, does it? One should immediately seek Allah's Forgiveness, because Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam has said:
“Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
There's another beautiful Hadith Narrated: Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah say: Allah the Almighty has said: "O son of adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its." related by Al-Tirmithi, who said that it was a good and sound Hadith.
Subhanallah! Allah is full of Mercy. Indeed, His Mercy overpowers His Wrath.
In another place, Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said:
I know the last of the dwellers of Hell to come out and the last of the people of Paradise to enter. He is a man who would be brought before Allah on the Day of Resurrection. Then Allah will command the angels: ask him about the minor sins and hide the major ones. Then it will be said to him: On such and such day you did that and that sin; and on such and such day you committed that and that bad deed. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) added: It will be said to him: In place of every evil deed, you will be granted one good deed. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) continued. The sinner would say: My Lord! I have done things which I do not find here. The narrator said: Indeed I saw the Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) of Allah laugh until his premolar teeth were visible. (because the sinner was frogiven.) (This Hadith is sound and reported by Tirmidhi).
People fall in "love" because they do not set limits to the feelings. They do not control their selves when they have to. Allah tests believers through such situations. It is very difficult to come over it when the deen is low (The Deen actually increases and decreases). And when one develops a feeling, it is difficult to get over it and forget the person. It is just lie slavery. A person who loves the other (in relationships that are haraam) then they become slaves to each other. Their prime objective becomes to please the other, even at the cost of Allah's Anger.
This is one of the most dangerous traps of the Shaitaan. It makes a person crazy and enslaved. The extent of this is that they even start indirectly worshiping each other.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa:
Love is a psychological sickness, and if it grows strong it affects the body, and becomes a physical sickness, either as diseases of the brain, which are said to be diseases caused by waswaas, or diseases of the body such as weakness, emaciation and so on.
Loving a non-mahram woman leads to many negative consequences, the full extent of which is known only to the Lord of people. It is a sickness that affects the religious commitment of the sufferer, then it may also affect his mind and body.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (147):
If the cause happens by his choice, he has no excuse for the consequences that are beyond his control, but if the reason is haraam, the drunkard had no excuse. Undoubtedly following one glance with another and allowing oneself to keep thinking about the person is like drinking intoxicants: he is to be blamed for the cause.
How can one save oneself from it?
Being dutiful to Allah, praying all 5 and doing regular Adhkaar, keeping one's heart conscious of Allah - being aware that Allah Is Watching and one day, He Will Question us all. This way, the feeling toward the opposite sex will be quite weak. Anyway, for sure, Shaitaan is very weak. Allah said in Surah an Nisa, Aayah 76:
....Ever feeble indeed is the plot of Shaitan (Satan)
We have been given enough strength to fight the Shaitaan, but we don't realize it and fall prey to his futile promises. On the day of Resurrection, Shaitaan will say that he is free from all that he called to.
Allah said in Surah Ibrahim:
22. And Shaitan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: "Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)."
23. And those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah and His Messengers and whatever they brought) and did righteous deeds, will be made to enter Gardens under which rivers flow, - to dwell therein forever (i.e.in Paradise), with the permission of their Lord. Their greeting therein will be: Salam (peace!) .
So, we should keep away from the traps of Shaitaan, as far as possible.
Now, for the punishment part. Whether Allah punishes someone or not, it is His Wish. We have no say in it, whatsoever. So, we should avoid speaking about this matter. Additionally, if anyone forgets whatever has happened and moves ahead, it is better for him/her. One should not be worried about the person concerned being punished or not. His or her affair will be taken care by Allah - The Lord of all that exists.
Narrated: Abu Dhar: Allah's Messenger said that Allah said: He who comes with a good deed, its reward will be ten like that or even more. And he who comes with vice, his reward will be only one like that, or I can forgive him. He who draws close to Me a hand's span, I will draw close to him an arm's length. And whoever draws near Me an arm's length, I will draw near him a fathom's length. And whoever comes to Me walking, I will go to him running. And whoever faces Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, I will meet him with forgiveness nearly as great as that, provided he does not worship something with me. (This Hadith is sound and reported by Muslim, Ibn Majah and Ahmad in his Musnad). Another prophetic tradition says: (He who met Allah associating anything with Him, will enter Hell) (Muslim)
And Allah Knows Best
May Allah enable us to fight the Shaitaan and succeed in the fight
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I forgot to paste this:
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/133):
If he is tested with love but he remains chaste and is patient, then he will be rewarded for fearing Allaah. It is known from shar’i evidence that if a person remains chaste and avoids haraam things in looking, word and deeds, and he keeps quiet about it and does not speak of it, so that there will be haraam talk about that, whether by complaining to another person or committing evil openly, or pursuing the beloved one in any way, and he is patient in obeying Allaah and avoiding sin, despite the pain of love that he feels in his heart, just as one who is afflicted with a calamity bears the pain of it with patience, then he will be one of those who fear Allaah and are patient, “Verily, he who fears Allaah with obedience to Him (by abstaining from sins and evil deeds, and by performing righteous good deeds), and is patient, then surely, Allaah makes not the reward of the Muhsinoon (good‑doers) to be lost” [Yoosuf 12:90].
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Then Allah will command the angels: ask him about the minor sins and hide the major ones
AllahuAkbar!
SubhanAllah
My eyes were in tears when i read this line.
Salaam - I began writing this earlier but didnt get time to finish so Im pasting it here now:
Why is this problem getting so common?
My opinion is that people are either not aware of the importance of prper Islamic gender relations. (Not being alone, not having close male friends etc.) Or people simply do not care. This is a very complex issue that I am not able to address, there are many reasons why people fall into this some are problems we have as an ummah and some are problems we have individually ourselves.
I think it boils down to this: we are not following the Qur’an and Sunnah – or we are only following some parts of it and leaving out other parts. If we did follow it we would be liberated – we would have a relationship with Allah (Swt) and have taqwa. We wouldn’t allow ourselves to get into situations which led to falling in love outside the limits Allah has set. If the seed got planted (which it can do – from a look or a word) we wouldn’t water that seed and let it grow.
Parents and family would also not place hundreds of obstacles in the way to marriage which are not Islamic. When parents reject a good Muslim for their child soley on the basis of their race – this is not Islamic.
Hadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption". (Tirmidhi)
Also the society we live in as well promotes pre-marital relationships – there are many desires and temptations out there. I am not just talking about sex either I am talking about the typical “love ideal.” If you think of all the Disney movies – there are all girls who are waiting to be 'saved' by their prince. These movies talk nothing about compatibility and finding someone with good virtues qualities rather it's 'handsome' and 'someone who loves me'. So from a young age we are led to believe this is the norm. Even some little girls dream about being 'swept away'.
So there are many reasons.
Why boys are hurting so much?
I think its best placed if a male answers that. But the truth is it really doesn't matter why they do it. They just do. Ultimately we as women can give them the key. Also realise as well that men are not monogamous in the same way women are. If a man can get lots of girls and does not have that fear of Allah in his heart - or at the very least some basic decency he can and probably will.
So its down to the girls to decide what they are willing to give. I mean imagine you brought a beautiful car after saving for years and years. Would you give a stranger the key to it? And if you did could you blame him if he stole it/crashed it/ruined it in some way. Likewise its so important for girls to not put themselves in situations where they could be taken advantage of. Not all guys are like that - there are many who are nice, pious and decent. But there are some that will use and abuse and some that are plain dangerous.
Its not always easy to tell the nice from the not so nice especially not at face value. Protect yourself. Not just your body but your heart as well (and your money). We always forget our heart. So I cant answer why guys do this - I've never set out to break someones heart and I hate the idea of using and abusing so I dont know.
But again it doesnt matter - just know what to do to avoid being used.
Follow Allahs laws. Dont ever meet alone with a guy who is non mahram. Avoid close friendships or unecessary chatter with them. Lower your gaze. All of these help.
Will ALLAH punish those guys who destroyed n ruin the lives of girls?
That is a matter that is with Allah swt alone. No human being can answer that with surety. What we can be sure of is that Allah (swt) punishes whomever He wills and He is The Just. He will punish those who are deserving of the punishment.
Be aware that this life is not fair sister. Murderers get away with murder - the good people are more likely to be oppressed and in hardship. The bad people who lie cheat and abuse are more likely to be rich and living the high life. Is that fair?
No it's not. Yet Allah is the Most Just.
So keep this in mind: there is no true justice without the afterlife.
Those that have wronged others will be held accountable on the day of judgement. Even small little things will not be overlooked. If you said a harsh word to someone. The wrongdoer has to give a portion of good deeds to the one he wronged. Nothing is hidden.
At the same time these girls should not waste time thinking about whether he is getting punished or not. It doesnt matter and it doesnt affect them. They should be concentrating on themselves. It should be sufficient enough for them to know Allah sees all and if they have been wronged they will be recompensed in some way. But it is Allah who knows whether or not someone has truly been wronged.
If they have sinned by zina of some sort - the girl is also sinful. Even if the guy used her - if she was a willing participant she has done a big sin too! This must not be overlooked. Some people blame the guy - but it takes two to tango. Any sort of premarital haram relationship is wrong and in this case the girl must acknowledge she has committed a sin and make tawbah and vow to keep away from such haram in the future.
The other questions: what is boils down to is perception. Just because someone is having fun/enjoying this life doesnt mean they will enjoy the next. A good marriage may be a blessing or a curse. It depends on whether it brings you towards Allah or away from Him.
If a couple did zina and then married they would need to do tawbah
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam Sara,
This is amazing. You did such a great job answering every question of her. May God reward you for your time. This made me smile.
Asslam alekum wa rahmatullahi barkatohu
You said don't give car to stranger ,but in reality we have to give a car to stranger either because of love marriage or arrange marriage. in Islam we don't have a option to talk to the spouse if u say u talk to the spouse is permissible but no one wants only they complete the procedure give 5 to 10 min talk and say now don't meet or talk to each other only after nikaah, means family not really wants they give limited time or a single meeting and ask for confirmation is u want to married or not. in that minimum time how the spouse believed that I give this person to my car. some of people agree and blindly accept the proposal to believe on our family. not think about anything and after some time try to adjust our self if some people done this then there marriage is remains and if this thing is not happen then relation is breaks.
Yes I know that I am here may be totally wrong, I don't know what to do in this condition.
Rabbi ziddni illman (O Allah, Advance me in knowledge)
I am not sure exactly what you are trying to say if I am honest. That parents don't give enough time. It's difficult because what exactly is enough time? If you give too much (like some parents do) it can lead to them getting too friendly or an emotional relationship which you don't want.
But a single meeting is not sufficient. You cannot just blindly accept a proposal. I am beginning to understand it's much more complicated than that but do realise that you do have a right to get to know your spouse within Islamic boundaries for enough time to determine compatibility.
I think the best thing to do is to seek Allah's guidance. No one knows the truth except Him. Two people may seem completely compatible but we cannot predict the future - there is no one formula fits all. Seek Allahs guidance and put your trust in Him and ask Him for what is best for you.
If you have any further questions do please submit a post
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum sister Sara..Can you please help me heal from the heart break by suggesting the solution? My story is same as discussed here exceot the fact that he is my cousin's son and he tried convincing his parents for years. He is 5years younger than me . Now he is getting married in few months to some girl of his parent's choice. He is satisfied with everything may be he wasn't that emotionally invested. I'm very restless since the day he got his proposal. I just want peace in my life. I want my mind to stop thinking about all the favours he would give his rightful wife that I always yearned for. He said he want to get married soon and he don't want to delay. I waited for him for 8 years . I'm 31yrs old, me and my mother used to think that I will get to marry him eventually..my parents are searching for proposals since 4years but no one ever came to see me in real. I had no courage to leave him..may be because I was physically involved..not zina but it was no less I feel..whatever it is..I just want to heal and be strong..my family will be invited for his wedding..I have no courage..please say something that can help me heal..
Asalamualaykum Sister Saba,
You are still young at 31 and have plenty of time. Do not feel pressured, and just do your best to find someone using any and all means. I wouldn't recommend that you go to your cousin's son's wedding. Let your parents go, but you are too emotionally involved and don't owe him anything. In sha Allah you will find someone better and more suitable for you in the near future.
Hugs,
Nor
IslamicAnswers
sara what a nice response,mashallah.
Sister Sara's answer was the best here I think. I really liked the new car/ giving a stranger the keys analogy.
Ditto! I loved the car analogy too. Well done Sara :O).
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
thnx sister sara n bro waseem..for an excellent response..
Excellent job...I'm really impressed
salam,,,sister i want to ask some personal question so do u have any email,where i can get help from you in the light of islam,,, thanks
sidra, you can register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asslam alekum wa rahmatullahi barkatohu
I want to know that what Islam says about those people who betray his first love and marry with some other woman.I know my one friend,who is in severe mental trauma and using pills of dipression.
After putting her in seven years of emotional relationship.. and He went abroad ,married there and settled And that poor girl was waited a long without knowing it? he married someone and forgot her.When she listen this news she was in trauma ,meanwhile she rejected so many marriage propsal for him and wait for six years,
and she begged him from Allah in his namaz. There was no haram relationship between these
two person ,
Please reply
Wa Alaikum as Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
There is nothing called 'first love' in Islam. People may feel they like someone, but it may not be true always.
Your friend was in a relationship that was haraam and her waiting was not based on an obligation of marriage. This man was wrong in remaining in contact with her and being with her for 6 years if he did not want to marry her.
Your friend now has nothing to do but forget this man and move ahead in life. This man made another woman halal for himself while his relationship with your friend in the past was not halal.
May Allah Help your friend cope with this and move ahead in life upon the deen.
If you need further advise, please login and submit your question separately.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you sir,
Sir please clear one thing in the light of islam,My friend is God fearing and she never met that
man in this six years before his marriage they shows only feelings for each other because
they are neighbour. Their whole trust was based on only they saw each other ,Is this event was
haram in the eye of islam.
Now she is very upset what ALLAH will punish her.
She wants to forget her but that man used to come his house as becuause he is neighbour of her
and try to behave in old way inspite of that he is married.
She prays to allah ,please change everthing and give me guidance of islam.
I want clear misconceptions regarding all these problems.
It so happens that people like each other when they see each other frequently and like their character, their deen and decide to take a proposal forward. This is fine as per Islam as far as my belief is.
The words you used made it seem more than just seeing each other: "years of emotional relationship.. and He went abroad ,married there and settled And that poor girl was waited a long without knowing it?"
The words: " rejected so many marriage propsal for him and wait for six years" indicate that their was a promise, express or implied between them or your friend misunderstood at some point, Allah Knows Best.
Your concern is that your frined is God-Fearing and wants to know if she has done wrong. I can not answer this because I do not know the matter completely and there are different possibilities. The best thing is to seek Allah's Forgiveness and move ahead in life by getting closer to Allah.
Now that this man married another woman, she must forget him (I know it is difficult) and go a different way. I know a person who is God-Fearing but was depressed because a girl rejected his proposal. This happens, but we can not take the baggage of our past into the future. We need to leave it behind in order to start afresh. No matter who betrays us, Allah is always with us and He Forgives our sins if we do tawbah.
If your friend wants some words of advise from our readers and commenters, ask her to go through the following link and submit a post to us so that we can publish it for her in its turn, in sha Allah:
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASAK
saima, please log in and write your question as a separate post, and we will advise you in turn Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Assalamu alaykum
I too fell into this situation and hurt a muslimah who didn't deserve to be put through all of the emotional wreck my actions brought. We started our relationship wrong (haram) but I intended to marry her due to my parents disagreement I ended up hurting her very badly. I regret my actions but mostly regret what I did to her. She forgave me for my actions but I still feel despicable towards myself I make dua for her all the time. Any advice would be appreciated especially from a girls point of view.
Assalam alaikum,
Since you are a brother and would have easier access to communicating with our Muslim Brothers, then kindly please encourage your Muslim brothers to marry the girl that they feel attraction towards by following Islamic etiquette and adab, rather than take steps to date her and the not follow through with marriage.
Inn shaa Allah, we sisters will do our part too by telling them to not entertain the idea of dating and meeting non-Mahrams in secret.
May Allah guide and protect the youth of this Ummah, Ameen.
Alhumdulillah, you have realized your mistake. May Allah shower His Mercy on you and give you many opportunities to prevent others in not repeating such errors, Ameen.
Why did you hurt her Muhammad?
How could your parents force you to marry someone else?
And how did she forgive you after you broke her?
Because I was stupid & my parents didn't force they said their opinion and I made the choice in the end which parent wouldn't want their child to be happy. She forgave me because she's a big hearted person and believes in forgiveness towards others. In any case I don't know whether it was the right thing, I keep saying at least I'm not disobeying Allah but doesn't make it any easier or better
I really wonder how that woman has forgiven you
And Muhammad you are lucky that she has coz the dua of the oppressed is always answered
You promised her and made commitment with her
You betrayed her trust and your word
How do you think that's fair?
Why do men use their parents excuse in the end after screwing up a girls life?
What you have done to her is an extreme act of cowardice
I have been in a similar situation
I'm not able to forgive the predator for betraying my trust and cheating on me
All I pray for is my forgiveness from Allah SWT
Although forgiving my oppressor is better for me
But at the moment I cant
I pray to Allah for my justice coz only Allah SWT can give it best
Nothing that man can ever say to me or do for me now can reverse the pain he has caused me
No apology will be of any use
I rest my case to Allah SWT for His best judgment
Coz Allah SWT sees all and hears all and He SWT is with the one who has been wronged
Muslimah i can understand your condition...same like me...seriously such a crul person they are who hurt others and play with others life and feelings...! involves girls and left them with scars... no body can feel your pain, evrybody will say you forget him..forgive him and move on... they can easily say this cuz they are not suffering your pain..only the person having aches knows and Allah knows Who is near to your jugular vein.... so tell HIM evrything what u feel n u want..He is your Creator..He loves you n He knows you..HE will do what will best for you... put your evrything on ALLAH n relay upon Him...!
i have a question wanna ask personally..
Salaams,
Log in and submit a post. It will be answered in about a month, in shaa Allah. Most every question sent to us is personal, and everyone remains anonymous. We do not answer questions privately, but we can keep your post private if you prefer.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I want to know before marriage I wasn't indulged in any sort of relationship with anyone.
zaibi, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and give us more details about the situation, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu alaikum,
Dear brothers and sisters,
I have been accused by a girl, she cheated me saying - she loves me and wanted to marry me, she been waiting for 6 years to marry him. she trapped me and slept with me for her 6 days. I am not eager to have a sex with a girl. Her family accepted the proposal and I was so happy. I was truly loving this girl but later we came to know that she has an affair with some other guy, we came to know this when my mother is been stopped from doing engagement when her family delaying it..
we also came to know from her friend saying - she has a personal phone with her were she use to speak with him and speak to me from her home phone.. she completed cheated me.
Hence would like to know - ' will Allah SWT answer my prayer badua Will Allah punish her ' - because I can't hold myself - I have been betrayed and hurted so much. Feeling to kill her the way she talks to me over the phone and cheated me.. Please I am crying while I was typing this message . please email me at ***
S Mohammed, no one trapped you. You made choices and you committed sins just as she did. Of course Allah will hold her responsible for her actions, just as He will do with you as well. Forget these thoughts of revenge. Cut off your contact with the girl completely and do your best to forget her. If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I think many people here have not yet read in Quran (Koran) that Allah will forgive all sins related to him like Namaz (Prayers), Rozas, Etc. But if someone hurts someone else, Allah will ask the person who got hurt if he/she can forget the guilty person and if the person answers NO, the guilty person will be punished justly. And I believe punishment of this world is far less than the punishments of judgement day.
Hope this will make all people feel a lot better who got heart by someone.
Please all read it in Quran and please don't spread the view that Allah will not punish someone who intentionally destroys others' lives just because that person is repenting after destroying many lives? Allah is very caring about us and those who hurt us badly will not be forgiven without asking us first.
If you think I am wrong, please feel free to correct me but please first check the details in Quran (Koran) and then reply.
Thank you!
Assalam alaikum,
Please read the following:
The man that killed 100 people had NO such chance to ask forgiveness from those 100 people for obvious reasons. So, therefore, you reasoning that a person will ONLY be forgiven if the person themselves forgives and that this is somehow greater than the authority of Allah swt, is incorrect. Allah knows best.
You have mentioned some that people have not yet the Quran, let us not be hasty in this matter and if you have proof of your belief, it is best you provide that Ayah here, otherwise, spreading this falsehood, isn't wise, Allah knows best.
Finally, we cannot say that so and so will most definitely NOT be forgiven by Allah swt. This is a grave statement and it is best to avoid it.
Allah swt says in the Quran [5:116-120]
And [beware the Day] when Allah will say, "O Jesus, Son of Mary, did you say to the people, 'Take me and my mother as deities besides Allah ?'" He will say, "Exalted are You! It was not for me to say that to which I have no right. If I had said it, You would have known it. You know what is within myself, and I do not know what is within Yourself. Indeed, it is You who is Knower of the unseen.
I said not to them except what You commanded me - to worship Allah , my Lord and your Lord. And I was a witness over them as long as I was among them; but when You took me up, You were the Observer over them, and You are, over all things, Witness.
If You should punish them - indeed they are Your servants; but if You forgive them - indeed it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.
Allah will say, "This is the Day when the truthful will benefit from their truthfulness." For them are gardens [in Paradise] beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever, Allah being pleased with them, and they with Him. That is the great attainment.
To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth and whatever is within them. And He is over all things competent.
If Prophet Jesus, peace be upon him, says that If you punish them, indeed they are Your servants and if You forgive them, indeed it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise, how can we, mere people make a statement for Allah swt. And this statement was made after Allah swt asked Prophet Jesus, peace be upon him, if he had asked the people to worship him and his mother--this question was regarding the worst sin which is shirk--you can't compare anything else to this, certainly not hurting another human being. Tawheed, belief in Allah and Him alone, is critical for our souls.
So, we should, when we are hurt, know that Allah is the sole Owner of this world, the heavens, the earth, us, our souls....each and everthing. He is over all things competent. How can we not attain peace in knowing that we are in the Most Just hands? Would not Allah swt bring justice to each of us? And, sometimes justice may be something to be feared, because if Jannah was to be attained on merit alone, perhaps not many would make it. We, not only believe in the justice of Allah swt, His Wrath, but also His Mercy.
your post made me so calm... yes only He knows what we are suffering ....!
I know we (girls ) need to start being aware and stuff these days bots find it easy to trap girls and use them don't they know that we have a life aswell
Allah is awl knowing ..... !
Layla, I don't know what to do also cuz I've been betrayed consecutively by 2 girls and their families cuz I have no money. They loved me at first but later were brainwashed by their families. I'm looking for a woman whom I can trust please, I promise to give the best I could to live with her in Islamic way after marriage. I don't want to commit zina that's why I am looking for the rightful wife.
Before growing feelings for a girl, first see if her parents will approve of you before investing in time with the girl. It saves heartache. It happened to you twice, so be careful next time.
Hi... Asaalamu alaikum to all.. I am a non Muslim girl but I am heartily agree to convert in Islam bcz I am in love with a Muslim guy that was first reason, After i realised each day I was interestly learned abut Islam so my 7yrs love also became strong and everyone known. Now from last 2months he said my mom wish only my wish so u c ur life with another one r be alone pls let me to live a life with another one as my mom wish like without heart he s avoiding me... Really I don't know how he was changed I can't believe that thing. I ever thought one who in Islam and believing Allah will say lie r do wrong.? He knew well he did was wrong and 7yrs my life gone.. Now also am praying Allah to c my tears and accept me as his child and return my life back will Allah accept me? will Allah hears my word? Am saying frankly really I realized Allah's blessing in my life but suddenly this was happened y how? Pls add me in ur dua's and pray for me am eagerly waiting to c the Islamic world by Allah's grace pls...r I should die naturally bcz I can't forget my 7yes life and I am heartly taken Islam...
yes allah will accept you allah tells in the quran that "do not despair the life giving mercy of god " he forgives everything if you do taubah(repentance).
Assalam Wallaikum wa rehamathullai wa Barkaathu
I loved a muslim boy did everythin possible wat i could. It was a relationship of 3 yrs . I loved him with all my heart obeyed him trusted him.. By the grace of ALLAH (SWT) he also was gud 2 me. In his house all of them agreed n accepted me .. But nw all of a sudden his mother started seeing proposals and he 2 agreed 2 get married.. I cried.. Begged litreally fell his feet but he says he cant go against his mother.. Physically mentally im attached 2 him.. I feel very lonely.. betrayed.. Dont knw wat 2 do .. Im in a very big termoil
Plzz give me a good support n advice so tat i can follow the path of ALLAH (SWT)
AMEEN
SUMM AMEEN
you say you want to follow the path of allah, as sad as it is, you cannot do anything, if he has made up his mind of marriage, you will have to accept this and move on. trust that allah has taken him out of your life for a reason
Assalam o alikum!
I have been through this too.i know it was my mistake giving my car keys to a complete stranger.may Allah forgive me. but my question is, the one who was being trusted with the car,had some moral duty to fulfil the trust. Everyone everywhere only blame the girls for the wrong that was done.both the girl and the boy take part equally in it and mostly its the boy(if not mostly,at least in my case) who takes the initiative. But there is no one who would blame a guy that he has done a WRONG thing too, and he had no right of doing that.
As sister Sarah mentioned,we should only think about ourselves..but at least it will give all of us sufferers a bit of peace that the one who wronged us,will get his share,in this world or in the hereafter. ameen
What if a girl betrays a boy ? when he expressed his feelings after long time. After gathering that much strength and courage. Like she rejected him after she found out that "the guys really loves her". For Whom he waited so much of years for her. For Whom that girl used to be like whole world for him. ?? Because his feelings for her was so pure and he didnot had any wrong intention. Why why whyyy. Why girls of nowadays take boys for granted. To pass time. Otherwise this wouldn't have been the case.
We don't have girlfriends and boyfriends in Islam in any case. And a girl who is not your wife is not required to return your feelings or affection. You have no claim on her.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum BR. Wael
I have a doubt regarding one problem.
Can I ask you?
Salam,
I agree with Wael that you have no claim on her. Now image that girl that you really love, well her mother really loves you. Likes that you're young and wishes that she could be married to you. And after a few years from now she finally gets the courage to ask you. Would you be guilty of so heartlessly rejecting her mother? Just because she's older and not as good looking as her daughter? Shouldn't you get some kind of punishment? What if her grandmother and her great grand mother showed similar interest in you? They loved you deeply and finally confessed and you reject them and called them old. How cruel and heartless of you.
So anyway, if you were right then prophet Yusuf (pbuh) would also be guilty:
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https://quran.com/12/31-32
So when she heard of their scheming, she sent for them and prepared for them a banquet and gave each one of them a knife and said [to Joseph], "Come out before them." And when they saw him, they greatly admired him and cut their hands and said, "Perfect is Allah ! This is not a man; this is none but a noble angel."
She said, "That is the one about whom you blamed me. And I certainly sought to seduce him, but he firmly refused; and if he will not do what I order him, he will surely be imprisoned and will be of those debased."
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I was in a relationship i wanted to marry her.. she was also muslim. But unfortunately her marriage fixed with someone else
N thanks to Allah i failed in my exams too and it is not only exam to me but it was my life to become a doctor . I m completely broken. Why Allah do this. Even i pray 3 times per day
I always make dua but nothing happens
Now i m a athiest
Nisar, it was not Allah who caused you to fail your exams. If you had studied more you probably would have passed. And it was not Allah who caused the woman you desired to marry someone else. That was a choice that she made. Do not blame Allah for the choices of human beings. Instead, seek to find a way to fulfill your dreams and goals, and do not give up. You can ask Allah to aid you, but you must do the work as well.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thanks..
this is something crazy!!.... BR. Nisar.
Believe in your destiny. She wouldn't be good for your future and Allah knows what is best for us though we hate it.