How to convince my Christian wife to accept Islam?
Assalam O Alaikum,
I am Sunni Muslim from India. In the year 2008 April I married to Baptist Christian girl secretly in Mosque without informing our family members in presence of an Imam and my friends as witness and wakil according to the Islamic Law with the girl’s wish. At that time I explained her about Islam and told her the difference between Christians and Muslims and she believed at that time. And we lived separately in our houses for 6 months, due to much problems in October 2008 I brought her with me and we lived separately. We married secretly because we wanted to convince our family members and do the marriage again with their wish publicly. I went to her house and spoke with their parents and also told my family members and one of my mother’s sister know about the marriage as my mother expired in 2006 and father also left me and my mother when I am 7 Months old and my uncles, grandmother, mother’s sister and my mother brought me up. For that reason I don’t want to hurt them so I want to convince them and bring her home that is why I kept everything secret. But unfortunately by the pressure in my wife’s home I brought her back to my house and my family members told me to leave and we lived separately. After a month I convinced my family members and once again did Nikah and Walima Publicly by calling everybody. And her parents were also accepting of our relationship.
Everything is going great until Dec’2009; unfortunately, my wife met with two Christians who converted from Islam to Christianity and I also met with them and spoke with them and they told some stories which no one will believe. I told them that they are Muslims by name and don’t know exact meaning of Islam and came back without arguing with them. From that time (previously also my wife’s mother used to force and fight with her about Christian religion why she change all those things, but she never reacted that much) after meeting with these two people she changed completely and told me that she did wrong by changing her religion and she don’t want to continue. She says that Jesus is God and Christianity is the right religion that leads to God. She also said that she doesn't find that Islam is the perfect religion and she will reach paradise if she follows it. On this issue We fought so many times and again I explained to her, but she is not at all convinced. I am getting mad and not understanding what to do? I did not allow her to go to church and I forcibly made her to stay in Islam, but I know this is completely wrong as Islam doesn’t allow us to force anyone to accept Islam. I do not understand what to do and sometimes I am getting completely out of control and scolding her and speaking non-sense with her about Christianity and her family.
Recently I came to Kuwait for Job in Nov 2010 as I have a lot of financial problems and kept my wife in her mother’s house and suddenly she told me that she is doing wrong without going to church and praying to Jesus. She requested me to allow her to go to church as for her that is very important she said. And I came to know that she is attending church, attending prayer meetings and eating non Halal (her family doesn’t eat pork). She is staying in her mother’s house and there is no other option to keep her as I said that I don’t have my parents and I can’t keep her in my Grandma, Aunts or uncle’s house. And she told that she has to do as her family is doing and eating.
Sometimes I get angry and fight with her and tell her that she has spoiled my life, betrayed as she promised to be Muslim and now she changed, can’t be perfect wife and don’t know the meaning of marriage, wife-husband relationship or religion. When I say all this she feels a lot, cries and completely gets disappointed. Afterwards, when I realize, I apologize to her and by using this types of sentences and words I am suffering a lot. But what can I do? I use these words to change her and bring her back in Islam and to accept whole heartily. I never use this words from my heart.
Actually, I love her very much and she too loves me a lot more than me actually and I know that she cannot live without me. But I am not able to understand what to do and how to make her accept Islam whole heartily? I don’t want her to accept Islam for my sake or by my force as previously she did. I want her to accept Islam and Mohammad Rasullah (pbuh) whole heartily.
For this reason only, I did not have intercourse sex relationship with my wife till now after marriage and I want her to first accept Islam and then to have children. But I told her that we will have children after we get settled in life but she is forcing me and my family also forcing me to have children quickly and nobody understands my situation. I did get intimate after she insisted but not in a way that she becomes pregnant. I don’t want my children to become confused of Islam and I want my children and wife to be as Muslim and to follow the Sunnah, Ahadees, Quran as a perfect Muslim do. Please make dua for me and for my wife to accept Islam and can lead holy life according to Mohammad Rasullah (PBUH) said.
1- Please tell me what I am doing is correct or not?
2- Should I force my wife to accept Islam?
3- Should I allow her to do as she wishes?
4- Can I have sex relationship with my wife, if she follows Christianity (which I don’t allow her to)?
What should I do please give me a solution for this to make her to accept Islam? and pray for us to Allah to change her mind and to accept Islam.
Thanking you and Allah Bless you. Waiting for you’re heartily reply.
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