Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Worried about my first fajr prayer after the wedding night

wedding night bed

as salam alykum va rahmatullah,

Dear brother /sister,

Alhamdulillah I got an opportunity of asking a question and I hope you will answer me in the light of quran and hadith. I am about to get married next month inshallah.

Alhamdulillah I regurlarly offers fajr prayer with jama and my fiance is also a practicing muslim girl. I am worried that after making love in the night I can take a ritual bath of purity and can go for prayers and if nauzbillah if shaitan made me sleep due to laziness, will I be sinful? And also my wife as you know girls have got long hair , it will be very difficult for her to take bath and pray fajr at the right time as it will be a every day routine. I expect a good solution.

Thanks in advance

- damsea


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6 Responses »

  1. Assalamu alaykum,

    Brother you should not leave your prayer whatsoever happens.

    If it is your first night or second or third or so on. You have to be ready for Salaat at its proper time.

    Allah has revealed verses in the Qur'an regarding this matter. So you have to do ghusl of janaba and your wife also has to cleanse herself and offer Fajr.

    You should get yourself ready for prayer before Fajr. Keep an hour before Fajr spared for cleaning yourself and making yourself ready for Fajr.

    If you fear that you would sleep after a busy night, then stay awake and do not sleep until you have prayed Fajr.

    In today's time we have mobile phones with powerful alarm clocks, you may make use of them to wake up up an hour before Fajr and you may cleanse yourself and prepare for prayer.

    43. O ye who believe! Draw not near unto prayer when ye are drunken, till ye know that which ye utter, nor when ye are polluted, save when journeying upon the road, till ye have bathed. And if ye be ill, or on a journey, or one of you cometh from the closet, or ye have touched women, and ye find not water, than go to high clean soil and rub your faces and your hands (therewith). Lo! Allah is Benign, Forgiving. - Surah An Nisaa.

    103. When ye have performed the act of worship, remember Allah, standing, sitting and reclining. And when ye are in safety, observe proper worship. Worship at fixed hours hath been enjoined on the believers. - Suran An Nisaa.

    You may learn these ayats of Surah Ar Ruum and pray with your wife on the first night and the following in your life Insha Allah:

    17. So glory be to Allah when ye enter the night and when ye enter the morning
    18. Unto Him be praise in the heavens and the earth! and at the sun's decline and in the noonday.
    19. He bringeth forth the living from the dead, and He bringeth forth the dead from the living, and He reviveth the earth after her death. And even so will ye be brought forth.
    20. And of His signs is this: He created you of dust, and behold you human beings, ranging widely!
    21. And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.
    22. And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. Lo! herein indeed are portents for men of knowledge.
    23. And of His signs is your slumber by night and by day, and your seeking of His bounty. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who heed.

    Hope the advice helps.

    Salaam,
    Your brother,
    Munib.

  2. Salaam, congratulations on your engagement/marriage! This exact same question was asked in a Halaqa I attended so I will try to reiterate the answer best as I can InshaAllah.

    You still need to pray fajr - I know it is difficult, but there is no excuse to miss fajr. Of course it is MUCH better to pray fajr in its right time exactly but if necessary it is still valid as long as it is prayed before sunrise.
    She recommended keeping Shaitaan away as he will try to make you miss fajr. So of course do the dua before commencing intercourse.

    You could do ghusl after intimacy rather than going straight to sleep but this option is not always possible. Or it is possible for you both to do wudhu without ghusl afterwards (Wudhu does not cleanse you from the state of janaaba and ghusul is still needed though before salat). But Wudhu will keep shaitaan away from you both InshaAllah.

    Again it is not always possible to do wudhu straight away as it can be quite hurtful to one spouse if the other just gets up after intimacy. Its important to spend time together afterwards. Women in particular can be left feeling almost vulnerable after intimacy so cuddling afterwards is important even if you are tired. Maybe spend some time doing this and then mention doing wudhu together - that was her suggestion.

    If you fear you wont wake up set more than one alarm, maybe for diffiferent times, Also try to get an azaan clock - I can honestly say they are amazing MashaAllah - and if one wakes up they should wake up the other. Doing ghusl together also may increase the love between the couple and could be quicker - but it might be best avoided for newlyweds. Judge each situation accordingly yourself brother - find something that helps you both in waking up for fajr. Certainly do Jaamaat together where possible.

    And if you do both Isha and Fajr in congregation - it is as though you prayed the whole night.
    SubhanAllah!

    `Uthman bin Affan narrated that he had heard the Messenger of Allah saying: “He who attends Isha’ in congregation, is as if he has performed Salat for half of the night; and he who attends `Isha’ and Fajr prayers in congregation, is as if he has performed Salat for the whole night.”
    [Tirmidhi]

    May Allah swt bless your marriage and give you both happiness in this life and the next!
    Ameen

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Assalam O Alaikum brother damsea:)
    Thanks for your trust in us and writing here to find the solution. Brother, first and foremost, I would like to congratulate you for getting married and being regular with your prayers Masha Allah. Brother Munib and sister Sara have given you excellent advice but I wanted to point out that intimacy with ones spouse is a gift in marriage and it is made halal for both so that they find comfort in each other and keep them away from the sins.
    I understand where you are coming from brother that afterwards most men fall asleep and it's natural because our body releases stress hormones after we ejaculate and which helps us to relax and makes us fall sleep (this is scientifically proven). However, like sister Sara pointed out try to keep awake and cuddle your wife and also make sure that she is satisfied as well(this is very important brother as a lot of Muslim men ignore the feelings of their wives leaving them un-satisfied, and frustrated and go to sleep afterwards straight away).
    Now coming back to real problem of falling sleep and missing the Fajr prayer. Brother, solution has also been suggested to you by both the commentators above me. Also, you can allocate time well before the Fajr prayer and even then you can set the alarm Insha Allah and also brother when you go to bed then make firm intention to wake up insha Allah it will help you to wake up the next day.
    My mother a long time ago had problem with waking up early and used to miss fajr prayer and was worried a lot because if we don't offer Fajr prayer then their will be no barakah in the whole day in whatever we do. So, she turned to Allah (swt) and used to pray in Isha or going to bed to Allah to help her wake up for fajr prayer. Subhanallah brother from that day onwards she have never had any problem waking up early in the morning for Fajr prayer. When I asked her that there must be some days when she must be missing her fajr, and she said no because she feels like someone wakes her up just before Fajr:)
    Also brother, sex in marriage is important but it shouldn't effect other important responsibilities in our life and definitely not our religious responsibilities. You both can arrange times when it's easy for both of you and it doesn't have to be every night or day but when ever it's convenient for both of you.
    May Allah(swt) make things easier for both of you and help you both prosper in both deen and dunya. (amin).
    Wasalam,

    Your brother in Islam, Muhammad1982:)
    Editor, Islamicanswers.com.

  4. asslam ulikum

    dear brother ................. i have never ever replied on any forum but i m glad to see ur question in which u deliberately depicted ur wish to offer the fajar prayer in your first wedding night. How Allah has given u great wisdom and will power that u still thinking abt ur prayer in ur first wedding night.

    i think sara and muneeb had given u perfect answer in the light of quran and hadess........... so that i had commented on ur question................ best of luck for ur life after marriage............ may Allah gives u consistency on ur noble way.................

    Muhammad Jibran

  5. What dua to say before having sex with my wife

    • When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).”

      http://islamqa.info/en/5560

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