Monday, July 19, 1999
I came here 4 years ago with my husband. I gave birth to 2
beautiful children. I am 24 hours a day, almost every day at
home, I have no friends or family members here, so not only am
I feeling lonely, but I live with a husband who doesn't care.
He abuses me mentally, and physically he has begun doing something
that I am ashamed of. I really want to leave him, but I have
nowhere to go, since I don't work, I have no money, I am illegal
and going back to my country is almost impossible because my
family there can't support me and the kids.
So please if you can give me any advice jazaki allah khaira.
I am so depressed, no one knows what am dealing with, so please
don't forget about me.
Dear Sister Fatima,
Your story is a sad one and unfortunately,
there are other muslimahs like yourself - in a bad situation
I would suggest that you FIRST try and
talk to your husband about the matter. If this doesn't seem to
resolve any of the problems you have the right to speak with
someone at a nearby Mosque or Islamic Center that you feel would
be sympathetic to your problems. Most communities have ladies
who are active in community activities especially centered around
the women and children. Try and meet some of the sisters in your
area, either by phone or in person.
I would also suggest you read through
"Zawaj.com". There are hadiths, articles, essays, excerpts
from books on marriage. You might find some helpful and uplifting
information. There is also the option of "counseling"
for both you and your husband from an elder or the Imam of a
nearby community. If you really feel your situation is bad and
you want a change you are probably going to need to make some
changes in your usual patterns of dealing with it. In the section
where I answer questions, the question of May 24th has links
to Islamic organizations. Read through it and see if anything
there might be helpful to you.
Remember to read Qur'an daily, especially
Surahs pertaining to women. Busy yourself with remembrance of
Allah(swt), and pray for relief from your marital problems. Surely
Allah hears the woman who pleads for His Help. My prayers are