Monday, August 16, 1999
QUESTION
Dear Bilqis,
essalamnn alaikoum
I am an Algerian male living in London, UK. I am a bus driver.
Recently I was in a language course, where a young English teacher
has stolen my heart. I think about her all the time. As a Muslim
I know I should not behave that way, is it a weakness or a sickness?
I need some advice because I really want to have a Muslim family.
By the way, I am 30 years old.
-"Lovesick"
BILQIS ANSWERS:
Dear Lovesick,
As you already realize, you cannot let
these feelings for the English teacher go unchecked. The example
of the Prophet (saw) was that by avoiding the TEMPTATION to sin
you can avoid the sin, Insha'Allah.
There are examples in the sunnah to
help you with this problem:
- A Muslim should guard his/her gaze
when in mixed company.
- There should be no physical contact
with unlawful women, for a Muslim man.
You are probably aware of these Islamic
etiquettes, but you must practice them if you want the benefit
of them. If you feel the situation is beyond these measures then
perhaps you should see if there is another class you could be
re-assigned to that is perhaps taught by a male.
This is probably a sign that you need
to begin to vigorously look for a Muslim wife. I would also suggest
that you increase your association with your Muslim brothers
by attending Fajr and Isha'a prayers at the Masjid at the least,
while, if time permits increasing your involement in Islamic
activities at a nearby community. I know there are many Masjids
in the UK.
Needless to say, most importantly, seek
Allah's (swt) help through salat, dua and reading Qur'an daily.
What is weakness can become sickness if we do not strive against
it. May Allah grant you strength and guidance to do what your
heart already has told you is right. There is a tradition that
says if we walk toward Allah(swt), He runs toward us. He rewards
our efforts.
My prayers and best wishes are with
you.
-Bilqis