Choosing a baby name is not always easy.

By Yasser Aboudouma
Writer, Civil Engineer – Egypt

Part 1: “Honey, I have a craving!”
Part 2: Watch out, she’s moody!

Husbands, you have reached the final stage of the pregnancy marathon! The last three months of pregnancy can be called the months of mass destruction. The pregnant wife will be fond of knowing the baby’s gender; you too, of course. She will start shopping for the baby. She will have emotional “alterations” — in some cases, depression!

Month Seven (Boy/Girl)

Sure, the doctor can tell the baby’s gender. It is common in Egypt that most families dream that the first baby is a boy, which means your wife will dream of that too

Wife: That doctor is really weird. She is telling us “may be a boy, may be a girl.” What does she mean that the baby can be a girl? I want a baby boy, and all my friends and family are prepared for that. If we had gone to a male doctor from the beginning, he would have told us, easily, whether the baby is a girl or a boy.

Wife: Huh! I need to think about baby girl names. What you do think? Layla, Dalia, or Du`aa’? or let’s call her after my close friend. You know, I want her name to be unique — something that combines Arab, Egyptian, Western, Islamic, and Pharaonic cultures all in one name!

Husband: (teasing her) Don’t worry about the name. we’ll give her the name “Saffron.” I’ll complete all the official paperwork before you leave the operation room after delivery.

Wife: WHAT? Saf … what? No, please. Let me choose her name. I want to name her after my mom, your mom, or your sister — just don’t choose that name.

Of course, the name choice argument will give you some power to control her mood, but remember, don’t use it too much ; otherwise, you will find yourself flying out of the window!

Month Eight (Clothes)

Various researches describe this month in different ways, but they all agree that the pregnant woman wants to buy the entire world for her baby. She will feel jealous if she knows or hears about other mothers buying something for their babies, and she will do her best to buy the same or better. You as a husband have to accept that and get prepared to spend your savings on it. Husbands, never ever dream of saying “no” or complaining if she asks for baby shopping.

Wife: My colleague came to work with her baby today, and the baby wore a very sweet, pretty outfit that made her look like a princess. In the evening, I’ll go shopping.

Husband: OK! We can shop at the weekend.

Wife: Thank you, honey. I knew you would agree, so today I bought fancy brand-name clothes for her from that famous store. Our daughter must get the best!

Husband: I thought we were going to do the shopping together.

Wife: Don’t worry. There’s still a lot to buy. Hey, see this is a shampoo for the baby when she sleeps and that shampoo is for when she wakes up. These are diapers from the US, and this is a brush for her hair.

Husband: WHAT? Shampoo for what? How do you know that the baby wants to sleep or not to and how to decide ahead of time which shampoo to use? You might bathe her with shampoo used for waking up and then she will want to sleep… oh yes, then you’ll wake her up quickly and give her a shower with the right shampoo?

Who told you that the baby will be born with hair; as I understand it, a lot of babies are born without any hair, so that hairbrush is useless. In addition, why did you buy diapers made in the US? What’s wrong with the ones made in Egypt? It’s just a diaper, not a fancy thing!

Wife: Arrrgh! Don’t worry, babies know the right shampoo! She’ll sense which is the correct one and then act accordingly; that’s what’s written on the bottle. And I got the US-made diapers because I want my daughter to feel unique. Anyway, I bought three towels for the baby, one to use after shower, the second to dry her as the first one will be wet, and the third to cover her the second we are sure she is properly dried. Also, I got her hair clips, skin cream — one for night and the other for the morning, three pair of shoes, socks, underwear, and four dresses.

Husband: Are you sure you’re shopping for a baby, not a girl who is getting ready for marriage?! By the way, did you buy her a make-up box? There’s something especially for babies. You have to run to buy it now, and don’t forget the baby’s teeth brush, too!

Wife: Oh my God! You’re right, I really forgot that. I’ll arrange with my mom and sister to go out with me to complete my shopping.

Wife: By the way, you have to be more careful; my close friend told me that anger and nervousness are not good for pregnancy. Today at the meeting, all my colleagues were perfectly behaved; once any one just thought about arguing with me, I told them that I was in the eighth month and the baby would be delivered prematurely if I argue! There were no arguments, and the meeting ended in 10 minutes!

Husband: I think you’ll get fired soon.

Days pass slowly, and the pregnant wife returns home with many things she bought from different stores. The husband gets used to seeing his wife sitting on the floor and spreading all the baby’s stuff around her to check, kiss, hug them and find out what is missing!

Month Nine

Husbands, congratulations! You’re in the ninth month. You have waited eight months to reach that final month. You controlled your temper throughout, you worked and helped with the housework, And you are tired; you deserve some relaxation.

The pregnant wife knows that the time of her being spoiled will end; finally, she will be responsible for a baby, so she will start acting as poorly, trying to show you that she is weak and powerless. Do understand that she is worried about delivering her baby — it is her first time, and she knows virtually nothing about giving birth. So you will have to –be, even more, patient!

Wife: Honey, I feel sorry for you! The past eight months have been very hard for you. I rarely cooked and you stopped eating dinner, while your breakfast was just a cake; you lost 20 kg. I have to cook today. I’ll make a surprise for you. I’ll boil some eggs and prepare white cheese, but would you please prepare the salad for us?!

Husband: … .

Wife: Do you think I’ll deliver the baby naturally or will there be a C-section? You know, most of my pregnant friends had a cesarean. Maybe my doctor will deliver it naturally as she is a female doctor.

Husband: Ah yep, but the doctor’s gender doesn’t affect the type of delivery.

Wife: Anyway, I prepared two suite cases for the baby and me.

A natural phenomenon: All pregnant women become nice and kind to their husbands just a few days before giving birth. So be careful, because that kindness will turn to hell if you were at work while she starts labor.

Wife: OHHH, HELP! Mom, Father, Brother, Sister, Uncles, Aunts, United Nations, Egyptian people, the Universe, … any one! Help me, I’m in pain! The baby!

Wife: (addressing her husband) Honey, I’m in pain, tell that doctor to give me any painkiller. I can’t handle it any more. I feel weak. Promise me if anything happens to me, never ever get married again! Don’t give our baby a stepmother. Please, promise me!

Husband: You’ll be fine, and everything will be OK. It happens to all women; you’re not the first one. Just a few minutes from now, and you’ll hold in your arms a sweet baby girl.

Wife: Did you bring a video camera with you? Don’t take any shots from my left-hand side; my right side is more photogenic! Choose good angles for the shots, I want to look pretty in the video. Take shots while I’m not screaming and before my face appears in the video screen, just tell me to smile.

Husband: We’re recording the birth of our baby, not making a movie! You’ll be in the operation room, and you won’t care about anything of that sort.

Wife: Labor hurts. I’m crazy and stupid; I don’t want to get pregnant again. This is the first and last time. If anyone had told me about that pain, I would’ve never thought about marriage.

A big scream from the pregnant woman calls for the baby to come out and get introduced into this world to join the mother’s community.

Wife: Honey, what is the gender of the baby?

Husband: What? The baby is a girl. We knew that a long time ago.

Wife: Yipeeee… I thought the doctor would change her mind. Is she pretty?

He: (Teasing her) Who, the doctor? Yes, very.

Wife: No, silly! I mean the baby.

Husband: Oh! yes, she’s very, very pretty.

Wife: OK, next time we’ll have a baby boy. Now tell them I want to hold her.

Husband: (in amazement) Next time? You just said … You were … What happened? Women! Women! Women!

Husbands, don’t worry. Pregnant women are all like that — in a state of confusion and amazement. And they will continue to be like that until the last second of their lives. Congratulations!

Part 1: Honey, I Have a Craving!
Part 2:  Watch Out, She’s Moody!
Part 3:  What’s in a Name?

***

Yasser Aboudouma is an Egyptian-Canadian who lives between Cairo and Ontario. He holds a B.Sc. in engineering and a diploma in project management. He is interested in issues of social and cultural differences.

Before Islam, Mary was a “Heinz 57″ of religion

By Mary Farrag

Reprinted from ReadingIslam.com

Before reverting to Islam I was, well, let’s say Heinz 57 (Editor’s note: for those of you not familar with American colloquialisms, Heinz 57 is a sauce with a lot of different ingredients – in other words, a mix).

I was baptized Catholic, made my confirmation as a Lutheran, and we attended whatever church was near to our house. Which probably turned out to be a good thing.

I left my family’s house when I was the age of 17. As soon as I graduated from high school, I moved into the one bedroom apartment that my boyfriend had. We only lived there for a very short time. Then we moved to a larger apartment.

At this time I really wasn’t going to church anymore because I was too busy working for God. My boyfriend wasn’t religious at all. Actually he was agnostic. Always, he needed things proven to him.

Well, eventually we married but never had any children. We stayed together a total of 18 years.

I didn’t know anything about Islam at all until my current husband wanted to start chatting with me. We were both using a program called Freetel. I don’t think it is even available anymore.

I was used to chatting with many people but never chatted with an Arab. One night I saw on the top of the screen: Ahmed is Calling. I had never even heard of this name before, so I was reluctant to accept the chat.

After a few times of him trying to call me, I accepted. We started off with the usual chat. Where are you from? Are you married? Do you have any children? Then we continued from there.

We were both very unhappy in our marriages. So we became friends. After six months of chatting everyday, I decided that I needed to know this man that I was now in love with. So I came toEgypt and stayed for 23 days.

It was confirmed that yes, we were actually in love. Neither one of us could imagine this was true. We toured most places in Cairo and some parts of Alexandria. At this time, I still didn’t know very much about Islam.

So after the 23 days, I returned to USA . My visit to Cairo confirmed what I needed to do. I needed to get a divorce from my current American husband.

He was very bad to me. He physically and emotionally abused me. During the next six months I was away from Ahmed and fell into a very deep depression.

Learning About Islam

Also during that time, Ahmed, now my husband, started to tell me about Islam. I was interested in anything he had to say.

I was working for low income public housing at the time of all of this. One day, one of my tenants came into the office to pay her monthly rent. Her name is Aminah.

She said to me “Miss Mary, you look different, something has changed in you.”

I told her about my trip and how I was in love with an Egyptian man who was a Muslim. She said that it was so cool. She said that her mom also is a Muslim and she asked me if I would like to meet her mom.

So I agreed and I met Rashida and we instantly got along. She also was a revert, but had reverted 25 years ago. So we started to meet more often, and she also started to teach me about Islam. So between Ahmed and Rashida, I became very interested in Islam.

I started to also study on my own. I started to go to meet Rashida; she had a shop that sells incense, oils and Islamic clothing. So now I was on my way with Islam.

One day I asked my husband-to-be, Ahmed, if he was going to make me become Muslim? On my trip here to Cairo, we got engaged, even though he was still married. So, he said “Mary, look I love you, but I can not make you become Muslim”.

He said, “That is between you and Allah.”

This is exactly what I needed to hear. So, Rashida started to take me to many places where Muslim sisters were. I loved them. They were so nice and peaceful and loving.

Declaring Shahadah

So 3 days before I was to move to Egypt to marry Ahmed, which was 6 more months after getting engaged to him, I called Rashida and told her that I wanted to become Muslim.

She told me to come to her and bring a hijab. So off I was to Rashida’s house. We stood outside on her balcony and she started to say “Ash Hado An La Ilaha IlaAllah”. I said, “Wait, please.”

She said, “Ahh, you have changed your mind.”

I said, “No, no, wait.” I went into my purse and took out my cell phone and called Ahmed in Cairo .

I said, “Ahmed, I want you to hear something.”

He said, “What is that?”

I said, “Here, listen.”

So Rashida said, “Ash Hado An La Ilaha IlaAllahwa Ash hado anna Mohammadan Rasollah,” and I repeated after her word for word.

I started to cry and heard Ahmed crying on the mobile and looked at Rashida and she was crying, Masha’Allah. So then I left Rashida and went home, took my ghusl (special shower). I am sure I did it wrong but Allah knew my niyyah (intention).

So then three days after, I came off the plane. I didn’t tell Ahmed that I wore the hijab.

I walked past him just a little to see if he would know me.

He didn’t, so I walk back and said, “Excuse me, are you waiting for someone?”

He looked at me and just kept saying, “SubhanAllah”, maybe four or five times. I thought he was going to have a coma. I told his friends to watch him until I came past the people to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

Then we were off to get married.

So that is basically my story of coming to Islam. It was so hard for me in the beginning, but now I am so happy and thankful to Allah for guiding me to the straight path.

Divorce should always be a last resort.

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we commend your keenness on getting your self well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.

We must state clearly that divorce in Islam is the most abhorrent of all permitted things, and, as such, it must be resorted to only in extreme cases of necessity, and that too following certain stringent procedures and conditions. Among such procedures and conditions is: One must resort to divorce only after having exhausted all efforts of proper reconciliation and mediation. If, all efforts fail, while pronouncing divorce, one must be in a sober state of mind, and having clear intention to divorce. Just as marriage in Islam is contracted in a sober state of mind, and with clear intention, divorce must also be made in the same way.

In his answer to the question in point, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:

“Divorce is the most hateful thing to Allah, but it is allowed (halal) only in the case of absolute necessity. If a couple tried their best to reconcile their differences, but they still could not agree and they found impossible to live with each other, then only in that case they should separate in a proper and decent manner.

Divorce can be initiated by the husband or by the wife. The husband has the right to pronounce the words of divorce (talaq) to his wife. He can also give her a statement of divorce in writing.

The wife can seek divorce from her husband through khul`, but if he refuses to grant her request then she can seek the dissolution of marriage through the court of law. The Shari`ah has not given the right to a woman to divorce her husband, because only the husband has all the financial obligations of the family.

After divorce he will be responsible to provide her maintenance during her `iddah and if there are any children in the family then he will be responsible for their expenses. Thus to grant her that right equally with the husband while she has no financial obligation is unfair and unjust. The wife can, however, divorce her husband if her husband gave her that right either at the time of marriage or afterwards.

A husband who wants to divorce his wife should use the words of divorce with full awareness after much thinking and consideration. Using the words of divorce in haste or anger is not right. The proper procedure is to give divorce when a woman is not pregnant and is not going through her monthly menstrual cycle. Divorce can take place by saying one time “I have divorced you” (talluqtuki) or “You are divorced” (anti taliq).

After this the woman should spend the time of her `iddah. During the period of `iddah the husband can cancel his divorce and can resume the matrimonial relationship, but if it does not happen then the divorce takes effect and at the end of the `iddah period their marriage ends. There is no need to repeat the words of divorce more than once. Even one divorce is sufficient to terminate the relationship.

The provision of the second and third divorce is given for a husband who divorces his wife one time and then cancels his divorce, but then after sometime changes his mind and divorces her again second time. Then he changes his mind and resumes the relationship and then again after that he divorces her. The Shari`ah says that now this relationship should end.

Marriage is a serious matter. One cannot keep divorcing one’s wife and returning her back. After the third divorce he cannot take her back. The third divorce is called the “irrevocable divorce” (talaq mughallaz). The wife now becomes forbidden to her husband completely. She cannot go back to this husband who has divorced her three times, unless she marries another person who out of his own free will divorces her and then after the `iddah she and her previous husband want to remarry. This is called halalah in the language of the Shari`ah. This rule is given by the Shari’ah to reduce the occurrence of three divorces and to protect the honor of the woman.

Some people misuse this procedure out of ignorance or willingly. There are some people who think that the divorce (talaq) would not happen unless one makes the statement three times. There are others who repeat the words of divorce for emphasis and have no idea that this could be very serious. The jurists (fuqaha’) have discussed this issue for the last fourteen hundred years. There were some jurists who took the strict position that three divorces whether uttered at once or separately would be considered as three divorces. According to them, whether a person misused this right knowingly or unknowingly the affect would be the same. If some one uttered the words of divorce three times, then this would be talaq mughallaz and his wife would become totally forbidden for him and they could not reconcile without a halalah.

There are, however, some other jurists who emphasize the role of will in marriage and divorce. They say that if the husband used three divorces intentionally as three, then they will be counted as three, but if he repeated the words in anger or to emphasize his point then this is one divorce and he will have the right to resume the relationship with his wife. I feel that the second position is closer to the spirit of the Shari`ah. I am pleased to see that there are now some Hanafi jurists also who are inclined to this position. There were fatwas issued to this effect by the `Ulama’ of Deoband and Nadwa in India as well the `Ulama in Saudi Arabia.

The issue of a divorce given in anger is also important. The basic rule is that divorce must be uttered with full consciousness and without any coercion. If a person pronounced the words of divorce to his wife, in a fit of anger, while he lost all control over himself or due to the influence of intoxicants which he sinfully consumed, or he was forced by someone else to do so, then in all these cases his words of divorce are null and void and have no effect.

In conclusion, let me say that Muslims must protect their family life and must avoid divorce as much as possible. If it becomes necessary to have divorce then use the Islamic methods and procedures. Obviously we cannot give all the details here. Those who need more information they should consult special books on this subject or speak to those who are knowledgeable.”

Challenges Facing Arab Singles Who Want to Marry

By Wael Abdelgawad

Arab singles face a tough time finding a partner, getting engaged, getting prepared for marriage, and then actually getting married.

I should know, since I am one of them. It’s a multi-dimensional problem. First, there’s the challenge of actually meeting someone. It’s not like there is an Arab singles club that you can join, although some organizations are putting together periodic singles events in major cities. And because of cultural customs and taboos it can be next to impossible to meet a single Arab of the opposite sex. Arabs are a small minority in Western society (unless you happen to live in Dearborn, Michigan), which makes the selection pool that much smaller.

Young Arab women and men at a conference in Dubai sponsored by the British Council and Young Arab Leaders program. Such events are a great way to meet compatible Arab singles, even if that is not the primary purpose of the event.

Secondly, once you actually meet someone, you’re very aware that in our cultures you are not dealing one-on-one. It’s not only about your expectations and hers/his, or your personality, hopes, dreams, and hers/his, or your “qualifications” and hers/his.

No, unfortunately (in my opinion) it’s about the families. This presents a major obstacle, because many Arab families have rigid expectations for their son or daughter’s marriage partner.

They may also have certain Arab engagement customs  that must be adhered to, and if either family is perceived to be deviating from those customs, then the Arab bride or groom might be forbidden from continuing.

There may also be some element of nationalism or even racism that prevents a single Arab youth from courting someone who may be appealing and have a wonderful character, but does not come from the “right” country or culture.

I realize that the involvement of the family in the courting and engagement process is designed to protect the prospective bride or groom, and to prevent anyone from getting into an improper relationship. But it can be overbearing to the point where it becomes counterproductive and destructive.

As a result, it’s not uncommon for young Arabs in the West to get married secretly, or elope, or marry a convert (whose families typically have little say in the matter).

Then there is the economic hurdle. For Arab singles living in the Arab world, the financial hurdles are like crossing the Sahara on ice skates. Young single Arab men who may be unemployed, or even if they are employed are probably earning a meager salary, are expected to provide the bride with a nicely furnished apartment, not rented but owned. This is a virtual impossibility for many Arab youth. As a result there’s a lot of frustration among the youth of countries like Egypt and Morocco.

What are the options for intelligent, professional Arab singles?

Then there’s the wedding. Couples are expected to have lavish weddings whose cost is borne by the families. It makes no sense. The result is a society of desperate single young Arab men and women.

For Arab singles in the West, finances are usually not as much of a problem, though the expensive weddings can still be a burden. I strongly advocate simple, humble weddings that emphasize the religious and spiritual nature of marriage. The families can take all that money they would have spent on a big wedding, and instead give it to the couple to establish their new home.

So what are the options for Arab singles seeking a life partner?

Of course I am biased, but I feel that Zawaj.com is a good start. You can start out by creating a profile here. I said earlier that it’s tough meeting someone because it’s not like there’s an Arab singles club you can join, but on the internet there is, and it’s Zawaj.com. Zawaj.com is a well-established website with a good reputation. The Zawaj.com program has recently been upgraded so that it offers you a wonderful variety of communication tools, including a private internal messaging system, message boards, chat, and even video chat if you like. It is a safe, comfortable environment in which to meet someone special.

There is a huge photo gallery of Arab singles, both men and women, including Arab-American singles, Palestinian singles, Egyptian singles, Syrian singles, Lebanese singles, Kuwaiti Singles, Saudi singles, Iraqi singles and more.  It’s free to register and create a profile, and you can start sending Flirts to other members right away. If you find someone special who intrigues you, you can purchase a Platinum membership and send that person a more detailed message or your contact info if you like. Meeting professional, attractive Arab singles could not be easier.

Join Zawaj.com for free today and get started.

Eid Mubarak!

As-salamu alaykum,

Tomorrow morning, Insha’Allah, me, my mother and father, and my daughter Salma – who is six years old now – will wake up early and put on our best clothes, Insha’Allah. We’ll get in the car and stop at the donut shop at Shaw and Blackstone, because they have the sweetest, plumpest, shiniest donuts in town. Each one gleams like a seashell in the glass case. I’ll buy a box of a dozen to share with others after Salat al-Eid, and a few extras in a bag for our family, so we don’t have to wait in a mile-long line and elbow people to get ahead.

We’ll go downtown to the Fresno fairgrounds, and sit among a thousand other Muslims. We’ll recite the Takbeerat al-Eid, praising Allah’s greatness. We’ll pray the Eid Salat, then I’ll strain to hear the khutbah as so many people begin chattering right away. My daughter will pester me, saying, “Can we eat the donuts now?”… “Not yet sweetie, when the khutbah is over.”

I know, it all sounds a bit silly, but I’m excited. It’s a wonderful day. I’ll see brothers that I haven’t seen since last year. Everyone will be wearing their best outfits.

But it’s not about the donuts, or the nice clothes. It is this feeling of being connected to every Muslim around the world; a feeling of being part of something great.

When we return home, Salma will open her presents: a new pair of shoes, a toy bed for her dolls, and a game called “Trouble”. My mother will make cookies, and we’ll put some decorations on the walls. Then we will write a letter to Hawa, an orphan in Sierra Leone who we are fostering. She is eleven years old. I want Salma to understand that part of being a Muslim is caring for others, and remembering them always.

I try to make the day special for Salma. It’s difficult. Everywhere we go, we see Halloween decorations and advertisements. When I tell Salma, “Three days left until Eid!”, she counters with, “And nine days until Halloween!” But I try.

I will also talk to Salma about our Muslim brothers and sisters who are struggling all over the world. In Palestine and Syria and Burma they are fighting for their freedom and their very survival. They don’t have pizza and donuts on Eid, or shiny new shoes. Many have no food to eat at all. Most have lost someone: a parent, a child, a sibling or a friend. Some have been utterly devastated.

Yet, they are resolute. They will not stop until they are free.

These are the real heroes of Eid-ul-Adha. I feel small next to them. I weep when I think of their struggles. They are the ones living the spirit of Ibrahim (as). They have made the greatest sacrifices, and are still striving, undaunted. They are living the words of Allah:

“Say: ‘Verily, my ṣalāh, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are all for Allāh, the Lord of the ‘Alameen’” (6:162).

That is what Eid-ul-Adha is all about. May Allah give them security, safety, comfort, victory, and Jannah.

Wael
Zawaj.com Editor
October 25, 2012

By Christine and Jelt from their blog

http://christineandjelte.blogspot.com/2010/11/cross-border-markets-and-our-first.html

Cross Border Markets and our First Tajik Wedding

Local children at a wedding in Tajikistan

It’s Friday afternoon, 4:30 pm and a colleague mentions, by-the-way, that Monday is a holiday as Constitution day falls on Saturday, 6th November. A long week-end with places to go and things to see!! To hell with a two week pile of unwashed clothes! Here in Khorog, every Saturday morning there is a cross-border market, which is the closest we can get to actually visiting Afghanistan.

View from the bridge in our village towards Afghanistan.

At 10 am Jelte, Rod and I hail a ‘cab’ and for the price of just one Somoni each (the equivalent of 30c or 20p) we share a ‘golf cart’ – commonly known as a Chinese van – with 4 other passengers to take us to the site of the cross-border market. When we arrive, things are just beginning to come alive.

Standing out in the crowd at the Tajikistan border market.

We wander around the few stalls of fruits and clothes and odds and ends. Jelte and Rod sit down to breakfast of ‘choi’ and bread with Halva. Christine is too busy watching one of the stall owners cook ‘pilav’ on an open fire.

A food vendor at the market prepares the pilav: rice, meat, broth, carrots and onions on an open fire.

Within half an hour the market-place is teeming with vendors and shoppers; Afghanis and Tajiks and the odd smattering of foreigners (apparently in the city of Khorog – pop: 30,000, there are a grand total of 20 odd ‘expats’).

Also present, but not in any way threatening, are Tajik police, busy taking photos of themselves and each other. We suspect they are there to keep an eye on the Afghani merchants, who, by the way, look distinctly different from their Tajik neighbours. Beautiful, strong faces and distinctly different clothes, many barefoot on their ‘stalls’ which are just pieces of canvas or cloth laid out on the ground with their wares displayed. The Afghanis are the ones who sell the exotic spices and used American boots.

Afghani spice vendor sets up shop at the market.

So, our American friends, you know where your tax money goes!! Funny thing; Tajik food is not a culinary delight so we look across the border to be supplied with turmeric, cloves, cinnamon, cardamom, screw-pine (bet you’ve never heard of that), ginger root, pepper corns and a host of other totally unrecognizable spices and ground minerals.

Afghani spice vendor drives a hard bargain as critical onlookers stand by.

On the way back we stopped at the regular ‘bozor’ and stocked up on the usual Tajik staples, dried fruit, dried nuts, lentils, rice, beans, and cheese and bread for the next day’s hike. The local cheese here is the North American equivalent of cheez whizz which I had never tasted until arriving here in Khorog.

Since we arrived, with the exception of just one day of rain, each day has been much like the previous – blue, blue skies, with bright sunshine. The valley traps the heat and by mid-day it’s in the high 60s. Beautiful! And perfect for hiking. Sunday, we are off to Bogev, a neighbouring valley just 15 km away, which has been recommended by expat ‘Bo’ an avid mountaineer and climber.

Gassing up the goo.d old Lada for the trip to Bogev.

The culmination of the climb is an ancient Zoroastrian fire temple, probably @ 2,800m above sea level. The climb was steep and more challenging than we thought. So Christine chickened and hung out on a convenient ledge while Rod and Jelte scaled further to the top of the mountain. Their reward was sighting a couple of grey foxes and incredible views. After our lunch of bread, cheez whizz , dried apricots and pears we made our way down into the valley, to a little village and stumbled upon a wedding party.

Next in line to be a bride?

The Tajik hospitality is legendary and after introductions to the family of the bride we found ourselves in a traditional Pamiri House, celebrating our first wedding, surrounded by friends and family who were preparing for the evening’s celebrations. In spite of this, they took time to spread a feast for us and provided us with live entertainment to which we all danced and celebrated.

Hold your hands up high for the bride and groom….

We can’t say we were not warned about the proliferation of Tajik weddings. Our co-volunteer, Jeremy, who we met in Dushanbe, said he clocked up 72 wedding attendances in 18 months of living in this country.

So far, every outing has been full of wonderful surprises, especially the Tajiks. We have never felt so safe and welcome in a foreign country; and we don’t even speak any of the languages … yet.

There’s more to the long weekend but, we’ll leave that to our next blog, when, we suppose, we should write something about our work…..

Eid Mubarak!

Eid Mubarak to all our faithful readers, first time visitors, brothers and sisters, and friends.

I thank Allah that I am alive to see another sunrise, to see my daughter laugh and learn, to enjoy all the blessings that Allah has given me, and to have another day to ask Allah’s forgiveness, pray, work, and think. Another day to strive to be a better Muslim, a better father, and a better human being.

We Muslims are people of patience and truth, and if we adhere to that path then Allah will never abandon us, rather He will guide us, ease our hearts, and open opportunities for us.

On this day of celebration, may Allah ease the hearts of all who are suffering, replace pain with comfort and joy, sickness with health, oppression with liberation, tyranny with freedom, and fill our hearts with the hope and tawakkul (trust in Allah) that is sorely needed by our Ummah.

- Wael Abdelgawad

Eid Greetings

ISNA’s Eid Announcement:

Eid al-Fitr on Sunday, August 19, 2012, insha’Allah.

On the basis of this method the date of Eid al-Fitr for the year 1433 AH is established as follows:

1st of Shawwal will be on Sunday, August 19, 2012

Eid al-Fitr 1433 AH:

The Astronomical New Moon is on August 17, 2011 (Friday) at 15:54 Universal Time (6:54 p.m. Makkah time). On Friday, August 17, sunset at Makkah is 6:49 p.m. and moonset is 6:30 p.m. Moon is born after sunset in Makkah and moon sets before sunset. On Saturday, August 18, sunset at Makkah is 6:49 p.m. and moonset is at 7:11 p.m. Moon is born 24 hours before sunset, while moonset is after sunset. Therefore, first day of Shawwal, i.e., Eid al-Fitr is Sunday, August 19, insha’Allah.

May Allah (swt) keep us on the right path, and accept our fasting and prayers. Ameen. For more detailed information, please visit: www.fiqhcouncil.org  or www.moonsighting.com

*****

Eid Mubarak to all our faithful readers, first time visitors, brothers and sisters, and friends.

The last year has been a time of growth for me, and for Zawaj.com. Most importantly, I thank Allah that I am alive to see another sunrise, to see my daughter laugh and learn, to enjoy all the blessings that Allah has given me, and to have another day to ask Allah’s forgiveness, pray, work, and think. Another day to strive to be a better Muslim, a better father, and a better human being.

On this day of celebration and commemoration of the sacrifices of Ibrahim, Hajar and Ismail (may Allah be pleased with them all), may Allah ease the hearts of all who are suffering, replace pain with comfort and joy, sickness with health, oppression with liberation, tyranny with freedom, and fill our hearts with the hope and tawakkul (trust in Allah) that is sorely needed by our Ummah.

- Wael Abdelgawad

Shopping for Eid-ul-Fitr gifts in Old Hyderabad, India

By Mohammed Shafeeq for FacenFacts

Hyderabad: During Ramadan, shopping for Eid in the walled quarter of Hyderabad does not end with the night.

In fact, it picks up at night with the centuries-old markets doing business round-the-clock.

As such, with only a couple of days left for Eid-ul-Fitr, marking the culmination of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, all roads in the city are now leading to shops, hotels, roadside eateries and the ubiquitous vendors around Charminar, the symbol of Hyderabad and the hub of Eid shopping.

In fact, the old city and some Muslim-majority areas in the central part of the city never sleep during the holy month.

While the faithful spend the holy nights in prayers, other men, women and children throng the markets for Eid shopping.

As one crosses the Musi river to enter the old city, the aroma of haleem (a Ramadan dish of meat, wheat flour, spices and ghee) wafts in.

The numerous hotels at Madina Junction and on the High Court Road do brisk business selling haleem, said to have come to Hyderabad via Iran and Afghanistan during the Mughal period.

The Madina-Charminar road, notorious for its traffic chaos throughout the day, is witnessing jams throughout the night these days, with vendors occupying the footpaths and selling from garments to hairpin.

Madina, Patthargatti, Patel Market, Gulzar Houz and Laad Bazar — famous for readymade garments, textiles, footwear, jewellery, pearls, bangles, ‘attar’ (natural perfumes) and crockery, cutlery, upholstery – teem with thousands of buyers.

Night bazaar around Charminar, Hyderabad at Eid time

The city authorities may be planning to open a night bazaar around Charminar for long, but every year during Ramadan, the area by itself turns into a night bazaar, especially in the last 10 days of Ramadan.

Those fasting, including women, take a break from shopping to end their fast in the lawns of the historic Mecca Masjid.

After tasting haleem, dahi bade and other delicacies at nearby eateries, they resume the shopping with fresh energy and this goes on till late into the night.

The price hike has not dampened the spirits of Eid.

“We may have to spend a few bucks more, but we can’t do without shopping for our families, especially as the occasion comes once a year,” said Syed Yousuf, who works in a private company.

The prices of readymade garments have gone up by over 30 percent this year and the traders attribute it mainly to rising transport costs.

“Last year, I bought a dress for Rs.5,000 but this year, it cost me Rs.7,000,” said Shaheda Parveen, a student.

While many glittering and sprawling shopping malls have come up in the city in the last few years, the area around Charminar remains the hot favourite for Eid shopping.

Shoppers from neighbouring districts and even from Maharashtra and Karnataka pour in for shopping.

Almost all the families buy new clothes, footwear and bangles for the occasion. What makes these markets so special is the fact that they cater to all sections of society.

With well-to-do families paying ‘zakat’ (Islamic wealth tax of 2.5 percent on their cash and other valuables) and every man who fasts paying ‘fitra’ (fixed this year at Rs.60), the poor also join the festivities by buying clothes, ‘sweyian’, dry fruits and other items for ‘sheer khorma’ — a sweet dish prepared in almost every houshold on Eid.

The Eid shopping is the climax of unprecedented month-long economic activity.

Truckloads of dates, preferred for breaking fasts, and fruits are sold every day.

The meat supply goes up drastically to meet the demand from hotels preparing haleem.

With Muslims accounting for 40 percent of the city’s seven million population, every commodity associated with the festivities opens up huge business opportunities.

The volumes of business, mostly in the unorganised sector, are beyond anybody’s guess.

The business covering eatables, garments and footwear is estimated to be over Rs.2,000 crore.

With the Dome of the Rock Mosque seen in the background, Palestinian Muslim worshippers pray, during the first Friday prayers of the holy fasting month of Ramadan, in the Al-Aqsa Mosque compound in Jerusalem’s Old City, Friday, Sept. 5, 2008. AP / Muhammed Muheisen

How to take full advantage and benefit from the last part of Ramadan?

Though all parts of Ramadan are full of blessings and rewards, its last ten days hold a special status reflected in the recommendations and practices of the Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, and his companions. I will focus here on three major practices of the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, and his companions during these days.

1-Praying in the last ten nights of Ramadan

Al-Bukhari and Muslim record from ‘Aishah that during the last ten days of Ramadan, the Messenger of Allah would wake his wives up during the night and then remain apart from them (that is, being busy in acts of worship). A narration in Muslim states: “He would strive [to do acts of worship] during the last ten days of Ramadan more than he would at any other time.”

Aisha reported that With the start of the last ten days of Ramadan, the Prophet used to tighten his waist belt (i.e. work hard) and used to pray all the night, and used to keep his family awake for the prayers. [Bukhari]

2-Performing I`tikaf in the Masjid (seclusion in the Mosque)

Before going to the essential of this last section, let us stop by one of the great Imam of ahl Assunnah wal jama`ah, one of the greatest revivers of the Da`wah and the methodology of the Salaf, Shaikhul-Islam Shamsuddeen Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah who will give us a brain storming admonition.

He says (rahimahu Allah) in Zaad al Ma`aad fi hadyi khairi al `ibaab :

“Since the hearts’ rectitude and firmness upon the path towards Allah the Most High, rests upon directing it solely upon Allaah and causing it to turn and give all its attention to Allaah the Most High. Since the disorder of the heart cannot be rectified except by turning to Allaah the Most High, and its disorder will be increased by eating and drinking too much, mixing with the people excessively, speaking profusely and sleeping too much. These will cause it to wander into every valley, and cut it off from its path to Allah, weaken it, divert it or put a halt to it.

From the Mercy of the Mighty and Most Merciful is that He has prescribed for them fasting, which will cut off the excesses of eating and drinking, and empties the hear of its desires which divert it on its journey to Allah the Most High. He prescribed it in due proportion as will be appropriate and will benefit the servant, with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and does not harm him, nor damage what is beneficial for him.

He also prescribed i`tikaf for them, by which is intended that the heart is fully occupied with Allah, the Most High, concentrated upon Him alone, and cut off from preoccupation with the creation. Rather it is engrossed with Him alone, the One free of all defects, such that remembering Him, loving Him and turning to Him takes the place of all anxieties of the heart and its suggestions, such that he is able to overcome them. Thus all his concerns are for Him. His thoughts are all of remembrance of Him, and thinking of how to attain His Pleasure and what will cause nearness to Him. This leads him to feel contented with Allah instead of the people, so that prepares him for being at peace with Him alone on the day of loneliness in the grave, when there is no one else to give comfort, nor anyone to grant solace except Him. So this is the greater goal of I’tikaf”.

***

The book Zaad al Ma`aad as well as all other books of Ibn al-Qayyim are amazing works that every Muslim should read. Al-hamdu liLLAH there is a great effort among the followers and revivers of the methodology of the Salaf in translating these books into English. Some of them or part of them are already available. You may want to contact the bookstore of al-Qur’an was-Sunnah Society of North America [USA] or al-Hidaya Publishing in UK.

I`tikaf is the seclusion and staying in the mosque with the intention of becoming closer to Allah. This was the practise of the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, during the last ten days of Ramadan especially. He would do it during other months as well.

‘Aisha reported that the Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, used to practice I`tikaf in the last ten nights of Ramadan and used to say, “Look for the Night of Qadr in the last ten nights of the month of Ramadan.” [Bukhari]

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu ‘anhu said: “Allah’s Messenger, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, used to perform i`tikaf for ten days every Ramadan, then when it was the year in which he was taken (died), he performed I`tikaf for twenty days. [Bukhari]

‘Aisha reported that the Prophet,salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, used to practice I`tikaf in the last ten days of Ramadan till he died and then his wives used to practice I`tikaf after him. [Bukhari]

`Aishah radhiya Allahu `anha also reported that the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, “Used to perform i’tikaf in the last ten days of Ramadan until Allah the Mighty and Majestic, took him. [Bukhari and Muslim]

Al-Bukhari records from Abu Said that the Prophet (S) said: “Whoever makes I`tikaf with me is to make I’tikaf during the last ten [nights].”

This Sunnah of the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, has been abandoned by many Muslims and it is worth reviving it in this era.

Sayyid Sabiq says in Fiqhus-Sunnah :

The sunnah or preferred i`tikaf has no specific time limit. It can be fulfilled by staying in the mosque with the intention of making i`tikaf for a long or short time. The reward will be according to how long one stays in the mosque. If one leaves the mosque and then returns, he should renew his intention to perform itikaf.

Ya’la ibn Umayyah said: “I secluded myself in the mosque for some time for I`tikaf.” ‘Ata told him: “That is I`tikaf, as long as you secluded yourself there.”

One who is performing Sunnah (like in Ramadan) i’tikaf (i.e. not the obligatory one that is made after a vow) may end his i`tikaf at any time, even if it is before the period he intended to stay.

‘Aishah related that if the Prophet intended to make itikaf, he would pray the morning prayer and begin it. One time he wanted to make i`tikaf during the last ten nights of Ramadan, and he ordered his tent to be set up. Aishah reported: “When I saw that, I ordered my tent to be set up, and some of the Prophet’s wives followed suit. When he [the Prophet] prayed the morning prayer, he saw all of the tents, and said: “What is this?” They said: “We are seeking obedience [to Allah and His Messenger].” Then he ordered his tent and those of his wives to be taken down, and he delayed his i`tikaf to the first ten days [of Shawwal].”[Bukhari]

The fact that the Messenger of Allah ordered [his and] his wives’ tents to be struck down and [he himself left and] asked them to leave the i`tikaf after they have made the intention for it shows that they discarded the i`tikaf after they had begun it. (in this small paragraph are some additional comments to clarify things).

It is preferred for the one who is making I`tikaf to perform many supererogatory acts of worship and to occupy himself with prayers, reciting the Qur’an, glorifying and praising Allah, extolling His oneness and His greatness, asking His forgiveness, sending salutations on the Prophet, upon whom be peace, and supplicating Allah – that is, all actions that bring one closer to Allah. Included among these actions is studying and reading books of tafsir and hadith, books on the lives of the Prophets, upon whom be peace, books of fiqh, and so on. It is also preferred to set up a small tent in the courtyard of the mosque as the Prophet did.

Permissible Acts for the Mu`takif (the person performing I`tikaf)

The following acts are permissible for one who is making I’tikaf

(1) The Person may leave his place of I`tikaf to bid farewell to his wife and a Woman can visit her husband who is in I`tikaf}

Safiyyah, radhiya Allahu `anha said : The prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, was making i`tikaf [in the last ten nights of Ramadan], so I came to visit him at night [and his wives were with him and then departed]. I talked with him for a while, then I stood up to leave, [so he said:"Do not hurry for I will accompany you",. He stood along with me to accompany me back -and her dwelling was in the house of Usaamah Ibn Zayd [until when he came to the door of the mosque near the door of Umm Salamah], two men of the Ansaar were passing by, when they saw the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, they hastened by, so the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said : “Be at your ease for she is Safiyyah bintu Huyayy.” So they said:” ‘SubhanAllah, O Messenger of Allah! [we did not have any doubt about you].’ He said: “Indeed Shaytan circulates in the son of Adam just as blood circulates, and I feared that he would insert an evil thought” -or he said : “something – into your hearts” [Bukhari and Muslim, in [] are additional narrations from Abu Dawud]

(2) Combing and cutting one’s hair, clipping one’s nails, cleaning one’s body, wearing nice clothes or wearing perfume are all permissible. ‘Aishah reported: “The Prophet was Performing itikaf and he would put his head out through the opening to my room and I would clean [or comb in one narration] his hair. I was menstruating at the time.” [al-Bukhari, Muslim, and Abu Dawud].

(3) The person may go out for some need that he must perform. ‘Aishah reported: “When the Prophet Performed I`tikaf, he brought his head close to me so I could comb his hair, and he would not enter the house except to fulfill the needs a person has.” [al-Bukhari, and Muslim].

Ibn al-Mundhir says: “The scholars agree that the one who performs itikaf may leave the mosque in order to answer the call of nature, for this is something that he personally must perform, and he cannot do it in the mosque. Also, if he needs to eat or drink and there is no one to bring him his food, he may leave to get it. If one needs to vomit, he may leave the mosque to do so. For anything that he must do but cannot do in the mosque, he can leave it, and such acts will not void his itikaf, even if they take a long time. Examples of these types of acts would include washing one’s self from sexual defilement and cleaning his body or clothes from impurities.”

(4) The person may eat, drink, and sleep in the mosque, and he should also keep it clean.

Actions that Nullify the I`tikaf

If a person performs one of the following acts, his I`tikaf will be nullified:

(1) Intentionally leaving the mosque without any need to do so, even if it is for just a short time. In such a case, one would not be staying in the mosque, which is one of the principles of I`tikaf.

(2) Abandoning belief in Islam, as this would nullify all acts of worship. If you ascribe a partner to Allah, your work will fail and you will be among the losers.

(3) Losing one’s reason due to insanity or drunkenness, or the onset of menstruation or post-childbirth bleeding, all of which disqualifies a person for itikaf.

(4) Sexual intercourse. Allah says [in meaning]: “But do not associate with your wives while you are in seclusion (I`tikaf) in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah. Approach not nigh thereto. Thus does Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may learn self-restraint. [al-Baqara; 2:187]

I`tikaf is not restricted to men only, women also can do it :

‘Aisha (the wife of the Prophet) reported that the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, used to practice I`tikaf in the last ten days of Ramadan till he died and then his wives used to practice I`tikaf after him.[Bukhari]

Dear Sister! when reading this do not forget the modesty and the Hijab of the wife of the Prophet (S) that you should observe if you intend to perform I`tikaf.

3-Seeking Laylatul-Qadr (the Night of Decree)

It is the greatest night of the year like the Day of `Arafah is the greatest day of the year. It is a night about which Allah reveled a full Surah, Suratul-Qadr [97:1-5] and the 3rd to the 6th verses of Surat ad-Dukhan [44:3-6]

It is the night when the Qur’an was revealed.

It is the night when the Message (the Final and seal of all messages) sent to Mohammad, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, started

It is the night when the light, that would illuminate mankind to the end of life, began.

It is the night when every matter of ordainment is decreed.

Allah says in what can be translated as :

“Verily! We have sent it (this Qur’aan) down in the Night of Decree (Lailatul-Qadr). And what will make you know what the Night of Decree is? The Night of Decree is better than a thousand months. Therein descend the angels and the Rooh (ie. Jibreel [Gabriel]) by Allaah’s Permission with all Decrees, Peace! until the appearance of dawn.” [97:1-5]

and in Surat ad-Dukhan :

“We sent it (this Qur’aan) down on a blessed Night. Verily, We are ever warning (mankind of Our Torment). Therein (that Night) is decreed every matter of ordainment. Amran (i.e. a command or this Qur’aan or His Decree of every matter) from Us. Verily, We are ever sending (the Messenger). (As) a Mercy from your Lord. Verily! He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.” [44:3-6]

A person who misses Laylatul-Qadr is really a deprived person!

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said “The blessed month has come to you. Allah has made fasting during it obligatory upon you. During it the gates to Paradise are opened and the gates of Hellfire are locked, and the devils are chained. There is a night [during this month] which is better than a thousand months. Whoever is deprived of its good is really deprived [of something great].” [Ahmad, an-Nisa'i and al-Bayhaqi]

One who misses this blessed night then he has missed much good for no one misses it except one from whom it is withheld. Therefore it is recommended that the Muslim who is eager to be obedient to Allaah should stand in Prayer during this night out of Eemaan and hoping for the great reward, since if he does this, Allaah will forgive his previous sins (1).

What happens to the person who witnesses Laylatul-Qadr? and what should one do?

Abu Hurairah Radhiya Allahu `anhu reported that the Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said : “Whoever stands (in prayer) in Lailatul-Qadr out of Eemaan (faith and sincerity) and seeking reward then his previous sins are forgiven.” [Bukhari]

It is recommended to supplicate a lot during this night, it is reported from our mother ‘Aishah radhiya Allahu `anha, that she said: “O Messenger of Allah! What if I knew which night Lailatul-Qadr was, then what should I say in it?” He said.- “Say.- (Allahumma innaka ‘affuwwun tuhibbul ‘afwa fa’fu ‘annee.)”

“O Allaah You are The One Who pardons greatly, and loves to pardon, so pardon me.”. [at-Tirmithi and Ibn Majah with a Sahih Isnad]

When is Laylatul-Qadr?

It is preferred to seek this night during the last ten odd nights of Ramadan, as the Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam,, strove his best in seeking it during that time. We have already mentioned that the Prophet would stay up during the last ten nights, would wake his wives, and then would remain apart from them to worship.

Ibn Abbas reported that the Prophet (salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Look for the Night of Qadr in the last ten nights of Ramadan ,’ on the night when nine or seven or five nights remain out of the last ten nights of Ramadan.” (i.e. 21, 23, 25, respectively). [Bukhari]

`Aishah radhiya Allahu `anha said: “Allah’s Messenger used to practice I`itikaf in the last ten nights and say: ‘Seek out Lailatul-Qadr in the (odd nights) of the last ten of Ramadan.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

However if the servant is too weak or unable, then he should at least not let the last seven pass him by, due to what is reported from Ibn ‘Umar, who said: Allah’s Messenger said: “Seek it in the last ten, and if one of you is too weak or unable then let him not allow that to make him miss the final seven.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

This explains his saying: “I see that your dreams are in agreement (that it is in the last seven) so he who wishes to seek it out then let him seek it in the last seven.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

It is known from the Sunnah, that knowledge of the exact night upon which Lailatul-Qadr falls was taken up because the people argued, ‘Ubaadah ibn as- Saamit, radiyalloahu ‘anhu, said: The Prophet came out intending to tell us about Lailatul-Qadr, however two men were arguing and he said: “I come out to inform you about Lailatul-Qadr but so and so, and, so and so were arguing, so it was raised up, and perhaps that is better for you, so seek it on the (twenty) ninth and the (twenty) seventh and the (twenty) fifth.” [Bukhari]

Some of the ahadeeth indicate that Lailatul-Qadr is in the last ten nights, while others indicate that it is in the odd nights of the last ten, so the first are general and the second more particular, and the particular has to be given priority over the general. Other ahadeeth state that it is in the last seven – and these are restricted by mention of one who is too weak or unable. So there is no confusion, all the ahadeeth agree and are not contradictory.

In conclusion: The Muslim should seek out Lailatui-Qadr in the odd nights of the last ten: the night of the twenty-first, the twenty-third, the twenty-fifth, the twenty-seventh and the twenty-ninth. If he is too weak or unable to seek it out in all the odd nights, then let him seek it out in the odd nights of the of seven: the night of the twenty-fifth, the twenty-seventh and the twenty-ninth And Allah knows best. (1)

What are the signs of laylatul-Qadr?

Allaah’s Messenger , salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, described the morning after Lailatul-Qadr, so that the Muslim may know which day it is. From Ubayy, radhiya Allahu ‘anhu, who said: that he, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said: “On the morning following Lailatui-Qadr the sun rises not having any rays, as if it were a brass dish, until it rises up.”[Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmithi and Ibn Majah]

Abu Hurairah, radhiya Allahu ‘anhu, said : “We were discussing Lailatul-Qadr in the presence of Allah’s Messenger so he said : ‘Which of you remembers [the night] when the moon arose and was like half a plate?”… [Muslim]

Ibn ‘Abbaas, radhiya Allahu ‘anhuma, said: Allaah’s Messenger, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said: “Lailatul-Qadr is calm and pleasant, neither hot nor cold, the sun arises on its morning being feeble and red.” [at-Tayaalisee, Ibn Khuzaimah and al-Bazzaar with a Hasan Isnad]

We pray to Allah All Mighty Most Merciful to bless us this Ramadan by witnessing Laylatul-Qadr.

A Muslim woman reads a copy of the Quran at the Istiqlal mosque during the second day of ramadan in Jakarta, Indonesia, the world’s most populous Muslim-majority country, on September 2, 2008. (ADEK BERRY/AFP/Getty Images) #

By Nabeel Khan of http://annoor.wordpress.com/

As the blessed month of Ramadhan approaches, we need to prepare for it in such a way that we can gain the maximum benefit of this month. For many, Ramadhan comes and goes. However, very few people actually benefit from this great month.

Our teachers advise us to live the whole year as if we are in the month of Ramadhan. This magnanimous achievement can only be attained when the actual month of Ramadhan is spent properly. In order to acquire a droplet of the reality mentioned above, Insha Allah, I hope to mention ten points that were given as form of advice to me and many others.

1. Discipline:

Most people already know to abstain from eating, drinking, and sexual relations from one’s spouse during the daytime of Ramadhan. However, a level of discipline must be developed to do righteous acts and abstain from those acts which would earn the displeasure of Allah. That was a basic form of discipline that needs to be developed but along with that, one needs to have discipline in following a particular routine or schedule for Ramadhan.

This will be the real life changing factor for an individual. They wake up for suhoor but also pray Tahajjud at that time. Recite some Qur’an. They eat. Make dua’ while waiting for Salah. They pray Fajr. Recite Qur’an and make zikr. Rest if they need to.

The idea is to make a schedule and act accordingly the whole month without sacrificing their schedule. This is the desired discipline that is required.One may ask, “Why did he not just put the first point as a ‘making a schedule’?” Well, the answer is very simple. Anyone can come up with a schedule, but it takes real discipline to abide by it.

2. Devotional life (‘Ibadah):

Ramadhan is the month where Allah allows us to really fulfill the purpose of our being, and the purpose of our creation. Allah created us all to worship Him, and Him alone.Here, I will not mention virtues of various acts or worship because those can be found in the many books on the merits of certain deeds.

However, since Ramadhan and Qur’an are closely connected, I will say that much of our devotional life should be focused on the Qur’an. Reciting at least the entire Qur’an once in this month. Understanding it from erudite scholarship of our community or from accepted commentaries and Tafaaseer.

I am not asking that a person recites the entire Qur’an and completes one entire commentary of it in one month. Perhaps it may be feasible to recite the entire Qur’an and start off a regimen of a Tafseer and try to finish it on an annual basis.

3. Identifying with the Ummah:

It is important that we feel our fast, i.e. feel hunger and thirst. Apart from that, we can use this to our benefit by making other people’s fast count for us as well. This means that if we feed or give to drink something to someone who fasts, we can get the reward of their fast as well.

Another aspect of identifying with the Ummah is to be grateful for whatever Allah has given us and realize that a little of that we need to give to others so that they may have a decent Ramadhan and wonderful ‘Eid. See what the Ummah is going through and see how we can actively participate to help the Ummah in any way possible.

4. Contact with the Qur’an:

Ramadhan is the month wherein the Qur’an was revealed. This is the month of the Qur’an. It is extremely essential to establish a relationship with the Qur’an. Without going into much detail, I will just mention something practical with regards to the Qur’an and Ramadhan.For the average person, i.e. one who is not scholar or is not a Hafiz, they should read at least one juz per day so that they finish at a minimum one entire Qur’an for the month of Ramadhan.

If one can do more, than Alhamdulillah, no one is stopping anyone.The next thing is to understand the Qur’an. So take the first volume of Ma’ariful Qur’an (for example) and read one section of the Arabic part (if one can) and then read the translation, then read the commentary. Do this every day without fail. Obviously the whole commentary will not be completed in one month, but at least a schedule to read a portion regularly will be developed and hopefully within a year it could be completed.

Also, one should try to memorize those chapters/surahs which are read often like Mulk, Kahf, Ya Seen, Waqi’ah, and Sajdah. Also memorize Surahs from the last juz at least and more if possible.

5. Mujahadah:

Ramadhan is a month of sacrifice and struggle. It is a month where Allah wants our time, our health, our wealth, and our whole being. We literally live the whole year for everything and anything. It is just one month…can we not live one month solely for our Creator?!

So what if we have to sacrifice our sleep, and random other luxuries that we can do without anyway. As the saying goes, “No pain, no gain.” The amount of sacrifice and struggle we put into this month, Allah will reward us in this world and the next accordingly.Give yourself to Allah, and see what Allah has in store for you.

6. Dua’:

The essence of worship is supplication to Allah. This whole month, Allah is willing and readily open to accept all that we ask of Him. It is only to our own loss and detriment that we lack in begging Allah for the things we need.

Prioritize your supplications. Ask firstly for yourself, then your family, community, then the Ummah at large. Within that, prioritize and ask for things pertaining to the hereafter, then ask for things pertaining to this world.Just remember one thing when it comes to dua’, the point of dua’ is not that we need something or we need protection or refuge from some other thing, the point is that Allah told us to supplicate to Him, and that is why one should make dua’ abundantly. There are certain things Allah loves to do, and one of them is to answer the supplications of His servants who call unto Him.

One final aspect regarding dua’ is crying or pretending to cry. Tears are something foreign to Allah and therefore He has immense value for tears. The whole year we become filthy and impure spiritually by sinning, Ramadhan is the month where we purify our spirits by bathing our spirits in our tears.

7. Good Company:

Ramadhan is a month to maximize on good deeds and keep bad deeds at zero. Being in the company of the righteous will allow one to attain this goal. I will keep this point short. The minimum benefit one gets by being in good company is that one will not sin which in turn will cause one to become the greatest worshiper.

There is a hadith reported in Tirmidhi wherein An-Nabi (Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa Sallam) took Abu Hurayrah’s (Radhiyallahu ‘anhu) hand and said, “O Abu Hurayrah, abstain from all prohibitions and you will become the best worshiper.”The maximum benefit is that being with the people of Allah, Insha Allah; a person may just Attain Allah. What can be greater?!

8. Gratitude:

The secret to an increase in anything is to be thankful for it. To make sure that we see this month the next year, appreciate it this year. Be thankful for all that we have in every aspect, even the basic things we neglect and take for granted. We have Iman, we have Islam. Alhamdulillah, we are the best Ummah. We have been given the best book, i.e. the Qur’an.

The best way to appreciate a bounty is to use it for its purpose. Allah has blessed with infinite blessing and bounties. Ramadhan is one of those bounties, so to fully appreciate Ramadhan, we must spend it the way Allah would like us to spend it and attain out goal which is Taqwa.

9. Following the Sunnah:

Anything of the beloved is also beloved. That is a principle of love. Allah has proclaimed the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa Sallam) as His beloved. If we follow the Sunnah and show a resemblance, then we can also gain the focus of Allah. Particularly follow the Sunnah acts which the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa Sallam) performed in Ramadhan.

If we have to do something, might as well do it the best way possible. The best way for anything to be done is the way of the Sunnah. If by any chance it was some other way, Allah would have had His Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa Sallam) do it that way then.

10. Istiqamah:

Imam Junayd Al-Baghdadi (RA) said, “Steadfastness is greater than a thousand miracles.” Please do not tire one’s self out in the initial stages of Ramadhan, rather figure out a routine that works and stick to it regularly. The most beloved of actions to Allah are those that are done consistently even though they may seem minor.

We all need to be thankful for the good that we have done and also for the evil we are able to abstain from. We also need to be thankful for whatever level of steadfastness that we have. We want to make Ramadhan last beyond Ramadhan as well.

I’ll end with a quote from one of our mashaaikh, Shaykh In’aam-ul-Hasan Kandehlawi (RA) said, “Whoever lives their life as they do in Ramadhan, then death will come to that person just as the moon of ‘Eid comes for the fasting person.”

To conclude, we pray to Allah that He accepts all of our efforts and overlooks and forgives all of our shortcomings. Aameen.