Joke: Woman goes shopping at the husband store
Zawaj.com’s Islamic Humor Files
Shopping at the Husband Store
I first spotted this joke on Ummah1 and then looked it up and found that it’s widely circulated on the internet. I have adapted it slightly for a Muslim audience:
A brand new store has just opened that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the husbands increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any husband from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.
So, a Muslim woman goes to the Husband Store to find a Muslim husband.
- The 1st floor sign on the door reads: Floor 1: These men have good Islamic character.
- The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2: These men have good character and good jobs.
- The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have good character, jobs, and love children.
- “Alhamdulillah,” the woman thinks, “These are some good prospects.” But she thinks she can do better and and she feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
- Floor 4: These men have good character, jobs, love children and are extremely handsome.
- “Oh, SubhanAllah!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it! I have to see what else is up there!”
- She goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5: These men have good character, jobs, love children, are extremely handsome, help with the housework, and are romantic and tender.
- She is so tempted to stay, she doesn’t want to settle if there’s something even better. She goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6: You are visitor 1,500,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please. Please exit on your right.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that are beautiful and love sex, but have no other redeeming qualities.
The 2nd, 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.