Rights of Children Born Out of Wedlock
Okay, the photo is not directly related to the article, I just thought it was very funny, this baby who fell asleep on a shoe. - Zawaj.com Editor
| Date: 05/Aug/2003
Name of Mufti: Group of Muftis Topic: Rights of Children Born out of Wedlock Name of Questioner: A Muslim from USA Question: Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. I am a Muslim male convert from USA. I have two children from before I accepted Islam and they were both born out of wedlock in an unlawful relationship before I met my wife. Since accepting Islam I gained custodial rights over them but not custody. They live with me and my wife who also have two children and of course I care for and maintain them. I call them son (6) and daughter (5) and they call me father. My wife calls them step-son and daughter and they call her step-mother. I have learned that in Islam, children of zina are not ascribed to the father and that there is no parent/child rights between them. They are considered orphans and there is no term as step-parent. Having said all of this back ground info., my question is what are the relations between us according to Shari`ah? Should I allow them to know they are orphans? If their birth mother wants them back though she refuses acceptance of Islam should I allow them to leave my home to live with her? If I am not considered their father than what is our duty to them and them to us? Jazakum Allah khayran. |
Answer:
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother in Islam, we commend your pursuit of knowledge and your keenness to seek what is lawful and avoid what is not. We earnestly implore Allah to bless your efforts in this honorable way.
First of all, it is to be stated that adultery and producing a child out of wedlock is indeed an enormous sin in Islam. However, a non-Muslim who embraces Islam should be assured of the promise of the Messenger of Allah who said,“Islam wipes out all of one’s past sins.” In other words, on becoming a Muslim every single sin you had committed in the past, no matter how enormous and ugly they were, will be blotted out, and thus once again you will become like a new born baby, and hence free of all sins. Furthermore, Allah’s infinite compassion is such that while, upon embracing Islam, you are absolved of all of your past sins, you carry over to Islam all of the good deeds you ever happened to do in the past: It is indeed a double mercy.
Secondly, as for the child born out of wedlock, like every other child, he or she is born sinless; it does not carry the stigma of the sin of the father or mother or both. A basic principle in Islamic justice is that no one bears the blame for another’s fault. A child born as a result of an illegitimate relationship suffers no adverse discrimination on account of his parents’ sin.
Responding to the question in point,Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:
“The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said that Islam removes the sins of the past. Since you accepted Islam, Inshaa’Allah you will receive the forgiveness for your past sins.
Since you acknowledge that those children are yours, you are their father and they are your children. They are not orphans as long as you are alive. If you want to take care of them, then you should do that, but if their mother wants them, that is acceptable.
Most importantly, try to raise them as Muslims. Because this thing happened before Islam, these children will inherit from you if they are Muslims, but if they do not accept Islam, then they will not have the rights of inheritance from you. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said that a Muslim doesn’t inherit from a non-Muslim and a non-Muslim doesn’t inherit from a Muslim. However, you are allowed to give them a share from your will, which should not be more than 1/3 of your assets.”
In this respect, the prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Iqbal Nadvi, Imam of Calgary Mosque, Alberta, Canada, and Former Professor at King Saud University, Riyad, Saudi Arabia, adds:
“The children born out of wedlock deserve all the care they need as children; thus you should provide them with all the requirements and elements to make them succeed in this life.
They are not responsible for the past deeds of their parents. However, the attribution of the child’s name to the father is based on the acceptance of the father. If he approves of it, then he/she can be named after him.”
- IslamOnline.net
You’ll notice that children born from zinaa are simply referred to in the article as “children born out of wedlock”, which is a straightforward description of the facts. They are NOT described as “illegitimate” as is often done in the West. No human being is illegitimate. We are all creatures of Allah, beings of free will, made to worship and excel. No child carries the sin of his parents. No human being is illegitimate.
I am a non Muslim women living in the united state. When I was 18 years of age I had relations with a Muslim man as 18 yrs. We attended high school together and continued our relationship. I then becam pregnant a month later. During this notion of pregnancy we were both aware and excited. Then came the day jawad came to say he was leaving to afghanistan to return home. I was left alone and pregnant… Our daughter 16yes of age has never met nor seen a picture of jawad. Is it sinful on his part to denie his own daughter? Regradless if he has married and has children. Does he break any Muslim laws??
Please! Reply.. I would love for our daughter to met him just once to fill the void of emptiness and denial.
Thank you kindly
Michelle
My husband committed adultry and says he fathered a child out of wedlock, what is his responsibility and what is mine.
as salaamu alikom brothers and sisters.alhamdulilah i have found this website.inshaAllah i hope that i get any answer since i have sort of a similar situation as the sister above.i have been married to my husband for ever 5 years and have 3 young children together.he is egyptian so we live in egypt.we have had a rough marriage and for the past 11 months, we have been seperated keeping contact because of our children.at the beging of the seperation,we began the process in the family courts that i would not return to his home and he wrote a contract that he would divorce me in less than a month,but never did.since it was my desision to leave his home due to X reasons,i have let the children stay with him through out the week while i work to survive and then i take them on the weekends. My point is,that i made the horrific mistake of living alone,and got into a haraam relationship for a few months.i became pregnant as a result.the man turned out to be abusive and would leave me for weeks at a time and then return literally twisting my arm forcing marriage with me,and if i didnt comply he would go to my work and accuse me with being with many men.in those times that he would leave me,(since he was practicly living in my home) in desperation and after consulting with some friends whom i thought were knowledgable,told me it was fine to find a husband fast since techniqly i was not with my husband anymore.I met some 3 men in public that had wanted to marry me and knew my entire situation.it never felt right and in all of this time,i couldnt bring my self to make a single salah let alone istikhara since i thought i was too sinful.alhamdulilah,they all showed their true colors very soon and i realized none of them wanted a seriouse marriage with me.I researched on line a month and a half ago to find fatwahs concerning my situation and thought if i make tawbah and begin a clean slate perhaps the father of my unborn baby might be the right one for me and i told him my new improved thinking and he agreed that we would do it together.not one week passed and he was forcfully trying to get back into my apartment.i hesitated but i failed and Allah swt put this test to see if i was sincere about my repentance.I FAILED.i told him i never wanted to see him again and told him to leave the next morning.in this one last night he was with me,he stole all my numbers out of my mobile and later i found out he interviewed the 3 men that i had talked to about marriage.he became so jelouse that he even called my girl friends and coworkers and my (ex)husband and sent msg’s on my jobs website to exposse me as a whore that played with many men.i ended up telling my (ex)husband everything in detail and told him that i would give him the legal custody of our children and i remade my tawbah that day.I told him that i was ready for any punishment in this dunya from him since legaly he had right and that my life was so in ruin that i didnt know what to do.i forgave me and said that this man i had an affair with had to leave the picture,and that in due time,he would deal with him.in this past month i lost my job and this man harassed me some more by giving out my number to many unknown men that stopped in a week. i realized the great man that my (ex)husband is and have began feeling love for him like i never did in our marriage time.i didnt appreciate or respect him enough to see how merciful he is and that he might love me.i have prayed that he would take me back,but he has made it clear that he will stand by me (still being seperate) until the baby is born and prtect me away from this man.to his islamic knowledge we have concluded that the baby will take his name and that i will be able to keep the child with me at all times and that we must never tell our children that this baby doesnt belong to him rather that they are all siblings and where produced by me and him.I feel desperate since it is a great help that he has sided with me when all the world has felt to be tummbleing on me,but i still feel so afraid.i want to be married,being under the complete protection of a man in his home for the spritual,emotional and economical support.i am in my 6th 1/2th of pregnancy and have no income,no husband,no friends, and i have no idea of what to do next.i fear that this man since i am not from this country,will pay off the hospitals since he know the due date and will try to take the baby away,he also told me that he would take me to court if i interfeared in his life to accuse him of having a child with him and he will say that i slept and lured him to my bed so that they will give him the baby.my biggest fear as i have mentioned is of being alone as a muslim woman in a forigen country.please tell me what i should do next. Jazakallahu khairun
Sister asiyah, I suggest that you submit your question at our sister site IslamicAnswers.com, and maybe we can give you some answers there Insha’Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor