Muslim Matrimonials and More

Articles and Essays on Marriage and Family in Islam


The Westernized Muslim Wedding of Today

By Reeaz H Paruk


The Western Whirlwind of Destruction which has been constantly blowing across this country for decades and undermining the morals of the Youth, of more recent times has found new victims in young men Muslim men and women who appear to be voluntarily stepping into its evil path. And whilst this "Tornado of the West" is leaving in its wake a continuous trail of crushed moral values amongst our young brothers and sisters, the parents are openly and unashamedly displaying an attitude of incredible irresponsibility by aiding and abetting the youngsters in their suicidal ventures.

Clear evidence of this gross misbehaviour can be found, for instance, at Muslim weddings and engagement parties where the type of conduct reminiscent of the western way of life is fully exercised in its most naked form, where Muslim men and women, boys and girls, act and do things that have nothing in common with the actions and doings of true Muslims. Indeed, some of the formalities which are considered indispensable (by modern standards) at these gatherings are in diametric conflict with Islam and reminiscent of the times of jahiliyyah (ignorance).

Notwithstanding the fact that western-styled garments are designed primarily to emphasize the shape of the female body and to attract the attention of members of the opposite sex, these immodest apparels are worn by Muslim women who, in anticipation of the opportunity to show themselves off at impending weddings or engagements, start making preparations on a lavish scale by acquiring the more "modern" versions of these abominably styled clothing. What is even more deplorable is the practice of equipping the bride with several of these immodestly designed suits, and subjecting her to a most humiliating display on an elaborately prepared stage after clothing her in an exquisite western wedding gown and obliterating all her natural beauty with western cosmetics. And to ensure perfection in the scrupulously observed rituals of the west, the bride is provided with a retinue of bridesmaids, flower-girls and page-boy, with their faces similarly disfigured with the same satanic object of attracting the maximum of lustful stares. Crowds of people, including fashionably dressed men, are then allowed to queue up to see the "puppet show" and quench their unholy thirsts whilst trampling under their feet all Islamic standards of modesty.

This slaughter of Islamic morals and principles by no means ends here. Some parents even go further and not only permit but actively encourage couples to meet and speak, dine and dance and roam around together in cars in blatant violation of the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.). These extremely dangerous divergences from traditional Islamic precepts are becoming more and more common, and their perpetrators more and more shameless. In some Muslim weddings, even dancing forms part of these revolting innovations. In the words of Dr E.S. Sonners, " dancing is fundamently sinful and evil.....It is nothing more or less than damnable, diabolical, animal, physical dissipation". It is not certainly not beyond one's imagination to think of the lustful gazes and corruption of the minds of young, impressionable audiences which such diabolical displays are bound to cause. And as an ironical prelude, some invitation cards printed to advertise these most insidious and sinful programmes are headed: "In the Name of Allah.......". What a mockery of Islamic ethics!

The following are some of the practices that are meticulously carried out during matrimonial affairs despite the fact that they are either expressly forbidden in Shariah, or have no bases in Islam:

  1. The engaged couple meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring onto her finger whilst the two look romantically at each other. This act is void of modesty and completly foreign to Islamic culture. It is furthermore, a flagrant violation of the Quranic Law of Purdah. It is an evil innovation of the godless west , and those indulging in it should take cognizance of the Prophet's stern warning that "those who imitate others will rise on the Day of Judgement as of them".
  2. The prohibition in Islam of the gathering and free mixing of the sexes is nowhere else more flagrantly violated than at engagement and wedding feasts. Members of both sexes, young and old, are accomodated in the same tent or hall without so much as a curtain partition between them and to add insult to injury, women, including immodestly dressed young spinsters, are waited upon by men. What shameless impudence on the part of the organisers, who appear to be blissfully unaware of the tremendous responsibility which they must shoulder for the resultant decline in the moral standard of the Muslims.
  3. Another very indecent practice copied from the west is the appearance on the stage together of the married couple after the Nikah. Here, the new husband presents his bride with a wedding ring, kisses her, and then (in a growing number of cases) allows his friends to kiss her too! and that in full view of the hundreds of guests! This is indeed the total and tragic destruction of Islamic modesty and shame.
  4. It has become a normal thing at Muslim weddings for the bridegroom to appear before his mother-in-law to be showed with confetti and gifts of rings, ties, hankies, etc. in full view of women guests whose envious eyes and flattering tongues add to the morbidity of the whole act.
  5. The parents take great pride in making a public display of the bride's "trousseau", and advertising all the individual items therein, thus wasting valuable time and effort which could otherwise have been more fruitfully spent in teaching the bride how to conduct herself with credit in her new responsiblities. This show (of the "trousseau") is motivated by the spiritually destructive elements of "riya"(ostentation) and "takabbur"(pride).
  6. A large number of Nikah are performed in a specially rented hall or tent. The Mosque as a central pivot of all Muslim religious activity is often ignored. It is no exaggeration to say that many people regard a Nikah at the Musjid as "inconvient" simply because they are well aware that some of their ill-conceived western rituals are too shameless to be permitted there. However, according to the Tradition of the Prophet(S.A.W.) marriages performed in the House of Allah, immediately preceded and followed by prayers, will attract the maximum of Allah's Blessings, whereas this is not, and cannot, be the case where alternative venues are chosen with the express purpose of facilitating the performance of things Un-Islamic.
  7. Many people are known to be labouring under the misconception that the conduction of marriages on certain specific Islamic dates is contrary to Islamic Law. Such beliefs are not only unfounded, but are also against the grain of common sense. Likewise, the notion that it is incumbent upon the bride to spend her first Ramadaan and Eid after marriage at the parents' home has no basis in Islam.

In recent years, more and more innovatory and satanic western practices have been added by the Muslim commercial elites whose coffers are bursting at the seams as a result of the inflationary trends and economic booms of the past decade. Among these are the European-orientated fashions of printing expensive, pictorially-embossed "thank you" cards, and, more despicably, the insidious practice of a male member of the family escorting the bride arm-in-arm from the comparative seclusion of her home, through the mixed crowd of envious guests, right on to the stage for the ultimate "puppet" show, and all these farcical and morbid, soul-destroying scenes being "shot" for posterity by specially appointed and professionally equipped "video and photography" teams, with a fully fledged and "high ranking" musical band in close attendance! Within the self-same decade, the progressive deterioration of the bride's wedding-day garments from bad to worse in the very latest and obnoxious "see-thru" materials has been causing grave misgivings among the Ulama , many of whom are known to have turned down invitations from close acquaintances for fear of being confronted with scenes too shameless to comprehend. Several more instances can be cited where a great deal of expense and trouble are incurred over acts that are counter-productive of Islamic ethical and moral values. It is a tragic fact that each year hundreds of thousands of Ranks are squandered in the process of upholding and intensifying these senseless, soul-destroying procedures.

"Lo! the squanderers were ever brothers of the devils, and the devil was ever an ingrate to his Lord." (xvii-27) "The best of marriage is one over which the least trouble and expense have been incurred" is a most off-flouted maxim of the Holy Prophet(S.A.W.). The Great Master's sound teachings have been thoughlessly and savagely thrown overboard and substituted by the fast-decaying cultural values of the godless west.

Someone was heard to remark at a recent wedding reception: "Here is part of the reason for the drought....and for escalating Muslim divorce rate....(to heights unknown in previous generations)....and for the downward plunge of the Muslims.... into the abyss of physical and spritual this world and the next......"

May Allah grant Hidaayat, to one and all! Aameen


Articles Muslim Matrimonials and More