Islamic marriage advice and family advice

15 years old and in love

teenage teacher student

Assalam-O-Alaikum...!

I'm 15 year old and I'm in love with a boy who is also 15. He's my neighbour. We know each other since 3 years and we love each other a lot but we're too young to get married. He told his parents about me and they don't say anything and my mother also knows about him. She met her once. But my father don't know anything about him and even if I tell him he will kill me probably. In fact he's a nice boy, he's protective, he always helps to stay away from sins and asks me to wear hijaab. But we did a mistake - we've held hands once just for a minute or two. We talk daily on cell phone through texts or once or twice we've called. We want to be together in near future through marriage but I really don't know what to do now? Because there is too much time left in marriage. My mother ask me not to talk him but I get angry. I'm very possessive about him... and I really want to know what Islam says about it. Am I doing wrong?? Plzzzz help me staying away from sin.

malee056

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4 Responses »

  1. 15 and in love? It's puppy love, you're sooooo young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I was once like you too, but can I just say that you're going to meet plenty of guys? You're only 15, you literally have years to settle down and think about marriage, you should be focusing on school, and teenage stuff. Enjoy your youth years, don't do anything with this guy because you think "you're in love" with him, I don't want you doing anything you might regret. Idk your family but if I went to my family at the age of 15 saying I'm in love and I want to get married, they would prob just laugh in my face lol. But yeah focus on you and school and being a teen, boys can come after

  2. Dear Malee056,

    In islam it is forbidden to have friendship or premartial relationship with the opposite gender.
    One of the major sin is having boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.

    Your repected mother is correct in this regard that you shouldn't talk to him. So please don't talk to this guy.

    You should reserve your feelings and heart for your future spouse. And if this guy is in your destiny as your future spouse then in shaa Allah let destiny to bring you together at a right time when you both can fully stand on your own two feet (education and financial is very important to live a stable life)

    You are young but at the same time life moves on.fast. And before you know it you will be in your mid 20s and during this speed of time you will experience and face many situations (good and bad). But in shaa Allah with right decisions you make at each stage of your life you won't regret even if things dont go your way because you will realise at the end it was for.the best the way things turn out, in shaa Allah.

    My advice is to tell this guy that it is not appropriate for you to keep any relationship outside of marriage. Tell him to let's get a bit older (ie at least 21) and then if we are still compatible then we should consider marriage.

    In.shaa Allah make good decision for your Hereafter. Don't let shaytan play around with your decision making process. Pray to Allah swt as often as possible to guide you to sirtual mustaqeem.

    Best wishes,

    - Me

  3. If you really want to know what islam say about this all...

    then the final point is that islam says to obey and respect your parents .
    Thats what islam says, obey your mother otherwise you will regret.
    and about your boy, islam hasnt stated anything about love etc .. Rather it has forbidden such friendships and haram feelings. Seriously you both are too young, your preferences and thoughts will be changed with time. Give yourself a break.

  4. Salam
    My advice would be to have sabr. You are very young, at 15 and everything seems so easy and straightforward but adult life brings with it many complications and difficulties that you can't even imagine at that age. I believe between the age of 16-20 a person really matures from a child to an adult. This also changes your viewpoint on things. I would just wait it out and see how things pan out. Don't make it your main focus in life getting married to this guy because then once you have you won't have any purpose left and you won't feel fulfilled in your life. Focus on your own wishes and what you want to do for yourself first and when the time is right your marriage might work out with this guy. For the meantime just cut off ties with him altogether because one thing leads to another in this kind of relationship and you will regret it later. And if it is the right person you can wait for a few years. There is nothing wrong with getting married young but things tend to work out better in the long run when both the people are mature and have developed their own identity first and although at 15 you think you have done all the growing up you need to, let me tell you honey bo bo you haven't. 🙂

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