Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am 17 and want to get married in order to avoid sin

The Right Girl

The Right Girl

Assalamulaikum everyone i have some marriage questions and i hope you can help me

I'm 17 (turning 18 soon) im thinking to marry this girl. I like this girl and i would like to marry her because I'm very religious so to prevent any sins or get tempted to do anything bad with this girl.

I want to get married so we can do it the halal way because dating doesn't exist in Islam. So i would just like to know if there is any du'a for getting married and how does marriage Istikharah work?

I havent mentioned this to my parents yet because im still thinking about it because marriage is a serious matter so I'm just taking a while and this girl is religous also but my parents dislike her because of the past events but they dont know her now because she changed (ma sha Allah) how can i tell my parents about this matter?

Thanks!

- nazmin12345


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3 Responses »

  1. It's good that you want to avoid sins and do it in halal way it's very good I appreciate your courage and the way you thinking about how to ignore haram things. But brother you are so young you think your parents will agree if you want to marry? If yes then no worry because you i am sure you know what married life means? It's not only marrying a girl or boy there are so many responsibilities from both partners and this responsibility grow and grow till your death.

    My brother also got married when he was 17 and she was 15. My parents agreed because my brother was also was afraid about he will do sin and my father is very religious and he smeared this stuff. After married my father gave all the expenses because my brother was student and no job after he graduate he got a good job alhumdullilah and he repay my father monthly (my father didn't asked nor he did it as a loan it's was my brother own choice I don't know if there is any islamic rule) then he finished his phd then he fully paid my sis in law mahra. Now my brother is 41 with two kids.

    Here are few articles when you get time read it first..

    http://www.sunnah.org/msaec/articles/responsibilities_husband.htm
    http://blog.iloveallaah.com/2012/03/rights-of-the-husband-and-the-wife/

    In your post you mention the the girl you wish to get married had bad past? What dose that mean sorry? I don't know the bad history butas your parents think he was not good it. Will be very very hard for you to convince your parents if you have any elder brother or sisters and get help from them or anyone who can speak to your parents.

    Remember the girl you wish to marry make sure she do tawba for her sins and ask for forgiveness to Allah make sure she do it sincerely. And also you have to look that the girl you want to marry she is practicing woman because when you will have kids your wife will be the teacher towards your children's to teach about islam more then you, and has a good behaviour towards other because after marriage of course you won't expect her to behave rude or childish towards your parents.

    Lastly do perform isthikhara. In this web top of the page it's described how to do it. May Allah make your path easier because your intention is clean and good and if you do it sincerely then surely Allah will help you.

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      Sister I strongly advise you to avoid going to Sunnah.org....it's not actually of website of "the sunnah."

  2. Walaykumsalaam Nazmin12345,

    How can you tell your parents? Just tell them. The anticipation leading up to 'telling' them is usually worse than when you blurt it out.

    Maasha'Allah you want to marry and not date. Just be sure that the reason you want to marry is not only because you feel temptations. Marriage is for life, not just for a short while i.e. 'fun' and 'dating'.

    Do it the sensible way: speak to your parents first, because anyhow you get to know her, develop feelings and then your parents don't approve, you'll have major issues. So convince your parents to give her a chance. Approach her family with your parents. Get to know her with a view to marriage through family, do all your research and then do istikhara and take it from there.

    In the meantime, lower your gaze, fast, pray and ask Allah to protect you from your desires.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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