Islamic marriage advice and family advice

18, Pregnant and Nowhere to Go

Pregnant teen

Pregnant.

salams to my brothers and sisters,

I am 18 years old and I am 2 months pregnant by a non-Muslim man. I just recently had a baby who is 4 months old. I stay with the mother of my child's father, because i was kicked out my mothers house due to my first pregnancy.

I told the father and his mother about the pregnancy and they BOTH told me I HAVE to get an abortion in order to stay there.

I have no where to go and no one to turn to. I have been trying to find somebody i can stay with but i have nobody. I even got in touch with long-lost friends and asked them could i stay with them but everybody said NO.

I'm trying to graduate high school in Jan 2013 but if i keep this baby i will not have the help that i have now.

What should i do? i dont have a job. I cant go to a shelter because my baby is to young to be in that type of environment. Should i get the abortion to think about the well-being of my first child or should i keep the baby and be put on the street with my babies? Please somebody respond asap i need help!

- muslimah18

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16 Responses »

  1. Hello! Im not going to say what you already have heard over and over, not here to judge you. Please, do not abort this baby!!!! Go to a shelter, ask for help there. There are programs for women like you, they can help you get back on your feet with your babies. Leave the man, file for child support. Finish high school and raise your children!! Where are you? In the USA??

    • yes the usa and i live in chicago ill

      • Ok you are not far from me at all!!! Can i please please help you??? Anything you need, but dont dont abort your baby. I have a newborn, i can hand you down what i dont need! Possibly help you get back on your feet. Remember there is always a light at the end of the tunell! And living in the usa you know there are many resources, you can still go to school and get free daycare, free food, free medical care atleast until you can take care on our own. We also have a good muslim community here in wisconsin. We can help u and the babies!!!!

        • I will put the two of you in touch Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • ok thankyou soooo much may allah bless you all.....my email is **** is there anything else you all need from me????

          • Meanwhile why dont you contact your local mosque and see how they can help? Also, go on craigs list! There are people who give tons of baby stuff for free all the time!!! 🙂 I can even help you apply for benefits!!! As soon as we get in touch we can arrange meeting inshallah! And dont panic everything will be fine inshallah! Dont stress out as this is also not good for neither of your babies! talk to you soon!!!

        • muslimah18, please don't post your contact info here. I already have your email and sister Amira's as well. One of us Editors will put you in contact with each other Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Dear Sister, As-salamu alaykum,

    What city do you live in? Let us know, and we might be able to put you in touch with someone who can help, Insha'Allah. I am not promising anything, but we will try.

    Alternatively, we might be able to mediate between you and your parents, and get you back in your parents' home. That is really the best place for you. I know they are angry with you, but maybe when they see their grandchild they will realize that the priority is for you to be safe and taken care of.

    I believe you should keep your baby. Abortion is forbidden in Islam, and the child is innocent in this matter. The baby has a right to life.

    Your situation is dire, and I know you don't need a lecture, but these posts and comments are ready by many people, and it's important to point out that your situation is a result of your own choices. You chose to sleep with a non-Muslim man, and then to do it again even after you already had one baby. You chose to disobey Allah and live this lifestyle. You chose not to use birth control. You made choices.

    Sister, you need to take a long, hard look at the choices you are making. The lifestyle you are living is not getting you anywhere but in trouble. I am not saying that becoming a good Muslim will magically solve all your problems. Your situation is difficult. But at least you will be on the right path, and moving toward truth, and guidance, and Jannah, Insha'Allah.

    Anyway, please let us know what country and city you are in, or if you like we can contact you by email, Insha'Allah, and try to help you. We will do what we can to make sure you don't end up on the street.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. usa chicago, il

  4. Dear Sister
    Where u from. Inshallah i will contact you as soon. But as sister amira says never abort that child. Never be hopeless and believe in Allah. Are you a born muslima or revert.If nobody is ready to adopt your child, then i am ready bcoz i am a Revert Muslim. Currently in Saudi Arabia working as a Personal Trainer.

    Jazaqallah khair

    • Asif, I removed your email address. The sister is not looking for someone to adopt her child, and I don't see what help you can possibly offer unless you are willing to make a donation to help the sister, in which case we will facilitate it. There is no need for you to have any contact with the sister.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. You may want to go to your local Social Service Agency. They may be able to provide you with emergency housing along with food stamps and medicaid to cover the cost of the birth and the health care for the child you already have. Since you are trying to finish high school, a social worker at the agency may be able to help you figure out how to do that. Also, does your local high school have a day care with in the building as some high schools do. Also, you may want to speak with the guidance counselor in your school as she can put you in touch with agencies that may be able to help you as well as work out your graduation track with you. Best of luck. Stay strong. My prayers are with you.

  6. Aslamualequm Bro Walel
    If i made a mistake please forgive me. I was put my email bcoz she said nobody want to adopt hdr child and accept herself. But if you think its wrong please forgive me. I am new in Islam i wrote which i think is right. Allah knows every thing and every heart.

    Jazaqallah khair

  7. All you have to do is go to local public aide office tell them you need somewhere to live asap with your baby your life is being altered by people who do not care about you you can get a job too and housing. un- till your ready to move forward from people who keep you down just do it go ask your local masq too and forget dumppy people

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