Islamic marriage advice and family advice

can a sunni girl marry a shia boy?

can a sunni girl marry a shia boy?

- aa

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  1. As-salamu alaykum aa. In general the answer is yes, there is no problem with a marriage between Sunni and Shi'ah. In some countries (such as Iraq) it is very common.

    However, you should know that there are several types of Shi'ah.

    There are Zaydi Shiah, who are not far from Sunnis in belief.

    The Twelve Imam Shiah (also called Jafari) represent the majority of Shiah; they have some important differences from Sunnis but again it's not an insurmountable obstacle, as long as they do not curse the Sahabah or pronounce takfeer on Sunnis, seeing them as unbelievers.

    Then there are the Ismaili Shiah, which includes sects like the Dawoodi Bohras in India, Alawis in Syria, and Druze in Lebanon and Syria. Here the situation becomes more problematic, because the Ismailis tend to be far from Sunnis in their belief and practice. Many of them do not believe in salat, do not fast, and follow false prophets who came after Muhammad (pbuh). Often they are secretive in their beliefs and sometimes even the followers do not know the true beliefs.

    In the case of the Druze, for example, they believe in reincarnation, they reject the Shariah, and they do not allow marriage to non-Druze in any case.

    The Alawis (who currently hold power in Syria) believe that Ali (ra) was God incarnate (astaghfirullah), and that Ali created Muhammad (pbuh), who in turn created Salman Al-Farisi (ra). This is their "Trinity". They also do not believe that women have souls, so women are never taught Alawi beliefs. Strangely enough, they celebrate Easter and Christmas, hold a ritual similar to Christian mass, and they believe that a sinful Alawi is reincarnated as a Christian. It sounds bizarre, but I am not making it up, you can look it up yourself in any encylopedia.

    As you can imagine, a marriage between a Sunni and an Ismaili Shiah would not be appropriate.

    So you need to know more about the Shiah boy and what his beliefs are. Remember that one of the goals of marriage is to have children and raise them as good Muslims, following the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh). If the marriage would lead to some other path than this, then it is not productive from an Islamic viewpoint.

    • sir you have stated good reasons but i disagree on one that the person who belive Ali (a-s) god are shia. they are not shia they are nosehries non muslim.

    • Brother Wael ,

      You have written very nicely and easy to understand .It was very useful and informative to me .
      Your post made me to google key words from your post a lot about alwaites ,syrian sects and different branches of shias .
      There is no doubt these are deviated sects .May Allah give hidayah to people and give power to right Sunni people in syria .

  2. suppose agar kisi shia ka rihsta kesi sunni k larki k ley ata ha r woh kheta ha us ne apna mazhab 5 yearz s chorwa ha r woh loog pure shia nahi hen un k parentz jaty hen majlioso ma bt kam bt woh larka nahi jata ha r woh loog yeh kherey hen larki shadi k bad jesy chaey rahy uski marzi hogii to kia krna cahey plz any one tell me larka suniio ki masjido ma jata ha r roza wagera b sunioo waly rakhty hen to kia karen ??????? un k parentz b razi hen k larki jesy cahye rahy koi zbrdasti nahi ha

  3. It depends if both of them are practising and how tolerant you are. Two of my friends( husband=Shia,

    wife = Sunni) have a very successful marriage, but the wife is a non- practising Sunni from Turkey and

    he's a non-practising Shia from Iran. Whenever he comes to the mosque in Muharram for example or

    15th Shahaban, his wife doesn't come with him and that seems to be ok for him, as his wives doesn't like

    mosques in general. So it's also an individual issue.

    Normally, Shias are twelve-Imam Shias, the first category Wael described.

    There aren't so many Ismailis out there; In Sunni islam , we have e.g. the Wahabis in Saudi Arabia

    who follow Ibn Taymiah or the Deobandis (Dar ul Ulum) who follow an interpretation of the Sunnah

    the four Sunni madhabs don't share and who live predominantly in Pakistan or India. They

    say all Shia, Ahmadiya and non-Muslims are Kaffir and have a very misogenist attitude towards the role

    of women. Unfortunately, there are many ideologies and sects within our Ummah that strayed from the

    right path Muhammad(pbuh) showed us. If you both pray and fast, share the principles of Tawheed and

    fast during Ramadan, respect each other's differences and follow the qu'ran , I don't see any problem in

    your marriage. But before the marriage, you should discuss the main differences( the different role

    of Muhammad's family in Shia Islam, role of Sahaba etc.) , as you will raise children and build a family:

    There should be a common ground as you have to convey Islamic values to the children and you should

    reach an agreement on everything you want to teach them. Overall, with mutual respect, I don't see any



    • Sister Jannah, Jazak Allah khayr for your comment, and I agree in particular with your last bit of advice about the need to discuss the differences, and to have common ground. I also want to point out that as a matter of respect we do not refer to Rasulullah (s.a.w.s.) as "Muhammad". When you read the books of hadith you will see that the sahabah always referred to him by his title, Messenger of Allah (Rasulullah), or the Messenger (Ar-Rasool), or The Prophet (An-Nabi). Even his closest companions never called him simply by his first name. I know you meant no disrespect, I'm just pointing it out as a matter of general Islamic etiquette.

  4. You're right, thanks for pointing that out. Normally, I call him Hazrate Rasool Salalahu Aleyhi va alehi

    va salam. I didn't mean to disrespect my Prophet.

    Thank you again, didn't notice it


  5. Aoa Sister Ayesha,

    I think previous two posts have answered the question nicely.
    But I just wanted to point out that as sister Leyla said if the person believes in five pillars of islam than it should not be a problem.

    But what if the pillars of islam for a husband and wife are different.

    Sunnis believe that the five pillars of islam are:
    1- Shahdah
    2- Salah
    3- Fasting
    4- Zakat
    5- Hajj

    Shias believe that five pillars of islam are:
    1- The Oneness of God (tawhid).
    2- The Justice of God ('adl).
    3- Prophethood (nubuwwah).
    4- The Leadership of Mankind (imamah).
    5- The Resurrection (me'ad).

    Also for Some shias its "good" to curse sahaba for example: Abu Bakr, Umar , Uthman and Ayesha and others. But for sunnis its unimaginable.

    Some shias believe in Mutta marriage, which means that a person can have temporary nikah for a fixed duration and it ends automatically when the duration ends. What if husband believes in it and wife does not?

    I just want to point out these things as in my point of view they can be problematic for a married couple. You can further dig about your sect and your future husband's sect before marriage, to fully understand what you should do.

    May Allah guide us all.

  6. Asalam-u-alaikum,

    I am a Sunnı gırl and I have a frıend who ıs also Sunnı and a very strong belıever wıth Islam. She ıs gıvıng me the advıce of not to marry the one I am ın love wıth who ıs Shıa as there ıs many dıfferences - I do understand where she ıs comıng from although the dıfferences don't seem to bother me and the one I love. At the end of the day the one I love and I, belıeve ın Allah (swt) - Prophet Muhammad (saws).
    Is the advıce my frıend gıvıng me wrong?

  7. sister Belle,

    yes, your friend gave you wrong advice. I am sorry and I don't mean any disrespect, but if you are a Sunni girl who loves a Shia man, then by all means you should marry eachother.

    Don't look toward only the negatives. On a positive side, you will both learn from eachother and become more practicing (Inshallah) and educated Muslims. As a result, you will also become more tolerant of one another and your beliefs. If you have kids Inshallah, your children will also be raised in a tolerant and learned environment. This will help them become better Muslims as adults and not have prejudice towards Shia or Sunni.

    All in all, if you are both religious and love one another, it is very recommended to marry him.

    • This is the most unscholarly advice i have ever heard.

      Sisiter by all means marry the one who believe what you believe in..
      shia marries shia.. and
      sunni marries sunni. period

      This is the deen you will raise your kids on, and the deen you will meet your lord with in the day of Judgment. Will you stand next to those who curse the beloved wife of the prophet in Qiyamat day ...

      If he repents .. then ok..
      if he insists to remain shia...
      pray for him and go about your life and marry a good brother..

      Allah knows best

  8. Asalam-u-alaikum

    My cousin is inlove with an Ismali boy, she is in worry that the marriage may not be halal, she is a strong beliver of Islam Masha'Allah. The family of this Ismali boy are lovely and welcoming, the boy has said to her they will raise the childern with knowledge of both sunni and the ismali way, but he has also told her he would want there children to pray 5 times etacly the way sunni's do! I keep telling her that that is fine they both respect eachother and she will honer his there anything wrong with that? i mean if they both have a understanding, and she is very strong about having there children pray 5 times and he wants that for there children too

    • walaikum as salam

      I think there is nothing wrong in it...She should marry the guy and especially if the family is good and the guy too supports her...I am sure they will lead a very happy married life...Ameen.... 🙂

  9. Asslamau Alaikum.
    I would really appreciate it if somebody would answer my question.
    I am in love and currently in a relationship with a Shia boy. He is a Twelver, and we both knew what we were getting into before we decided to commit. He is very learned and educated in the matters of Islam, and I don't seem to find any problem with marrying him. Our basic beliefs are the same, the finality of the Prophet (PBUH) and Allah. In fact, he is much more vigorous in these two beliefs. He does not practice the painful form of Matham, but he does beat his chest during Muahrram and he does strongly dislike the first three Caliphs and Hazrat Ayesha (RA) But I think that the last difference I mentioned is more of a political one than a spiritual or religious one. We have talked about how to raise our children and he has told me that we will raise them according to the Quran, and the political differences will be sorted out later. Would it be alright for us to get married? We have been together for 3 years.

  10. I am also in love and engaged to a Shia boy, and I dont think our life would have any problems.
    Once, he was praying his way, and then a few guys asked him why he was praying like that.
    In that moment, he looked at me, like he was asking an answer, support from me (although he knows I am Sunni). I somehow made him brave to say that he is Shia. And I saw in his eyes how much he was thankful to me. SOmetimes, when a certain things are different in practice, we ask how to help eachother.
    But in general, we both love Allah, love Prophet and his children, hate enemies of islam and want to research on islam together.
    And this is one of his statements: There were many good believers amnog sunnis, and among shias. So, the thing is to be GOOD, to give your best.
    No one knows who is right and who is not!

    • .....Sister have you heard that the worst of your enemies today will be the best of your allies tomorrow. Where does it take you to hate? To create barriers, to build up fences, to avoid listening, to stop trying to understand and get close to those who we think are wrong,.....I believe you can think on more obstacles that can be created by hate.

      The love of this world has two faces, love and hate, Unconditional Love only has one face, I chose, you are free to choose too, Alhamdulillah.

      From Heart to Heart, all my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,

      María Editor


    • Can a sunni girl marry a syed boy in islamic point of view

  11. AOA
    ma ak sunni larke hun r ak shea larkay ko pasand karte hun. wo b muje bht pyar kartay han. phlay mje pata nahe tha k wo shea han lakn phr unhon na mje bata diya. wo ya chahtay thay k ma shea ho jaun lakn ma nahe mane phr unhon na kha k aap sara study kar lo agar aap ko sahe laga to aap shea ho jana agar na laga to aap sunni he raho muje koi problem nahe ha lakn us k ghar walon ko problem ha k ma suni hun wo is baat ko nahe maanen ga aap ya bataen ka kia islam shadi ki ijazat data ha. hum ma basic differences kia han kia hamare shade ho sakte ha aap please muje email kar degye ga pleasa


  12. Salaam, i am a sunni muslim girl from a sayed family...

    • I have deleted the bulk of your comment. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael Editor

  13. mera question ye hai k ik shiea

    (Remainder of question deleted by Editor)

    • Hina,

      Please log in and submit your question as a separate post - preferably in English.

      SisterZ Editor

    • Ansha,

      You are asking exactly the same question that has already been asked in this post. Please read through the answers that have already been given.

      If you have questions about anything else, please log in and submit them as a separate post.

      Thank you,

      SisterZ Editor

  14. A.a m a shia boy.m in deep love with a sunni girl.we both really love each other alot.We always wish to get married,bt we can not because of the division in the tribes..Is it a must for the girl have to convert to shiasm in order to marry?What does the sharia say?

    • Abbasali, I suggest you consult a Shi'ah scholar if you want to know what is allowed in Shi'ah fiqh; since we Editors at this website are not Shi'ah. However I can tell you that many Sunni-Shi'ah marriages occur in Iraq and other places. It's quite common.

      Wael Editor

  15. i want to ask something too.
    is it a safe site? can i be assured that it won't be publicized please? as in my mail id and all?
    please guide

    • Your email address not be shared with anyone and cannot be viewed by the public, but since you are worried about it then I suggest that when you submit your post, you do not include any identifying information. Don't use your real name, or your real city, etc.

      Wael Editor

  16. salaam
    im a sunni girl. i have a shia friend and he proposed me. we discussed a few things. he says, above all we both are Muslims. n we believe in one Allah n Prophet (PBUH). he said the only difference between us is we give more respect to hazrat Ali (R.A). his grandmother was sunni. and her all khalas are sunni married to sunnis too. but his dad is a syed kazmi. he said he'll allow me to follow my beliefs and will never ask me to practice their things. there is one problem, he wants his kids to be shiah! and that's what bothers me the most! he is a good person, foreign studied and belongs to a good family. i do like him! but the environment i have been brought up has always portrayed shias very negatively. so im really scared. and also worried that whether my religion allows a sunni girl marriage to a shiah guy or not. please guide me!!

    • Assalam-alaikum,
      Sister, you have to study islam yourself and decide for yourself that what is right and wrong for you for this life and hereafter. No one can tell you what to do and what not to.

      I think you can see one thing in this guys family. Apparently his mother's side is sunni. Since all his mother's sisters are sunni. I think his mother was/is also sunni. But you can see the pattern in the family. That his father married a sunni woman and brought up his children i.e. the guy who is proposing you as shia. Most probably same will happen to this guy's children that they'll be brought up as shias. So if you have any doubt in your mind that he'll change his mind to bring up the children as sunnis instead of shias then you can forget it.

      Also, in Islam a muslim man is allowed to marry women from Ahlul-kitab(Christian or Jew) but muslim women are not allowed. They are only allowed to marry muslim man. Why is that? Isn't it unfair of islam to allow one thing to one sex and deny it to other. One reason which I heard about this 'hikmah' of Islam is that, once a woman marries a man,she goes to his house. There she eats/sleeps/works in a particular environment. In new home,her social circle changes, which is largely based on the relationships of her husband and his family. There she'll confront the religion of her husband daily. We humans, being social animals, are bound to be influenced by our environment. Such an environment can result in conversion of the person to other religion. Given that women always go to men's houses and live there, I think that is One reason islam didn't allow women marrying christian/jewish men. On the topic of being influenced by the environment, this is not limited to women only. Men also get influenced.
      (And I have seen it happening).

      Sister, I think the same influence can happen to a sunni woman who marries a shia or a shia woman who marries a sunni. I think its upto you to decide that what is right for you in this world and hereafter. And you should also think about the upbringing of your children also, as they have the right at you that you should give them best knowledge to be successful in this life and hereafter.

      These are my 2 cents, and as my sister in islam, I'll suggest not to marry a shia instead marry a sunni person. But of course its upto you. May Allah guide us all so that we can be successful in this life and hereafter.


  17. firstly i want to thank you for highlighting things i was foregoing! the points u mentioned are unavoidable. i know i can't ruin my generation merely for the sake that i like the guy or he belongs to a good family. i have to be practical. i will never want my kids to be brought up as shias! now i can take my decision more easily.
    thanku so much sister!!
    may Allah bless u.


    • Assalam-Alaikum,

      Sister I am happy that I can be of any help but its brother not sister. May Allah reward you and help you find spouse that is best for you in this world and hereafter.


  18. i have been proposed by a shia guy while i am sunni plus hafiza-e-quran too. we know each other since 3 years almost. he saw me in an exhibition where i was sent through my college but we have never met yet.

    Question deleted by Editor

  19. this problem has really made my life hell, i am so sorry for writing this way but believe you me this is how i feel inside myself. i have been tolerating this agitation since long, please make it a bit soon. i really wanna come out of this frustrating situation as early as possible. i request you to please publish the answer immediately.

  20. Respected Person,
    i m a sunni (ahledadise) girl wants to marry with a shia guy but my parents n family dnt want to do like this because they think like that all shia's are kafir because his namaz, fast are differnt and they cant follow our HOLY QURAN. i read all post and know i can marry with him but dont understand how i agree my family. please give me any appropriate procedure. thank yau.

    • AsAlam walikum,
      I m a dawoodi bohra and i lOve a sunni girl.. The thing we both want to
      Marry eachother.. I knw we have various differences bt the piilars n articles are same. I personally belief that we all muslims will judged by our deeds not by which sect or group we belong.. So its possible for me to marry her ?? Eveb though i ve told her that after marraige she will be given freedom ke jaise bhi ISlam practice kary.and will teach our childernboth the knowledge of sunni n shia ..

      • Murtaza,

        You said: 'I personally belief that we all muslims will judged by our deeds not by which sect or group we belong.'

        Well the differing deeds are what puts us into differing sects. So we need to make sure that our deeds are correct. We can only do this by following the Quran and Sunnah. Do you follow the Quran and Sunnah I do not exactly what you believe, but I understand that it is a type of a Ismaeli Shi'te belief, which is not recognised by mainstream Muslims.


        Whether you allow this girl to practise Islam as she wishes after marriage or not, is not the point. The point is this: that a Muslim girl can only marry a Muslim man. The best thing you can do is learn about the real Islam and re-affirm your faith as a true Muslim and then marry her. If you want us to help you learn about real Islam, then please write letting us know what you believe in so we know what we are dealing with and we can help you from there. (But log in and submit your question as a separate post).

        Alternately, consult with a qualified Mufti.

        SisterZ Editor

  21. We believe in all pillars which are common boyh in shia n sunni..we also consider sunni as muslims nt kafir ..
    We belive that after immat , dai similiar to immat who guides muslims to true islamic path ..
    I personally offer namaz by both sunni n shia methods of praying , distribut Zakat by shia n sunni both ..i m tryin to research abt true islam since 3 years and i follow only quran n at some occassions i dont understand it I boyh refer 6 authentic hadithh complires of sunni and shiaaa i m afraid that will her parents givee permission to marry with me ??
    My parents are agreeed on this ...i ve many cousin who are ismail shia : dawoodi bohras who have married with sunni girls or boys .. They live according to thier ownfaiyh and have brought up thier xhildern by both the studies of sunni n shiaa ...
    I mostly refer the musanaf of imam bhukari which is accepted by botth shiaa n sunni.. Am i doing ryte or wrong . 🙁

  22. I love a SHIA girl.. She also love me so much ... i belong to AHLE-SUNAT family..

    (Muhammad, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - Editor)

  23. M a sunni girl n my boyfriend is shia..v both love each other and our families also knows about this..he use to perform janzeera matham..but i tld him not to do so,,then nw he only performs matham the one on the chest.,the thing is should i marry him in future or there any problem in marrying him?

  24. Dear all,

    I saw one of the above comments which looked so interesting and showed how illiterate the person is.

    There are Arkaan deen and Osool deen. Pillars of Islam and Principles of Islam.

    The pillars of Islam are the same in both sects.

    such false comments creates doubt and isolation among sunnis and shias.

    Yes is the answer to the question. there is nothing more to be added as long as Holy Quran and Prophet Hazrat Mohammad (pbuh) has not rejected such relation.

    Dear brothers and sisters, please think logically and do not accept any comment yet you do not study about it. there is no point in discrimination amongst sects.

    As Hazrat Ali (as) says: there are as many ways in reaching to Allah as the population of the world.

    This clearly shows what we are all up to. Hazrat Mohammad (saw) has never created any discrimination among his followers and sahabas, then who are we to create discrimination.

    Be careful it is all the non Muslims who are trying to create discrimination among Muslims.

    We are all Muslims and shall be united no matter what we our personal perceptions are as long as we are in the same path towards Allah.


  26. Salaam All,

    First off, JAK to everyone who shared their "Sunni-Shia" stories. I myself am in the same situation. I have looked online for any social/support groups where we can share our stories. If anyone is interested in forming such a group, please msg me.

    I'm a Sunni girl in love with a Twelver Shia boy, but my family is 100% against it. Our local iman is Wahabi in thinking and told us that ALL shias lie, curse, engage in Muta, etc. My parents and community members believe our Imam; they would never question his thinking. After 2 years of trying to convince my family, I have now decided to give up on the Shia boy. I plan to tell him this week. Perhaps Allah will bring me someone better iA. I pray for a time where there is increased acceptance and unity among Sunnis and Shias.

    • salam iman i am having the same story like u my parents dnt like shiya peple and whenevr they ask any other person abut shiya peple there is alwys negvte but them but i cnt live widout him i cnt give up jux because of people i suffer evry sec no body cares and i knw this sunni shiya is never going to end :'( i pray ALLAH HELP US

  27. Respected Mam' i want to ask why Sunni Gives Fatwa Against Shia and stop to Sunni Dont Marriage with Shia Girls Or Shia Boys Nikkah not Jaeyz ,,,'. i want to ask here in sura or ayat or in witch Hadeess Rasool allah ( pbuh) sayid dont marry in shia plz answer. i m thankful to you

    • Salaams,

      There is no hadith where Prophet SAWS said "don't marry a shia", simply because there were no shia at that time. The fatwas you are giving address the logistical issues for those going into such a marriage, even though it's not explicitly forbidden.

      -Amy Editor

  28. sir I am Shia bøy...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question in English as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  29. mujhe b aik questn karna ha can i?

  30. Aoa!
    i am a syed shia boy , my family is mixed there are many shia sunni marriages my mama,s dad was a sunni , where as my father,s maternal family is also .i ve offered namaz by both ways as
    my parents never told me to differentate nd talk about anything to create tafarqah. I hold a personal belief that one shudn,t say bad about sahabas i respect them all except mawiyah. Nd about hazrat abu bkr i just have an issue that he didn,t gave fidaq to fatima s.a nd hzrt umar tht he didn,t gave pen to prophet s.a.w when he s.a..w asked to give him a paper nd pen so that he may write something as a guidance to muslims , as i studied in sunni traditions still i think that one shud concentrate on his own doings Allah is the judge He will carry out the Justice so i respect them as companions of prophet sa.a.w.w i respect imam ali a.s after rasul s.a.w.w as their are countless ahadith in for imam ali a.s i also do matam bt jst beating my chest with shirt on myself . And i also have an opinion that i dnt accept mutaa as i dont get the reason behind it i shared everything so that i can be guided. I love a sunni girl from 3 years we both love eachother too much there is a problem at her family that they think shias as kafir and much more that i was surprised that her mom said no after hearing Syed i haven,t yet talked to her parents bt i need help i mean how shud i convince them i dunt know i,m stucked

  31. Assalam-u-alaikum guyss I m a sunni boy and I love shia girl and she also loves me.she is not pure shia.she recites holy Quran,offer prayer,recites naats n also keep fasts in Ramadan but she opens her fast on shia fast kindly give me answers what I should do ??in Islamic point of view...

    • fahad, it depends on her specific beliefs. If she has beliefs that amount to shirk (as some Shiah do) then you should not marry her. If you feel she is close to Sunni Islam then go ahead and marry her.

      Wael Editor

  32. Hmmmm but I have also searched other websites where some mufti mentioned that marry with shia is haram in islam so what i should do ??now i m scaring if i get marry with her may be ALLAH will punished me in AKHIRAT..have u confirm information about this topic so please help me..coz i dont want to be a sinner.

  33. I.m Sunni.girl and I m engaged with shia boy my family and his family both r agree but Isome people said can't marry suni girl with shia boy so then I want to know who is correct or incorrect and mainly I want to know what would I do. what is right or wrong I can't understand plzzzzz help mwe give me answer if anyone have Islamic knowledge. I m very thankful to u

  34. I am a suni girl and I love a shia amroha. I am in the same situation and it hurts alot. 🙁

  35. Janab If some one is a Muslim and believe in Allah and his messenger and the holy Quran Then we should not call him non Muslim or a kafir God is the creator and he is the one to ask

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