Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A Depressed Teenager

Im a 17 yr old boy who is studying in XII.Till Xth,I studied in Muscat.After Xth,I went to India for further education due to increased living cost which my father found hard.But the fact is that even after 2 yrs,i find it extremely difficult to cope with the situations here and i find myself in a state of depression.It has gone to the extent,i have started hating India.I wish I could go back to Oman.Moreover,I feel like never integrating into this Indian society and i hate the Indian culture.No one is on my side and i always find myself alone.I wish I were dead than living such a life. Plz suggest some solutions to this young brother




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3 Responses »

  1. Salam brother. I see you are having a hard time and I will try to help. First and foremost have faith in Allah swt. A hadith says: "No soul shall have a burden placed upon it until it cannot bear" something along those lines. BUT in short words it means that Allah will never put you through anything you can't handle. It may feel like hell, emotionally degrading, and lonely but there are better times ahead of you. You are young you are educated. Keep striving for what you enjoy and what you study. Try to make the best of it though. Go outside, mediate, eat good food, talk to people, or indulge in your hobbies. Maybe go around schools to find friends. Stay strong bro.

  2. Assalaamualaykum Brother Ajeeb,

    Moving to a new city and country is very difficult at first, but Allah wouldn't give you this situation unless He knew you could handle it and make it work for you! It can take several years to adjust to a new school, surroundings, and lifestyle, and to make peace with the loss of a place you were very attached to previously. Nostalgia is a strong feeling!

    One thing that may help you is to remember that everything in this life is temporary. If you hadn't moved to India, you may have still moved somewhere else from Muscat down the road, either for school or career or marriage, because we never know what life will throw our way and what Allah's perfect plan has in store for us.

    There are no "if's" in the storybook of our life. If you think of your life as a book and each day as a page, there are no pages that read "living in Muscat in 2017" for you, because that was not Allah's plan for you.

    If you give it some more time and take good care of yourself...doing all the things that Shino pointed out and remembering to take care of your health (drink lots of water...use the evenings and nights as periods of rest as Allah has prescribed) you will eventually adjust to living in India.

    Also, because nothing is permanent and everything is temporary, you could see yourself moving somewhere again in a few years once you are done with your studies. So either you'll be well-adjusted and you'll want to stay, or you'll be finished with your studies and decide to move! There is much to be hopeful for, my brother.

    May Allah give you great success and happiness.



  3. I agree with the comments above. Sister/Brother Nor’s advice is spot on as usual. It definitely takes time to adjust to a new place. But, you are not alone. It is becoming rather commonplace for the gulf expatriate children to have to move back home due to expenses.
    Many years ago too when gulf did not have a lot of universities, moving back home was inevitable after high school. So, one way or the other, this had to come.
    Look around you and keep an open mind and search for boys with a similar situation. There will be quite a few and they will be more than willing to befriend you for the shoulder,strength and understanding you can provide each other.
    As Nor pointed out, work towards accepting this change because that is how life is supposed to be. As they say, only thing constant in life is ’change’.
    As for Indian culture, again just keep an open mind. You do not have to accept everything but you need not fight it either.
    One of the perks I think of living back home is no matter how many difficult relatives you know, there will be always that aunt/uncle/cousin who will be that friend in family you cherish for a lifetime. Trust me, with age, these friends in family, can be your strongest allies in life.
    So the Omani landscape, the Indian diaspora and life goes on, who knows, where next?
    All the best my Omani brother, others before you have done it, so can you. Take care.

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