Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A friend with no faith.

slave to your heart

I have a friend who I am trying to get to stop drinking and getting high. I do not think this person drinks often, but either way the fact remains that they see nothing wrong with either because they said it makes them feel good. Oh, and they do not mind playing the lotto, as well.

This person is Muslim, but it seems mostly by name. I told them these things are haram, but they do not care and said they will do what they want. When I told them they should go to Mosque on Fridays seeing that they have the time to, they said, "I will never be like that". However, when I tell this person that I just finished saying my prayers they would sometimes say, "Masha Allah". How can I ask Allah (Azzawajal) to guide someone if they themselves do not care to be guided?

I cannot bear to see this person going down the wrong path. Nothing I say helps. I have even told this friend that I cannot be their friend anymore if they continue like this, but as much as this person does not want to lose me they are still not willing to give up the haram. This person does not care that they are pleasing the devil and not pleasing God.

Please advise me as to how I can help this person to understand that they should not be doing this.



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4 Responses »

  1. Seems you have done all you could sister/brother.
    Leave their friendship, they will only taint your name and may rub some of their illnesses on to you. My personal experience with lost muslim friends is to cut them loose before they take you down with them.

    Hope that helps.

  2. asalamu alaikum,

    first you have to understand, no one can guide anyone to the path of truth except by the will of Allah(swt) and no one can be lead astray except by the will of Allah(swt) as we have come to understand Islam.

    if the person who is committing such an act and doesn't care, what can you do? we can not guide anyone, except if Allah(swt) wills. just pray to Allah(swt) to guide them, and you told them to stop so leave it at that.

    you are not your friends keeper. you have done your part.

    ma salama..

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Sometimes a person needs to want to change, before they can accept help. If your friend doesn't see anything wrong with their current lifestyle, then they may not be able to see that they need to make changes. Drug and alcohol use can skew a person's perspectives, so that they are unable to see that the temporary "buzz" causes more problems than it helps.

    Is your friend aware of the potential harm they could be doing to themselves by drinking alcohol and taking drugs? No matter how careful a person thinks they are being, illicit drugs carry huge risks - for example, as they aren't quality controlled, they could contain anything - rat poison, other drugs, talcum powder, pesticides... If your friend is concerned about this, they might want to access resources such as "Frank" (in the UK) that can tell them more about what they might be taking. Alcohol is a huge problem in many countries, and can cause liver failure, problems with blood clotting, memory loss and brain damage, and many other serious problems. It used to be that the people seeking help for alcohol-related health problems were in their 40s or 50s - now we're seeing people in their 20s, and it's tragic to watch. If they are concerned they may be addicted, then they should get in touch with the local community addictions or substance misuse services (their family doctor should be able to point them in the right direction, inshaAllah).

    You have done a lot for your friend already, and if you want to continue to help them, I think the best way to do so would be to provide them with an example of a practising Muslim - keep living your own life in accordance with Allah's guidance, and make dua that your friend be guided back to Islam inshaAllah. You are not responsible for your friend, but it speaks well of you that you continue to care for them. Don't allow their habits to rub off on you, and maintain an appropriate distance so that you aren't exposed to their substance use, etc.

    May your friend be guided back to the straight path, inshaAllah.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. Is your friend a person of opposite sex? Are you both single? Do you think he is a honestand helpful kind of person?

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