Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A misunderstanding has ruined our friendship

male female best friends

Salam my dear brothers, sister, uncles and aunties...I have a matter I want to discuss with you all and I hope you will be able to help me...it goes like this....

I have a crush on a girl and I just wanted to be friends as I am a teenager only.....after sometime, after I had developed a successful friendship with her while I was talking to my friends and were making fun of another friend of ours, her mother thought that we were making fun of her and talking bad stuff about her like the goons on the streets do....

Because of her misunderstanding the situation, she doesn't talk to me anymore and looks at me in disgust...it leaves me heartbroken as I hadn't done any sin by trying to be friends... I can't even approach her with the truth because I am scared and too shy...

It has been a long time since this event and I have prayed a lot but still the matter remains the same, I know Allah SWT will help me but I can't wait..can someone please help me with this situation and give me some suggestions as to what to do :)....Jazak Allah, I hope you will help me.

villiers73


Tagged as: , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Wa 'alaikum as-salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh my dear little brother,

    I think rather than being worried that a misunderstanding has ended your friendship with the girl, maybe you should learn about whether such friendship was even allowed in Islam in the first.

    Islam doesn't allow free intermingling of the sexes for the simple reason that whenever men and women are together, there is always the possibility, whether latent or actual, of being tempted to do something improper.

    You mentioned that you are a teenager only and had developed a successful friendship with her after sometime. However, what you need to understand is that as you grow up together, this same successful friendship could lead the both of you to a pre-marriage relationship which is also forbidding in Islam--usually such forbidden relationships begin from being normal friends to successful friendships, and then to developing deep feelings for each other and thinking that you are soul-mates. Therefore, in order for Islam to protect us from falling into such sins it has forbade us from taking friends from the opposite sex in the first place, lest we fall into the traps of Shaitaan.

    Please see the below links for more information on this matter.

    May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala soothes your heart for losing a friend and replace for you something better for you in this life and the next. Ameen.

    http://islamqa.info/en/20949

    http://www.islamicexperiences.com/2012/03/dangers-of-muslims-having-haram-pre.html

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekej1gswkpY

  2. CRUSH ....................... brother open ur eyes , in islam its just u are married or non married apart from this friendship with ghair mahram is harraam may allah guide u , if u really like her and want to marry her then leave her alone rather approch her parents when on right time comes allah will guide u if ur intentions are true inshallah 🙂 and yes u are teenager pls concentrate on ur studies and this is the time when shytaan tries to his best to misguide u mislead u open ur eyes brother 🙂

    jazakalllahukhair

  3. Wa 'alaikom alsalam wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatuh!

    Brother, it seems to me that you're worried about unfairly losing a friend for a wrong deed you did not do unto her? Maybe you should worry about your values and question them instead. If whatever joke you were making about that other friend was so bad the girl you have a crush on would end your friendship and look at you with disgust (mistakenly thinking it was about her), then perhaps you shouldn't be making such jokes? If she found your joke offensive then the person whom it was actually about will undoubtedly think so as well. How would you feel if someone made such jokes about your sister or cousin? And, why would the girl you like want to be friends with you if you have such a poor taste in jokes? Brother, try to focus on bettering your behaviour and values, and then maybe you can resort to sorting out misunderstandings.

    And, overall, Islam has an adverse view on such friendships, return to Br Issah's coment above.

Leave a Response