Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A muslim girl and christian guy?

Can Muslim-Christian marriages work? Can Muslim-Christian marriages work?

Muslim-Christian Marriage


I am talking to this guy, we are both middle eastern, so we have the same culture. I am a muslim. He is a christian, but he is not a devoted christian. We plan to get married, and have spoken about "kids." He doesn't mind or have a problem with my religion or the religion i choose to teach my children (islam).

We get along very well and are happy together, my religion does not bother him at all.  But I do know that a Muslim woman cannot "be" with a Christian man..

How should I break it to my parents? I mean they want my happiness, but I am still afraid to open the subject to them.


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27 Responses »

  1. Asalaamu alaikum sis, with all due respect forget 'how do i break it to my parents' how are you going to explain this to Allah?? You obviously know its haram for a woman to marry a non muslim man but you want to go ahead anyway do you think Allah would bless a marriage like that?

  2. Sister ,

    Islam doesn't allow a marriage between Muslim woman and christian man .This will be NULL and VOID .
    All relationship will be treated as ZINA ( adultery) .

    Life is short .One day you have to die and answer to Allah as it will be a big disobeying to Allah .

    I suggest you to cut all contacts with him .

    But if he is ready to convert that is not for your sake but for the sake of Allah and if he is convinced about Islam then you can marry him .But still we have seen many cases where such converts turned back to their old faith as they were not convert from heart .

  3. GOOD---YOU KNOW THAT MUSLIM WOMEN CAN NOT MARRY TO NON-MUSLIM....But still you want to do that.


    Time to know your self sister.

  4. Sister,

    The issue is not a s simple as it is made out to be. Nor is the permissibility for muslim men to marry women of the book as clear cut as culture often has it.

    I would recommend your read this:

    It shows that there are many complexities to this issue.

    However, my advice whenever interfaith marriage is suggestes is - don't do it.

    Basic values differ, views on life, death heaven and hell. And the most serious problems don't alight until you have children and by that time it is too late to go back.

    So either you should contemplate joining the same faith. Or maybe give up on the relationship.

  5. Hello Yasemin5,

    I'm a Christian man married to a muslim woman. I too came to this site seeking advice about interfaith marriages, as I have recently reverted to my Christian faith. I did receive some good advice not all of it but some. I belive it's what is in your heart, there are all kinds of marriages and relationships that people see as bad or unsustainable, but they aren't in them. My wife of 10 years and I are from completely different parts of the world but we have proven time and time again that our love is stronger than anything this world has thrown at us. But it's all about you and him and if you truly believe that you are supposed to be together. I hope you find what you are looking for peace be unto you.


    • Ryan ,

      A muslim means who submits his will to Allah .Who follows Prophet(SAS) and his teaching .
      There are veses in Quran which disallows marriage betwen Muslim woman and non Muslim man .

      If your wife don't care it then it seems she is not a practicing muslim woman and don't bother about life after death .

      All love fades after time .

      • Sahaddita

        Here is proof

        “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221]

        “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

        [al-Baqarah 2:221]

        • 83736: A Christian woman is saying: Why is it not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kitaabi man when the opposite is permitted?

          My Christian wife is asking: Why is it not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry someone from among the people of the Book – Christians and Jews – whilst that is permitted to Muslim men?.
          Praise be to Allaah.
          One of the names of Allaah in which we believe – and we do not think that anyone who believes that he has a Lord will doubt that – is al-Hakeem (the All-Wise). In this manner the noble angels praised Him, because they understood His wisdom in His command to them to prostrate to Adam:

          “They (angels) said: ‘Glory is to You, we have no knowledge except what you have taught us. Verily, it is You, the All-Knower, the All-Wise’”

          [al-Baqarah 2:32]

          He has also testified to this, as have His angels and the people of knowledge:

          “Allaah bears witness that Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), and the angels, and those having knowledge (also give this witness); (He always) maintains His creation in justice. Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), the All‑Mighty, the All-Wise”

          [Aal ‘Imraan 3:18]

          Thus He has established proof against His creation, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “Say: ‘With Allaah is the perfect proof and argument, (i.e. the Oneness of Allaah, the sending of His Messengers and His Holy Books, to mankind); had He so willed, He would indeed have guided you all’”

          [al-An’aam 6:149]

          Thus it is known that the All-Wise does not do anything in vain, and He does not do anything that is inappropriate. He does not issue any command but that which is better for His creation than any other, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “Allaah has sent down the Best Statement, a Book (this Qur’aan), its parts resembling each other (in goodness and truth) (and) oft‑repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allaah. That is the Guidance of Allaah. He guides therewith whom He wills; and whomever Allaah sends astray, for him there is no guide”

          [al-Zumar 39:23]

          Just as this is implied by His being All-Wise, it is also implied by His being the only Creator. The one who makes a thing knows best what is suited for it, so how about the All-Knowing Creator?

          “Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves), All‑Aware (of everything)”

          [al-Mulk 67:14]

          With regard to the wisdom behind the matter that you are asking about, perhaps you know that Islam is the last religion that was revealed from Allaah, hence it abrogates all other religions, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it superior over all religions even though the Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah) hate (it)”

          [al-Tawbah 9:33]

          “And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers”

          [al-Nisa’ 4:141]

          The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said; “Islam prevails and is not prevailed over.” Narrated by al-Daaraqutni and others; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2778).

          It is well known that the husband is in charge of his wife (qawaamah) and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife. Perhaps this higher position may make him force his wife to leave her religion and follow his, or it may influence her to do that, and this is something that Islam cannot accept.

          The higher status held by the husband may also cause the children of this woman to follow their father’s religion, which is a great error, if these offspring grow up and do not follow the final religion of Allaah.

          This is the important reason which Allaah mentioned when He forbade Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

          [al-Baqarah 2:221]

          Moreover, if a kitaabi woman (a Jewish or Christian woman) marries a Muslim man, she is marrying someone who believes in her Prophet and all the Prophets of Allaah, because he cannot be a Muslim otherwise, and it is not permissible for him to differentiate between them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “The Messenger (Muhammad) believes in what has been sent down to him from his Lord, and (so do) the believers. Each one believes in Allaah, His Angels, His Books, and His Messengers. (They say,) ‘We make no distinction between one another of His Messengers’”

          [al-Baqarah 2:285]

          Whereas the kitaabi – whether Jewish or Christian – does not believe in Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or that he is the Seal of the Prophets, so how can the two matters be equal, and how can Muslim women marry men who do not believe in their Prophet?

          But we should point out here that although it is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a kitaabi woman, because of the interests that it is hoped may be served by that, and to avoid burdening people with too many restrictions, it is blameworthy, as Imam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/67).

          This permission serves as a hint to the people of the Book, so that they might realize that Islam has made exceptions for the people of the Book in some rulings that it has not made for other kuffaar. Allaah has permitted us to eat meat slaughtered by the people of the Book, and He has permitted us to marry their women out of respect for the origin of their religions which were based on Tawheed, and out of respect for the Messengers of those religions in whom we are commanded to believe and respect, and to demonstrate the difference between the attitude of the followers of Judaism and Christianity towards our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the attitude of our religion towards their Prophets.

          Finally, this ruling should not be strange for other religions, and it is not something odd that is applied by Islam alone. Why should some of those who attack our religion find it strange that Islam forbids our women to marry non-Muslim men, when they do not marry one another even though they are followers of one religion? A Catholic cannot marry a Protestant woman and if he does so he is punished by the church, and vice versa.

          According to the canon of the Egyptian Orthodox Coptic Church published in 1938 CE, article 6 states that “difference in religion is an impediment to marriage.”

          And Allaah knows best.

        • "It is well known that the husband is in charge of his wife (qawaamah) and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife."

          Qawaamah means "protector" and "maintainer", it does not mean "boss". Interpreting it as boss is a cultural thing. Where I work, the CEO is not the maintenance guy :))

          If your house was on fire what would be the protector's role? Would the man and protector stand in the hall and lead or direct while his wife carried the sick parents down the stairs? Or would the protector carry the heavy burden and leave the directing to the wife?

          In the Quran it says men have a degree over women, but it does not say a degree of what. Burden maybe?

          We should be careful when (...) is added in translations - it means that this is not what it says but what it can be interpreted as!

          And ALlah knows best

        • Christians Are Polytheists Too

          The Christians believe in the trinity of the Godhead. The Father (God), The Son (Jesus) and the Holy Ghost (Jibrīl). They believe that each of them have a special quality and that together they constitute the Godhead. The Qur’an flays their assertion thus:

          “Certainly they disbelieve who say, ‘Surely Allah is the third (person) of Three’; and there is no god but One God.” (Surah al-Mā’ida 5:73)

          The Holy Qur’an clearly states that Allah (S.w.T.) is not one-third of a god. He is the One and only One God.

          The belief in Trinity is not exclusive to the Christians. Hindus and Buddhists also ascribe to it.

          This is clear act of Shirk and muslim women can't marry mushrikeen as Quran clearly talks about it .

          It is crystal clear that chritians do shirk and muslim women can not marry them .The quranic verses are clear for it ..

          Surprised to see you despite having such a strong evidences and Quranic verses you putting your own view ? Is it because of personal comfort ? or are you in similar situation and falsely consoling yourself ?

        • Shahditha ,

          That is about christians of prophet(SAS) time who were different compare to today's Christians .

          Even a layman can say the Trinity concept is an act of shirk .They consolidate trio to one God but still its an act of shirk ..

          If you ask a learned hindu who beleives in multiplle Gods and say they are Avataars of same one God leading to ultimate belief that there is one God but different Avatars to handle different jobs . If you don't categorize Trinity concept as an act of shirk then even clean Hindu practices also will not be a shirk from your point of view ...Even a learned hindu believes that idol he is worshipping is just a stone and can't do any thing but he is invoking ultimate one GOD through this idol ..So do you think because ultimate Target is one GOD so this is not shirk ? Of course it is Shirk .

          I am strongly convinced as per islamic view Trinity is an act of Shirk the way multiple gods worshiping in Hindu religion is there ...

          Quran is clear here you can't not marry such mushrikeen like christians of today's times ....Truth is clear ..whether you take it or reject it is up to you but don't misguide people in this forum who are weak in faith ..A muslim woman marrying christian man is totally Haraam and there is no doubt about it .

        • Illogical

          Now you only state your opinions, without any islamic proof. I can not repudiate opinions. However, a claim like "Quran is clear here you can't not marry such mushrikeen like christians of today's times " falls on its own logical absurdity and gives support to your username.

          I wish you well.

        • Shahadita ,

          Go through below answer by learned scholars .It is crystal clear .

          Can muslim woman marry Christian.

          Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
          As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

          One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
          My questions are, can a muslim woman marry a christain man? Becouse I read it in the Quran that,do not give ur daughters to idolleters,unblievers,or who do not blieve in those that mean a Muslim woman can marry christain man, b/cos they believe in GOD.thank u.

          (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)


          Can muslim woman marry Christian
          In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

          Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 221:
          221 Do not marry mushrik women until they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than an idolatrous woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to mushrik (men) until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than a disbeliever even though he allures you. Disbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: that they may celebrate His Praise.

          Your Question: my questions are, can a muslim woman marry a christain man?
          It is categorically forbidden, prohibited, and absolutely haraam for a believing woman to marry any man but a muslim; if indeed she fears and believes in Allah and the Last Day.

          A marriage between a believing woman and a disbeliever (regardless of whether that man be a pagan or from amongst the People of the Book) would be unlawful, illegal, null and void in the Sight of Shariah Law, in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, and in the sight of the believers.

          Your Question: ..Becouse I read it in the Quran that,do not give ur daughters to idolleters, unblievers, or who do not blieve in those that mean a Muslim woman can marry christain man, b/cos they believe in GOD.thank u.
          Respected sister in Islam, almost all human beings, regardless of whether they claim to be pagans (Hindus, Buddhists, etc.) or from amongst the People of the Book (Jews or Christians) believe in the One All-Mighty God..but because they associate other deities or small gods with the One All-Mighty God, they are all mushriks in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

          Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verses 72-73:
          72 They do blaspheme (and disbelieve) who say: "Allah is Christ the son of Mary." But said Christ: "O children of Israel! Worship Allah my Lord and your Lord." Whosoever joins other gods with Allah, Allah will forbid him the Garden and the Fire will be his abode. There will for the wrong-doers be no one to help.
          73 They do blaspheme (and disbelieve) who say: Allah is one of three in a Trinity: for there is no god except One Allah. If they desist not from their word (of blasphemy) verily a grievous penalty will befall the blasphemers among them.

          The followers of Christianity associate the Noble Messenger of Allah, Isa ibn Maryam (a.s.), as a Lord and a deity with Allah Subhanah; thus their belief in the One All-Mighty Lord Who created is tainted with manifest shirk and is absolutely unacceptable to Allah Subhanah, the One and Only Lord of the Worlds!

          If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

          Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

          Your brother and well wisher in Islam,


        • Illogical

          If you have read my posts you see scholars disagree.

          Firstly, it is acceptable for Muslim scholars to have disagreement in opinions. It is acceptable because there are many debates where there is no clear-cut evidence to the matter. It is possible that some narrations are not very authentic in the chain of narrators, or some might interpret texts differently than others . In fact, most Islamic texts are like this and very debated. Therefore, it is natural to have disagreement among the Muslim scholars.

          This type of disagreement is not only acceptable, but in fact, rewarded by Allah (S.W.T.) at least once, with the possibility of two rewards. Those who qualify for this reward are the scholars who have the greatest knowledge in the matter. Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) confirms this reward in an authentic Hadith reported by Imams Bukhari, Muslim, and Abu-Dawud, which says, “If the Hakim (ruler or judge) made his Ijtihad or the extraction of the verdict from original sources of legislation and he reached the correct verdict he will get two rewards. And if he reached the wrong verdict he will only get one reward.”

          Other evidence for this acceptable disagreement in Islam comes from a Hadith reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim, in which Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) ordered his companions after the battle of Al-Ahzaab saying, “No one of you should pray Asr until you reach the village of Bani-Qurayzah (A Jewish tribe) .” While they were on their way, the time of Asr came. Some companions said we should not pray until we reach Bani-Qurayzah. Others said we should pray Asr now because the Prophet (S.A.W.) did not mean for us to leave the Asr prayer, but he wanted us to be in a hurry. So some of the companions prayed Asr , while others continued on until they reached Bani-Qurayzah after sunset. When they went back to the Prophet, they mentioned to him the story and he did not blame either one of them." This Hadith clearly shows us that the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) accepted both opinions, because if one of them were wrong then the Prophet would have expressed it at that time.

          The Mujtahideen are a group of Muslims scholars who extract verdicts based on the Qur'an and the Sunnah , yet do not follow others opinions such as Imams Abu-Hanifah, Malik, Shfi'i and Ahmad Ibn-Hanbal may Allah be pleased with all of them . The disagreements among the Mujtahideen are also acceptable in Islam and will be rewarded. They will be rewarded because they derive their verdicts from the Islamic legislative sources.

          Acceptable disagreements do not only include matters of Shariah (Islamic Law), but also include matters of Aqeedah (belief) where there is no clear-cut evidence. This type of disagreement in the matters of Aqeedah or belief used to be practiced among the companions of the prophet.

          Muslims should follow what they believe is right, when there is disagreement.

          And Allah knows best.

        • here i would like to take the part, not meant to disturb you both but

          illogical you are saying a muslim woman cannot marry a christian, its wrong both men and women are not allowed to marry any christian you know why coz they all are Mushriks who ask for help from Essa, who ask for everything from Essa and Maryam, have you met any christian?

          here in Pakistan i have two christian women as friends and i know what they do, they tell me the things and it literally spin my mind. they also try to convince me and are standing like solid rock in convincing me Jesus is the son of god any Muslim man can marry such woman, why? they are not mushriks?

          in Quran it is permissible for a muslim to marry a monotheist but not a mushrik. miss sahadita is right, no where is mentioned about a woman but it is mentioned for both they should not bring any mushrik. you brought the ayats for evidence but please try to read the lines under those ayats it is also writen that a muslim slave is better than any mushrik woman, correct me if i am wrong please.

        • Shahadita,

          The site you are referring to is not the right place .It is not having eligible islamic scholars to issue fatwa .
          Khaled Abou El Fadl and Dr. Abou El Fadl are not the islamic scholars .

          Dr. Khaled Abou El Fadl is one influential Islamic thinkers in the modern age. An accomplished Islamic jurist and scholar, he is Professor of Law at the UCLA School of Law where he teaches Islamic law, Immigration, Human Rights, International and National Security Law....

          So i advise you to be carefull and get views from i right slamic scholars .
          You sources are wrong hence you are concluding wrong .

          If you see all islamic scholars who have studied from proper islamic schools belonging to different school of thoughts disallow marriage between muslim woman and chrisitian man ..

          I think above proof itself is enough for you to follow right path and propagate right things if you care about life after death else there are many hypocrites trying to misguide people in fake Islamic sites .As a Muslim its my job to stop you propagating wrong beliefs and information . I have gone through so many fake Islamic sites run by feminist groups and hypocrites in Muslim community who try to do the same what you are doing i.e misguding (intentionally or unintentionally i don't know)

      • Illogical

        You yourself cited IslamQA, which is a salafi site that claims it is allowed to have slaves and beat women etc. And still it has been banned in Saudi. I am not salafi.

        You are right, we must be careful. And the word feminist can be taken to mean anything today, so I never use it. But I'd much rather believe in a respected scholar who interprets Islam as a religion of equality than a religion that as Al-Munajid says states that a man is allowed to have intercourse with a slave that he owns whether he is married or not; and that his wife or wives has no right to object.

        I believe in the perfection of Islam, and the imperfection of man's understanding of it.

        • SEX with slaves is not allowed .Majority of scholars have this view .
          I don't follow IslamQA blindly or any other sites .
          Many of Islamic scholars have agreed that SEX with slaves is no allowed .

          For every issue it should have references .Regarding above discussed issues there were verses from Quran and it is not a rocket science to know that Trinity is an act of Shirk .

          Even i too agree with Hanafi scholars who discourage marriage between Muslim man and Chistian woman . For a Muslim woman majority of scholars have same view that is it is not Allowed and its haraam ....

        • I agree that you should not trust the Islamqa site. They have some very unusual "fatwas" regarding women.

      • My wife is none of your business. My advice came from the heart with intentions of helping yasemin5. My family is happy and full of love

    • Respect u sir

  6. Salaam Sister,

    If you are a practicing muslim and would like to lead your life according to the rulings of Islam then I would advise you to ask a muslim scholar his/her opinion according to Islam on marriage between a muslim woman and a christian man. Taking such a big decision in your life will affect your life after death so please make a decision after consulting with learned scholars.

    Another point is, it seems both of you are in love with each other and care for each other very much thats why you both have decided to marry each other. If you love and care for him do you feel happy knowing that he will not go to Paradise after he dies because he is worshiping Isa (Alai his Salaam) and not worshiping Allah. Will you feel happy being with him everyday the rest of your life, knowing that after he dies he is going to burn in hell forever ?

    Does your love and care for him is limited to only this world (which is temporary) and not to the life after death (which is forever) ? If you are a muslim then it means you should believe in life after death and also believe that whoever does shirk or kufr will never ever goto Jannah.

    May Allah guide you both.

  7. hi sister can u plz talk with me in private? i have the same problem

  8. I'm also in love with a Muslim girl

  9. 3: 110 Al Imran
    If the People of the Book had also believed, it would have surely been better for them. Some of them are true believers, but most of them are disobedient.

    3: 113-115 Al Imran
    Yet they are not all alike. Of the People of the Book there are some who stand by their covenant; they recite the word of God during the night and prostrate themselves before Him, who believe in God and the Last Day, who enjoin justice and forbid evil and vie with each other in good works. These are righteous men and they will not be denied (the reward) for whatever good deeds they do: God knows the righteous.

    3: 199 Al Imran
    Some of the People of the Book believe in God, and in what has been revealed to you and what was revealed to them. They humble themselves before God and do not sell God's revelations for a trifling price. These shall be rewarded by their Lord: God is swift in reckoning!

    According to the Quran, some Jews and Christians are believers. It is possible to be Jewish or Christian and be a believer. Believers can marry believers, so therefore it does not matter which of the three communities believers are from. For Christians, being a believer would likely mean seeing Jesus as a messenger of God but not being divine himself. It was God's will that Mary became pregnant and had Jesus.
    Christian believers would believe in God and follow the teachings of Jesus.

    Why would God say that some Jews and Christians were believers if that was not the case. Therefore best of luck to the Muslim woman and Christian man in marriage.

    • Matta, your interpretation is NOT correct. Allah makes it clear what He means when he says:

      "Some of the People of the Book believe in God, and in what has been revealed to you and what was revealed to them."

      Those who are called believers are the ones who accepted the message of Muhammad (sws) and became Muslims.

      A Muslim woman cannot marry a Christian man. This is known and agreed upon by Muslim scholars who know the Quran and its interpretation far better than you.

      Wael Editor

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