Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A rebellious wife

prayer dua marriage

assalam a laikom !
After a very long thought I decided to post our problem here and ask for suggestion .

My family is going through a terrible time . Few months back my brother got married , my sister in law is professional so my brother didn't pose any objection on her job .moreover my brother job is in another city so he comes home once every two weeks.

We have a combined family , my professional bhabhi use to go for work and being served nicely but whenever she gave us a helping hand it was always a big deal . Though she use to be on phone 24/7 not with my brother but according to her she talk to her father the whole day and mother the whole night , people and relatives visiting our house also noticed it and mentioned but we always excused on her behalf .

Then when it was first festival after their wedding she promised my brother she will be back soon from work but she didn't come while my brother was waiting for her the whole day and then someone from us went to pick her up .

Then her sister was engaged to a person who was very open to all of them , my brother wasn't liking it and he advised his wife not to meet na mahram as she can meet him after proper nikkah , but she involved her father who started pressurizing my brother that he has no right over his daughter ( my bhabhi) to tell her not to meet her would be brother in law .therafter they produced some emails that contain objectionable pics of my bhabhi and blamed our family did it . Followed by she accused all of us to steal her gold jewelry while her room both keys were with her , when we brought trained dogs to find out who stole her jewelry , the dogs sat beside her.

Then later when she became pregnant , she was a little sick , my brother was very worried and asked her to take off from work , at which her father called my brother that his daughter won't leave work as mishap can happen anywhere. Later my mother got heart attack and very sick due to all the mess this lady had created with blames and all kind of things , so my brother dropped her at her parents house to reduce the tensions and my mother wasn't in good health to provide her all the services.

Now she is sitting at her father house with no intentions to come back while her father hold her that he has all the right to decide that whom she will meet and for how long she will work . While my brother being a husband carries no right but all the responsibilities .And his family accused of all kind of dirty blames .

Now from religious point of view what is the solution and suggestion , as keeping all the blames aside she is disobeying and disrespecting my brother with her parents support . While she is pregnant and doing all those things my brother abide her from ?

Kindly help and reply.


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5 Responses »

  1. Peace upon you and your family,

    I am sorry your mum is sick, May God bless her with health. Ameen.

    I understand the depth of your concern, your family are under big changes after your brother´s wife arrival to your home,

    I understand too that you are the one living with her full time until your mother´s got the health problem.

    Certainly you have reasons to be concerned but your brother is the husband. I listen to your complaints about her, but is he complaining about her to the rest of the family?

    If you believe she is the root of all your problems, talk to the rest of the family and all of you talk to your brother and look for a way to solve the situation.

    There is something I would take into consideration, everyone of us come from different family roots and when we are used to behave in a certain way, we will need time to adapt to the new situation, new ways to live and to understand life, this is most of times quite rough. To look for the right way from the point of view of religion may bring both of you to a middle point but. at this time. it is your brother´s bussiness to get there with his wife, may God allows it. and once this is done all of you will have to accept what he accepts.

    Prayer will bring peace to your heart and around you, and it will show you the way to the path that should be taken, If it is God´s will.

  2. I think her parents are not right in advising she can meet anybody or anyone as islam has some boundaries .

    Be clear

    Husband has right to know about whom she keeps meeting and if it is non mehrem then she has to stop it .If she don't want to stop it or any of other Un Islamic practices then i don't think its worth life continuing like this ..

    First you brother needs to be educated about rights of husband and wife in islam and boundaries set by Allah .If there is clear violation then he needs to be strong enough to ask her to follow Islamic path and if she don't change her ways then its better he divorce her .Let she be happy in parents house with talk on phone all the time ...

  3. It seems to me, there have been allegations from all parties. My best advice is to let them go, and give everybody the chance to start from fresh.

    I believe your brother was wrong to make his wife share a house with his family. First of all living with a mother in law is very difficult for a wife, since the mother usually wants to rule the house - and the daughter in law. This is a perfect way for a husband to start conflicts between a wife and mother in law. Also, you are not her mahram, so she is obliged to adorn hijab in her own home. This is totally unreasonable. This is also why a husband is islamically required to provide his wife with her own home. So I believe, the bottom cause of all that has happened is your brother's decision not to do what is Islamically recommended and give his wife her own home.

    So my first advice would be to make sure she has her own home for her and her husband.

    Secondly, your brother was the one to run her out of the house. So why is he complaining that she is now out of the house? He did not drive her out as a kindness, but to side with his mother. So why complain? The best thing is to go to her, beg her forgiveness for not providing a home and for not giving her support and love and sticking by her and promise to be a husband to her in the future while also providing her with a home.

    I will keep you in my duaas.

  4. well I do agree with few of you. My brother is also extremely disappointed with her as she lied to her in different trivial matter so much so that rather than building a trust she vanished the trust wall altogether . About living place as I mentioned it , she don't want to quit her job by means of which she is still supporting her mother.and to move back to my brother she had to quit it which she doesn't want.
    Thereafter she raided our house by police by her false blames , and after enquiry nothing came to surface , and now she is giving excuse to law enforcing people that by this means she wanted to clear her husband doubts which on the first place she created herself.
    Honestly tell me if your new family member whom you accept with all the heart and love , raid your house where your unmarried sisters and mother is being dishonorable for no rhyme or reason and you are under house arrest for no reason , for which same people apologize later . The process that includes your home privacy what to suggest for such a woman , it wasn't just a wordy blame that people put on each other . She raided our house by police for nothing solid. Even in Islam if you want to accuse someone for something you have to bring forward 4 witnesses and when it prove wrong , how big that sin is ?

    • Asalaamuilaykom
      You dont have to be a genuis to see that it is the wife who is trying control everyone. Your brother needs to stand his ground tech her to act like women and Not a man!

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