Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A victim of anxiety, depression and loneliness.

Woman alone

I don't know if you'll be able to help me or not but I'd like to discuss it. So i'm 15 years old, pretty mature then my age. I'm a victim of anxiety, depression and loneliness. It all started when I became a teenager. I made new friends and they used to talk to boys and then tell each other. I never hooked up or even talked to someone so I felt bad when they used to discuss it kn front of me. So, I decided to make guy friends, I made one and we used to talk on Instagram. We never met each other but we knew about each other and saw each other in pictures and all. Anyway, we talked for like 1 and a half momth or maybe more then he hurt me pretty bad after that I never talk to a boy like I used to. He changed me, I made me insecure about my self and stuff like that. Apart from it other situations at home and at school changed me too. I was called an attention seeker by my teachers. I became ignorant to almost everything. I became selfish and rude. I used to bully the nerdy ones, I misbehaved with my parents and teachers, but inside I was hurting, I started sel harming. At the end of the I used to cry myself to sleep, I became sucidal and today also I still struggle with myself. I feel that everyone around me is fake and I hate everyone.

The above description was about who I am but there's a lot in my life. I love a singer and it's something more than love, I talk to him, I imagine ourselve in situations, I write letters to him to lift the burden off my chest and I know tgat he is the one who makes me smile. When I firstly started loving him I promised myself that I will never give him more importance than my religion but I think I do. I run a fanpage for him, I have more pictures of him on my phone then I have of myself and believe me makes me really happy. Whenever I masturbate I think of him.

That was one thing now the other, my parents don't love me well I think they don't. My mother told me that she regrets giving birth to me and that it would've been good if she would've killed me when I was born. I don't know if she meant or not but it hurted me a lot and it still does. We're never on good terms and I think I hate her.

My parents have 4 children and i'm the 3rd one plus both of them are working most of the time so I don't get the love of a parent and maybe that's why i'm so cold and disrespectful.

It's not it i've been through a lot but I think this is much is enough for you to judge my personality.

I want you to tell me something that'll help me overcome my insecurities and bad personality. I just want to be a good human and want love and appreciation. Also, I don't pray at all even though i'm Muslim. The truth is I don't know how to, i'll be really thankful if you tell me how to pray because I know that once I start praying everything will be good and better.

If you think that you want to know more about me to help me then I can talk to you too.

I think that's it.

purplebee123

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5 Responses »

  1. Dear Sister,
    I am not sure if external links are completely allowed. But if you'll do a quick search on google about, "how to pray salaah?" You'll find videos (nearly 45 minutes long ) about praying salaah, you will also find mobile applications and ebooks for it. That will really help you.

    You can also learn it from people around you who are good muslims and do pray.
    Since we are all far this is what we can do.
    Also constantly pray to Allah to make you steadfast in the prayer and in his religion.

    As for your obsession with the singer, it is very destructive. It is taking a lot of your time that you can devote for yourself. It is also leadiing to haram like masturbation etc.Please reclaim your heart and give it to Allah. Only He can understand how you feel.

    And don't be disheartened and sad because of that guy who hurt you. Niether give him the power to change you. He will be held accountable for his actions. So don't worry.

    Yes, bad company corrupts good character and many a times it is our friends who lead us to sin. Ask Allah to give you new righteous friends and make you righteous as well.

    I hope soon you find peace and your relationship witb your parents improve and they realise how good of a daughter you are. Try to avoid hate in your life. Be it for your parents, that guy, your friends and anyone. Just maintain a healthy distance from toxic people or realationships and try to make your life and your realtionship with Allah better.

    I hope it helps.

  2. I'm sorry you are feeling such a pain
    It was the same thing for me when I was 15.

    But please you CAN'T bully others just because you feel bad

    So stop that right now.
    It is wrong to bully
    So stop that

    I'm sorry your mother said those mean things about you.

    When it comes to prayer, you can just search for it on YouTube as
    "How to pray Salah"

    You will find many helpful videos there.

    And lastly
    After you do wuzu
    You take a rosary or thusbee and say these words with each bead
    "Ya-roofo"
    "Ya-Raheemo"

    You will feel better
    Trust me
    Good luck
    Salamalekum

  3. Start small sister. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Then repeat this process with others.

  4. Okay first of all check this out..

    https://youtu.be/WKblG-Zoagk

    https://youtu.be/W9kTd7q1zjE

    It will be helpful for you to learn salah step by step ..
    Secondly read 99 names of allah everyday atleast once...nd even try to lean them..it helped me I'm sure it will hell you too..
    May Allah ease your pain..

  5. Try this app on Google play for learning salah

    Step By Step Salah - Namaz
    Google Play: 4.6 
     (6,243)

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