Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Abandoned after a promise of marriage



Hope this site will help me. I am in love with a muslim guy. We have loved each other for 7 years. He is a muslim and I am hindu. We faced a lot of problems, though we loved each other. Two years ago I spoke with my mom about my love, and she wanted to speak with him. I introduced him to my mom. Both spoke, and finally my mom agreed because she felt good about his character. She told him "complete your studies, get settled in your career, and ask your parents' permission too".  He spoke to his dad, and his dad too said the same "complete your studies first". Then we both concentrated on our career.

After that, I finished my graduation and placed in a company. He too finished his studies and placed in a job, but 6 months ago he said  "according to islam, having a relationship with a girl before marriage is a sin, so hereafter I am not ready to speak with you. I realised my mistake, so I will marry you with my parents' permission only if you convert to islam" and "there is no way to marry a hindu girl according to islam".

He went for 4 months jammath. Before going, he promised that there will be some solution and he will surely come and speak to my mom about my marriage. Yesterday his jamaath was over,  and I tried his number but his mobile is off. My father is forcing my mom to make a decision about my marriage, and my mom is asking me about him. I don't know what to say.

I can't marry any other guy. He is the first boy with whom I fell in love. I don't want to miss him, because he is such loyal man. I want him to be the first and last boy to share my love, life, everything. Moreover I don't want to cheat another boy in the name of marriage, because I love him truly. If I don't have any way to marry him, I will not marry any other. Suicide will be a better option for me, instead marrying another guy.

Will islam allow him to marry me? Will islam help me to be true to my husband whom I love?


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4 Responses »

  1. I'm not sure if you know about muslim will not marry any other non muslim in general. It appears that your parents, his parents and him try to cover the truth so as to avoid to say no. They deliberately to delay things with times. For short, he won't marry you because of your religion.

    You may think about to convert but do not do this for this marriage. I hope you do it for yourself. To be honest, for your case as he never encourages you to seek Islam, I doubt his sincerity about marrying you. I guess this is only his excuse to leave you. I'm sorry, he is a shame to the community for starting this and being cowardly for not responsible to what he did. Move on, you have a better future.

  2. OP: he said "according to islam, having a relationship with a girl before marriage is a sin, so hereafter I am not ready to speak with you. I realised my mistake, so I will marry you with my parents' permission only if you convert to islam" and "there is no way to marry a hindu girl according to islam"..... I don't want to miss him, because he is such loyal man.

    After 7 years he realized "according to islam, having a relationship with a girl before marriage is a sin". He does not seem to be loyal.

  3. Well, we cant judge someone's loyality. If he has suggested you to accept islam as he cant get married to a non-muslim girl you should definitely consider it. I also invite you to accept islam and have a good life with the one who love you and you love him too.

  4. As Salaam Alaikum. My dear sister in Humanity, I pray to Allah (The creator, cherisher, nourisher, sustainer...) to grant you peace, tranquility and ease. At the forefront, I will tell you it isn't going to be easy whether you both marry or do not marry, except for the will of the one who created you, him and everything else that exists, so seek the help of the one who provides ease.

    I have seen and heard from many people who have been through this pain and remember very well, at the end the pain will subside, no matter how bad it is, so suicide and harming yourself is never an option. Please remember your parents who love you more that you love this guy and take suicide out of the equation.

    Coming to your question "Will islam allow him to marry me? Will islam help me to be true to my husband whom I love?"
    Islam is way of life to help you submit your will to the one who created you so that you may have peace irrespective of whether you are in tough situation or good times, you will have tranquility and peace knowing that you have left the steering of your life to that one who is in complete control of everything that exists. We as humans lose peace and tranquility when we move away from this way of Islam (example being relationships outside of marriage be it premarital or extramarital).

    I am not here to judge either you or the guy. In Islam, muslim man can only marry a muslim, jew or christian women. It is forbidden to marry other than these. Why -- that is a different topic. Now, irrespective of this guy knew it before and forged a relationship with or just had a recent epiphany and discovered he was wrong, you two cannot get married according to Islam, it will be considered a fornication rather than marriage while you do not happen to be among a Jew, Christian or a Muslim.

    You are craving for him and his company as you love him. I advice you to discover life and its meaning. I in all humbleness as a brother in humanity advice you to explore Islam, the way of life. Try to understand why we exist, why there is pain and suffering, why do we love, why to we fail and why others might fail us. Of the many things you will understand, it is a reminder from our creator, or a test, or a blessing, and surely not a punishment if it has gotten us closer to our creator.

    Now, if for some reason, you accept Islam (I make a supplication that may Allah guide you to Islam and use you to guide your parents and friends to Islam), then you can marry this guy, if you feel he is the right one to lead you to next life in Jannah (In Shaa Allah). This life is only temporary 50-60-80 years, the life after is eternal, so think of it. The love of this guy is only limited, your parents and siblings love to you is greater and even greater and greatest is the love of your creator to you, try learn who is your creator, every true answer and reference will lead you to Islam, and will lead you to tranquility peace and make you heal.

    May Allah grant you cure, from this situation and make it easy upon you.

    Brother in Humanity and In Shaa Allah in Islam,

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