Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How do I absolve myself of my sins?

girl praying

Hello and Salaam to all,

I am 13 and live in America. I have committed lots of bad sins in my past. I have been spending time during Ramadan studying my religion and reading the Quran more. Sadly, I'm still learning so I read the English translation, but I now know how to read Arabic too! After I started reading the Quran more, I have been spending whole days doing almost nothing except studying Islam, and now I am so afraid that the Almighty Allah will not forgive my sins.

Before I turned 13, I was a bit careless as my mother didn't really stress to keep track of me that much. I used to pray some days when I felt I had done something truly terrible, and I would pray some days without praying all 5 prayers, etc. Also, I was a bit careless when I commited sin before now (like a couple months ago), as I didn't really properly understand my religion and I never took time to study it. I also knew that the All Knowing Allah would be disappointed in me, and I feared Him in the times when I remembered, and still I sinned. I have improved now, and I am sinning less and less, but there are still days when I break my "streak of good" and let the devil slip me into sinning.

I have now learned more than ever and I now know the true path of righteousness. I am filled with fear and I am afraid that Allah will not forgive me for what I have done. I know that the punishments and requirements for repenting are all different and complex. But I know Allah is The Forgiving and The Merciful. Let's put this straight:

I know how to act in the future, as the Quran is guiding me. I simply want to learn to forget my past and remove my sins from my history so I can start over and really put commitment into my religion. I have already decided to wear the hijab before 8th grade starts, as I know this will please the Lord who is Knowing of all things.

I simply want to know:

What can I do to erase my sins? (What are ways to erase them?)

How can I prevent myself from sinning??

Is it true that all sins are forgiven except the greatest sin (associating anyone with Allah, Who is Knowing of all things and The One and Only God)???

How do you erase a sin before it is counted as one? (If that's even possible)?

Please help, and May Allah, The Forgiver and the Knower, bless you all! 🙂




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9 Responses »

  1. Asalam,
    As you said Allah is Marcy full and forgiving... As humans we are bound to make mistakes but the fact that we realise and try to repent and stay away from the sins Allah will forgive us.We are not perfect and Allah knows this just try and keep on reading the Qur'an and practice the sunnah....Hangout with good muslimah friends.... Since you are now engaging in less and less sins show that Allah is with you and He is forgiving your sins so you don't have to beat yourself over the past rather concentrate on pleasing Allah and finding inner peace and tranquility in earning His pleasure... May Allah forgive us all and make us of the dwellers of jannah ameen

  2. Assalamu'alaykom sister!

    Mashallah you're doing great already. The fact that you regret your sins and wish to repent for them itself shows that your on the right path and I sincerely wish you continue. And the hijab idea is great!! We live in times when most girls don't wear hijab for various reasons and I think it's wonderful that your willing to go against the social norm (you mentioned you live in the states) and I'm totally rooting for you!

    As for the erasing of your sins, know that Allah is the All-forgiving the most Merciful and He forgives whom He wishes to forgive. Pray to Him, ask for His forgiveness and ask for His guidance and most important is that you have faith in Him. There is no sin too great for his mercy (except shirk, but you already know that) and you must believe in that He is good and that He wants what's best for you. And that if you are sincere in your repentance He will forgive you.

    May Allah bless you and guide and make you a good role model for your sisters!

  3. @ShineForYou We live in times when most girls don't wear hijab for various reasons and I think it's wonderful that your willing to go against the social norm (you mentioned you live in the states) and I'm totally rooting for you!

    So what are the reasons for a girl not to wear a hijab? In my experience these days hijab is USED as an accessory AND GIRLS OFTEN WEARING A HIJAB ARE ACTUALLY HIDING BEHIND A MASK THEMSELVES and they show we are more religious than anyone else its more like a competition sorry but that's the FACT. At least with those that don't wear it are actually being true to themselves. People have choices and paths they can choose from not to make a point then abuse there position. Also I live in a country where no offense hijab is not acceptable in my society but norm in pakistan etc countries yet they are more westernized then people from my country and dont wear it at all and I REPEAT THEY DON'T WEAR A HIJAB.

    Change for the better don't change to prove a point. May Allah make you a better person masAllah you doing great at least you recongise you need to work on yourself and at 13 years old that is really good.

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    MashaAllah, sister, you're doing so well already. Allah is Most Merciful, so trust in His Forgiveness. Keep up your prayers, and maybe look for a sisters-only study group or social circle to join, so that you can meet and make friends with other practising sisters.

    Well done on deciding to wear hijab. I think people often under-estimate what a big step it can be to start wearing hijab, but you are doing the right thing in wanting to follow the Islamic guidance given to us. May Allah give you strength to keep working towards this, and reward you for your efforts.

    You ask how we can prevent ourselves from sinning. That's a tricky one - we are all human and therefore will in all likelihood make many mistakes during our lives. To reduce the chances of sinning, we can do our best to follow Islamic guidance from the Quran and ahadith, and pray for the strength to do what is right and to be guided to stay on the straight path. When we make mistakes, we can then recognise them, repent, make changes to our lives to avoid repeating the mistake, and keep going, inshaAllah.

    May Allah continue to guide you.

    Midnightmoon editor

  5. Dear Sister,

    I am glad you made a decision to improve yourself and get closer to Allah. In your post, you never mentioned what sins you are referring to and what did you do in the past. One thing I need you to remember that Allah is all forgiving as along as you are sincere to repentant. (I am wondering what kind of sins that a 13 years old would have committed that overburdened you so much!) At the same time, I would also advise you don't overwhelm and overload yourself by fear of committing sins in your life. It is a matter of fact that we will be tempt and we are all test in this world. (I know some muslims that can go extreme by not interacting with any society members and consider others are all kufar. They don't allow their kids to do anything outside except going to school. This is NOT a right attitude.) To be a religious person does not mean to go extreme. It doesn't mean that you should avoid everything in order not to commit sins. We are putting in this earth for a reason - to worship Him alone and pass our test on earth. Inshallah, just try our best to live under the guidance of Allah. Your life focus NOW is to study and get a good grade, be a good daughter and a good muslim - praying, fasting, paying zakah, helping others (not only muslim) learn to be a better person in develop good character, such as honesty, responsibility, etc,etc. InshAllah, you are on the right path, just don't put too much pressure on yourself. Take care.

  6. Sister,

    Although we may never forget our past, we can take from it and grow to be a better person. You sound as though you have already taken the steps necessary to move on and leave your past behind you. May Allah almighty guide you forward to a life filled with love, strength and happiness.


  7. I'm not sure if that question was directed at me but in case it was I'm replying that you'll have to ask each and every girl to find out why she in particular doesn't wear hijab.

    And, yes, some are wearing hijab as a mask but that doesn't mean we should undermine those who are wearing being true to themselves. And, lots of girls who don't wear hijab are hiding under some other form of mask, so I think it's safe to say hijab is a better choice of mask.

    Anyhow, I think the OP's reason for wearing hijab is appropriate since she mentioned that she wished to please Allah.

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