Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Abused since 9 years. In a serious need of help.

Sexual abuse


Im 18 yrs now. Since i was 9, ive been abused physically (molested) and mentally by my first cousin. He is 12 years elder to me and got married when i was 11, but still he continued the same. I never knew what was happening until i grew up to be 14.

When i came to my senses (when i was 14)  i started revolting and i even slapped him and warned him that i would tell this to my parents, after which he stopped. But after his 7 yrs of married life and too many marital problems, he wants to divorce his wife and get married to me. He is now abusing me mentally since 2 yrs. I would honestly not be alive today, if suicide wasn't haram.

And due to tonns of reasons, I CANT REVEAL ABOUT HIM TO ANYBODY, not even indirectly.

Im sick of this and want to get married to any person of my parents choice as soon as possible and get rid of all these issues and also to overcome my temptations. This is the only solution left. But they dont want to get me married until im 21. And i can't bear this anymore.

Please suggest me any dua which wil get me married asap to a pious and loving person. And also any advice if i can get regarding how to convince my parents to get me married.


saba zainab

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4 Responses »

  1. Bismillah
    Have your parents listen to mufti menk

  2. Assalaamualaykum saba,

    I am so sorry about the heartwrenching abuse you have suffered in the hands of your cousin.

    There is in fact a great due for marriage, but I think that you should also tell your parents about the abuse so that they understand why it is that you want to get married earlier than what they desire.

    The dua is the dua of Istikhara following a 2-rakah prayer, the Salal Al-Istikhara. It is perfect for you, as you are looking for a "pious and loving" person.

    You can find information on this dua in the blue menu at the top of this page entitled Istikhara Questions and Answers, but to give you a translation, you ask Allah to "show you what is best, through His knowledge, empower you, through His power, and beg Him to grant you His tremendous favor, for He has power, while you are without power, He has knowledge, while you are without knowledge, and He is the knower of all things invisible. If in His knowledge, your getting married is in the best interests of your religion, your life in this world and your hereafter, then please make it possible for you, make it easy for you, and then bless you in it. If not, then please turn it away from you, turn you away from it, and make it easy for you to do well, wherever you may happen to be, and make you content with His verdict."

    I hope this post sees you feeling better, and that you are able to use this dua to your benefit sister. Please hang in there and do not be afraid to tell your parents, as they will Inshallah want to protect you from this person.



  3. Well, take your parents in confidence. Let them know what your cousin had been doing to you. Well truly after reading your post I thought that If I were in your place I would have killed him.

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