Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Abusive dad

Young woman looking thoughtful, pensive

Salam Everyone! 

I know it’s a bit weird but I seriously I can’t take all these things anymore I’m currently in grade 10th

My dad from the beginning he used to hate me because when I was born he thought that I was sinister cause he fell from 4th floor because of some partners he used to work he was always in to girls and he married my mother by saying that I’ll kill you if you don’t marry me khair that happened. one of my sister she’s married now her marriage expenses and everything was done by my uncle.

my dad he had a lot of money at the start. he didn’t want to work because he said you’re mom isn’t good for me. he used to beat her like animals and he used to have affairs with maids and all he did almost 37 marriages still he’s unsatiafied. my mom told him even if you’re not happy with me you can marry another woman.

he’s not marrying someone else he’s giving torture to us all the time he left all his wives and he wasn’t doing any work. my mom she had parlour she used to work day and night for all of us when she used to come upstarirs he would beat her by saying this that she’s not a good wife. he wasn’t doing any work since year. she was the one handling all of our expenses.

after that he married a lot of woman and the woman left him cause he was beating them like an animals.

after I grew up - actually I’m still a kid but seriously my heart is you know it’s completely broken now - he says that Go ask for money from your friends or guys he even msg my friends. they all now tease me by saying stuff to me and guys used to talk that she do friends with benefits scene. whenever I walk I feel like I’m a prostitute cause every guy looks me In a bad way. he used to msg my friends for money and that was so embarrassing.

now I’m totally broken and alone I cry to Allah every night. he knows my heart is going through a lot of stuff.

I can’t concentrate on my studies now he’s telling me that buy me a car and there is a guy who’s always taking advantage of me Like he’s my dad but he doesn’t care what people talks about me. I feel so broken when I come to pray cause I feel like I’m a prostitute because I feel like if I stand for my voice allah wouldn’t like it.

I feel like I’m almost finished my mom is sick and and my life is terrible cause of him I lost my childhood I lost my thoughts I lost my everything you all know at this stage I think like I’m a bad person and I cry to Allah that guy he sometimes go for oral sex but I don’t like it when he touches me I cry every night  WHAT SHOULD I DO? I’m confused I seek help from Allah and you elders out there

please don’t do harsh comments cause I’m already broken I need you people prayers please!

Salina

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8 Responses »

  1. I do not know where you live but if you are in the West I highly recommend that you report his abusive behavior to Child Care authorities. Alternatively you and your mother should move out and live elsewhere. You can also consider involving your female relatives.

    May Allah help you and all the best!

  2. I will do dua for you sister,if you want ever talk I am here for you,please stay strong,nobody can be your judge apart from Allah swt,I feel so hurt for you after reading this may Allah swt guide us all,I don't know if you can exchange numbers on here to help each other through our difficult times,plz can someone tell me if we can contact each other and thank-you in advance

  3. OP: .... he says that Go ask for money from your friends or guys he even msg my friends. they all now tease me by saying stuff to me and guys used to talk that she do friends with benefits scene. whenever I walk I feel like I’m a prostitute cause every guy looks me In a bad way. he used to msg my friends for money and that was so embarrassing......I can’t concentrate on my studies now he’s telling me that buy me a car and there is a guy who’s always taking advantage of me ............... think like I’m a bad person and I cry to Allah that guy he sometimes go for oral sex but I don’t like it when he touches me I cry every night WHAT SHOULD I DO? I’m confused I seek help from Allah and you elders out there.

    Are you saying your dad is making you have sex with your friends in exchange for money? How long this has been going on? How old are you? You need to get away from your family

  4. You must leave this kind of dad. He is sick person. Your mom should come forward and take a stand for you. Why don't you guys call police. Be brave and stand up for your self. Good girl

  5. My dear
    My heart goes out for you..

    I don't understand why anyone would put up with this. I'm sorry to say, that your mum allowed your dad to abuse her her girls like that.your mum should have protected you from this sick person. As a mother she had the responsibility towards you and your sister. I 'm not being judgmental towards your mum I don't know what kind of situation she was in... A mother can go through any kind of hardship for their childrent but wouldn't allow her children to be subjected to this.
    It must have been hell living with such a man. I'm sorry for your guys.

    It's so wrong, how come your uncle can't see what's going on.
    May Allah give you and your mother streangth to get away from your abusive father. You have to be strong here dear, for yourself and your dear mother and move out. You take the first step, seek help Allah will help you. Get out and don't look back.
    Report him to the autharity no matter where you live you must take action against his abuse.Don't worry about your "friends" if you had any sincere
    friends they could have taken some action.

    you father is a week and sick person he won't chase you. Make doa for him also so Allah guides him too.Allah is merciful and kind.

    Do a lot of Astagfar. To get out of any bad situation it's advised to recite Hazrat Yusuf'z doA when he repented.
    "LailahA ILLA antas Subhanika Inni kuntO MinnazzAlameen"

    May Allah protect you and your mother.

    • @MsZ

      Prophet Yunus (AS) made this dua "LailahA ILLA antas Subhanika Inni kuntO MinnazzAlameen", not Prophet Yusuf(AS) - just for correction 🙂

      May Allah help our sister

  6. Girl.. simple thing.. You people have tolerated him and that is why he has those guts to be more and more useless. If on first blunder by him you would have supressed him he wouldnt have had been at such a cheap level.

    Police case and all file later. First handle him and literally threaten him i repeat threaten him with harsh consequences and about the payback time. If still he doesnt improves. SLAP him hard. I might be saying this which is a Gunah. Islam religion and ethics later, first comes humanity and i seriously doubt if he is even a Human. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. Do not tolerate his nuisance anymore. Because the more you tolerate it will keep getting worse and worse. By the way, dont you have an elder brother ?

    Before its way too late, take the extreme step. Since you wrote Khair, i assume you know Urdu. Ek dhav do tukdey kardijiye. But you must become brave and take the crucial steps and make him realise his blunders. And i am sure, one SLAP and he will remember ALLAH.

    I wish you all the very best.

  7. The only thing you can do is pray to ALLAH swt and have sabr. And In Sha ALLAH you will be fine. It happens alot. You should concentrate on your studies and get a good job and take care of your mum. But you really need to report that sick individual to the police and the Child care service. I will make dua for In Sha ALLAH but dont lose hope, its a test and In Sha ALLAH you will pass

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