Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My abusive father is coming back

hiding

Last year I had written a post about my father abusing me. I was kind of overwhelmed with the response. I don't know, I guess I was kind of brainwashed that I was in the wrong somehow. My own mother does not believe me and she actually called me a liar, and told me that I am filthy person who has disgusting thinking about my father.  So to have strangers believe me, seriously you guys don't know what that means to me- that someone actually care about me to acknowledge that I am a human being.

Since I wrote last time, I have been seriously ill. I think I mentioned in the last post that I had been having problems with my health. I had two jinn insides me; seriously it has been so bad. I have never been through this in my whole life, to be honest it has been so bad- thatI would get possessed and tried to harm others and myself. I have been screaming, crying, making weird noises....there is nothing it didn't make me do. I felt like I was going crazy or that it would actually kill me.

I have been like this for a year on and off, and I've been to countless sheikhs. They have taken so much money, but yet they didn't help me. I had given up hope that I would ever get better, and it really made me depressed. I thought it would never leave my body until I died. So I started to have suicidal thoughts, thinking that this is my only way out. I guess Allah Ta'ala watches you, and knew that I was at my breaking point and that I couldn't take any more.

So finally three months ago, it was like from Allah Ta'ala that I found this sheikh. He helped me.  He didn't tell me the name of who did it, but just told me that someone in the family sent a jinn inside out of jealousy. I don't know why anyone could do something so evil; it's scary that someone else can do that to someone. Don't they understand by doing something so evil they can go to hell? I mean it's so scary that you can not trust anyone anymore, like I needed any more reason not to. I mean, I have been so ill for so long, and it is because someone did that to me.

Seriously I am better and my life is falling back into place. Emotionally I am feeling stronger, and I no longer feel depressed. I have just started a new job. But I have a problem, and that is my father is coming back. He has been at his country for like four months now, and he's coming back. I don't want him to come back. I don't know what to do, my mother doesn't listen to me. I know I have already shared my problem, I mean it's why I came back to this website.

I was reading the answers again, but I couldn't really act on them last year because of the jinn problems. But there is a saying, better late than never. So I decided that I am not going to spend a penny from my wages and save up money to leave. I don't want to be victem anymore, and I really don't want to go through depression again. I just can't do it anymore. The only reason I haven't left so far is because I don't want to upset my mother. But I realize I can't die everyday just to please my mother. I love her so much, so why does she not believe me? Why does she call me a liar? And why does my father have to come back? I was just starting to remember what normal feel like, what living a normal life is like, and to have no problems.

-u0904058

 


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6 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum Sister,

    I will try my best to answer what I know about and I hope that I can help you out, inn shaa Allah. If there is something confusing, please do let me know. I skimmed through your last post and the responses.

    As per your first paragraph, you are not in the wrong. There are times that we are tested in the world and we don't understand the reasons why. Sometimes our trials make us face our fears when we don't want to. Avoiding our fears never allows us to overcome them. Sometimes our trials involve removing any fear from us so that we fear Allah the most and thereby, shorten the gap in the connection we have with Allah-thus bringing us closer to the person we should be.

    If you have jinns bothering you, I would imagine that whoever can help you should not be charging you money. You should be reading Surah Baqarah (not only playing it on an electronic device), Surah Naas, Surah Falaq, and Iyat-ul-Kursi, all these should help you. I am sure others can add to this list Inn shaa Allah.

    As for harming yourself--when we feel hurt or a loss of power over our life, it can seem easier to harm yourself to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the situation. It isn't a good choice, but nonetheless, some of us make this choice. I believe you need the help of a professional, in addition to doing Dhikr. Get counselling for yourself so that you can feel empowered again, inn shaa Allah.

    Do not pay anyone to try to cure you or tell you parts of the unknown. I even think that believing that you can't be cured without them feeds into supporting the black magic--it is like believing that Allah can not help you, AsthughfirAllah-- and Allah is indeed enough for us.--so put 100% of your trust on Allah and believe that no power is greater than him--in fact, there is NO POWER in anything that can even be close to an ounce of Allah's power. Are we not all His creations? With your tawaqal upon Allah, you can manage it and it seems from your post that you have learnt a lot in the last while.

    As for moving out (and I think you are over 22)--if you have to protect yourself, then that is what you need to do. If it is possible, move in with a family member that you can trust OR a female friend. But you have to take extra caution and care that you don't transgress the limits of Allah. Given what you have went through, you would be doing this to protect yourself from further harm at the hands of your father.

    I strongly urge you to be in connection with other female Muslims so that you are NOT isolated and have positive influences in your life. It is very concerning that you will have to fend for yourself given that your abusive father is returning to the house you are living in, so be diligent, smart, exercise caution, seek refuge in Allah, and make connections with the Muslimahs around you.

    As for your mother, sister, what has happened to you has happened to you. You don't need to convince anyone and you know the truth. Sometimes our closest loved ones do things that are unimaginable and betrayal from them feels unbearable, but try to not have expectations from your mother that she will not fulfill--it will just hurt you repeatedly. For whatever reason she doesn't believe you, it could be the most illogical reason--but don't concern yourself on that and fight with her.

    First immerse yourself in the remembrance of Allah
    Seek guidance from Allah and Do Isthikhara
    Do not concern yourself with convincing others, but rather put your time/effort into protecting yourself emotionally and physically.
    Make connections with other Muslimah
    Move away and do so in the best conditions possible.

    May Allah ease your difficulties and help you to be successful in this trial, Ameen.

  2. Sister,

    If you have a will, a way and some finances...I would advise you to move out. Your mother it seems is aware of your fathers perverted ways however she chooses to look the other way. God willing you have good Muslim friends or close family members that you can go to. Alhumdillilah you are doing well and have been moving forward with your life. By staying in the same house when your father returns is not in your best interests and can do more harm than good. May Allah guide you and keep you safe.

    Salam

  3. Hi sister,

    I have read both your posts, I was really touched by your story.

    Leave your home please, don't accept to be abbused no more. A father who abbuses is not a father. It's not a sin to hate him, he have done horrible things for you. Fathers are supposed to take care of their daughters, your father is not a father, he is a monster.

    You are felling better now, your not depressed anymore, I've been trough depression too, I now how hard it is, don't let your father come and put you in this worse situation again, take care of yourself, protect yourself.

    I understand your love for your mother, but you cant sacrifice your life and your sanity because of your mother. You tried talking to her, you did everything that you could, but she doesn't listen. Now is time to think of what is better for you. Love her and forgive her for not believing in you, but run away. She obviously knows what happens, but she denies as denying is easier for her. Don't let your family control and destroy your life, save yourself.

    I know it will be a hard path to run away, but it's the right path, its the healthy one, I'm sure Allah wants for you what is the best for you.

    May Allah love be with you my sister.
    I will pray for you, and hope you find a better path.

    Salam

  4. Salaams,

    Sister, you have been given some very good and consistent advice above. I hope everything works out for you in shaa Allah.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. You have to leave that place and get ur own place and never look back and contact the authorities on him

  6. Hi sister..MAY ALLAH GVE YOU THE HEART OF PATIENT...THIs what am going through am 23yrs pray is the key yur relative won't understand you my mum is a christian nd my daddy is a muslim I do PRAY....I ALWAYS PRAY TO. GET MY FUTURE HUSBAND TO COME FOR ME I CAN HVE PEACE OF MIND IN HIS HOUSE WITH MY KIDS

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