Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Abusive Husband

Help is available to escape domestic abuse

Help is available to escape domestic abuse

Asalam Alaikum

Please I need help. I have been married for 7 years but the suffering I am receiving at the hands of my husband is getting worse. He constantly tells me how useless I am, what a bad mother, a whore, worthless, that he wishes he had never married me. I have had two women ring me up to tell me that my husband had asked them to marry him, which he denies. He controls my money and forces me to borrow from my family to support his business, which if they fail he accuses me of it being my fault. My grandmother now has no money left as she has lent it all to me yet my husband still pressures me for more. Everything that happens is my fault. He beats me regularly and then blames me for it.

I am now pregnant with my seventh child Ahamdullilah and have struggled to work and raise them. I do all the work for my husband's business as he cannot speak English, which he also blames me for. He refuses to help in the house and it is getting more difficult as I have been diagnosed with a heart problem. I am not allowed to have friends or even to be nice to people. He tells all our neighbours how useless I am and how he should have married a proper Muslim woman (I am a revert). In front of everyone he plays the loving husband and father. My self esteem has hit rock bottom.

I have now told him that I cannot take anymore but he just laughs at me and tells me if I leave him he will kill me and the children, which I believe he is capable of. He tells me I deserve everything I get as I am not a proper Muslim and all this is in front of our children . Please if anyone has any words of advice on whether or not I should put up with it for the sake of Allah

Jazak Allah Khairen


I have just found out that my Nikah may not be valid as I had no wali and one male witness and one female witness also no dowry has been played even though it was meant to be played in the first 2 years

I have informed my husband that I believe the nikah to be invalid and he has tried to rape me as he blames me.



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4 Responses »

  1. I cant belive it. U Have been living with this monster for such a long time. Why??? In islam u have a right to leave such abuse marrieg then why did u suffer this much??? Its very bad enviroment for ur kids to grow in. Im sure they have been suffering all this abuse too. May allah reward u all. Leave sister!!!! Leave him as soon as u can. If a father is ready to kill his innocent kids then thses kids better off without such coward father. The work u do for him why dont u leave him and do it for self and ur kids. At least then u wont have such an abuse monster sitting next to u and telling u ur worthless etc. U need to leave him if not for ur self then for ur kids. Hes not a good muslim him self. He has no rights to tell u whether ur good muslim or not. Talk to ur famly or a lawyer to help u and ur kids get out of this abuse marrieg.

  2. Sister its too much .take divorce n move out.take the help of police..which county you stay ?

  3. How can you stay for 7 years sister????? Why would you do that??? What are you waiting for??? For him to kill you or your children? You need to move out sister! Islam gives you rights sister.
    He is manipulating you. This environment is toxic for your children. You need to go to the police and get him arrested. Ask your family to help you. He calls himself a muslim? He isn't human in the first place, forget being a muslim. hope he will rot in hell forever insha a Allah, so disgusting.
    You already doing everything on your own , you can work and take care of your children sister. Please move out, get him arrested, he is dangerous. Do not let him to have any contact with the kids. Go to the police, get him arrested, change the city and move on. Do not ever contact him, and please don't be fooled he will change one day, he won't. Just move on.
    Also as you said you didn't have any walI, you most likely are not even married to this monster, please ask the imam for this.

  4. Salaam sister,

    This story is so bad that it's hard to believe it's true.

    Please forgive me if I'm wrong but this question seems to be from a troll.

    If it's not, then I would advise the sister to get separated from her husband. Don't worry about if he can kill you and your children. Your and Your children's death is fixed by Allah and you will die when Allah wants you to die and not when that man want's to kill you.

    May Allah guide you.

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