Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I accept he is gone?

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I was in a relationship with a guy for two year, at the same time he was in relationship with another girls for 8 years, i know about other relationship but i still won´t give up because i love him so much.

last year we broke up because of some issues.,even thought i heard from my friends that hes gonna get married soon i still call and msg him everyday but theres no reply from him. I love him so much and i sure he can take good care of me. . I feel confused now should I pray to Allah to have him in my arms again?
Can I perform Solat al istikhara to know if i should pray and hope for him to come back or just accept it as will of Allah that he will never come back?
Thanks

p


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4 Responses »

  1. As salamu alaykum, sister,

    Alhamdulillah, you are thinking about it and have the thought of letting him go on your mind, this is a big step, masha´Allah. The following it is just my personal opinion, please take it with a pinch of salt.

    You should understand something, he stopped all contact with you, Alhamdulillah, he is being faithfull to his wife to be. This is tough but you should face that he belongs to other woman, insha´Allah, let him go and wish both of them all the good that you want for yourself. He is gone and you have to take your life back, give all of you the freedom that you deserve.

    You deserve someone that truly loves you and ask for you in a halal way, while you have this man´s image around, you are putting obstacles to your own joy and Peace, to what you truly deserve, work from now on for a real, true love, insha´Allah.

    To be able to leave all this behind you should do tawbah, true repentance for all that you have done wrong, be back to the Straight Path, pray for your well being, for your capability to forgive, to let go and for the best for yourself. After two years, you will need a time to recover yourself but insha´Allah you will do it and you will open yourself to true, unconditional Love.

    Sister, come back to the Straight Path and stop having relationship, dating, this is forbiden for muslims. Insha´Allah, you will learn from this experience, return to your salat and learn more about your deen.

    The following maybe helpful:

    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/i-am-sinking/

    Wasalam,
    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Salaams Sister

    It seems like this guy has clearly made up his mind who he wants to be with. As difficult as it may be for you, you should let go of him. You believe that he can take good care of you, but there are lots of others out there that could take better care of you. Think about this- you were in a relationship with this man and at the same time he was seeing someone else. Now would you honestly be able to trust someone like this for the rest of your life? You deserve so much better sister. You should rather ask ALLAH to give you what is best for you. Whatever is good and destined for you will come to you.

  3. salam..

    i wrote a post but no one has replied to me.. im realy depressed right now.

    (I deleted the rest of your comment. Has your post been published yet? If not then it probably will be soon Insha'Allah. If it has, then leave your comment on your post please. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  4. take it from me sis, there's nothing more worthless (other than to disobey Allah) than waste your time, dignity and selfrespect for a guy who A) keeps you as a secret and B) dosnt give you the love and respect you deserve. inshaAllah find someone who is a pious muslim, fall in love for the right reasons and try to do things the halal way. inshaAllah i hope that helps.

    best wishes cuz i kno what ur going thru 🙂

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