Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I think I am addicted to masturbation (CLOSED)

Thoughts and thinking

Praise be to Allah. Allah (Swt) knows best. He is the Creator of everything and is the Almighty.

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

To introduce myself, I am a 17 year old teenager with an addiction since I was 14. I got addicted to masturbation on accident when having my hands in my pants at someone else's house. This accident changed my life forever. Ultimately I am not convinced it's haram, but I am troubled about how often I do it and the reasons I do it for.

I need to masturbate to get my dirty thoughts as far away as from myself. Overall, I've protected my chastity from OTHER PEOPLE. However, when I abstain for days/weeks/months from masturbation (all of which I tried), my mind becomes the most impure thing in life. I completely turn into an animal with all the thoughts that bury my mind. All I think about is impurity, like the bodies of my aunts and cousins, the girls' bodies in my school who wear very tight clothing, the women in advertisements that I unintentionally see. I see all these things unintentionally (meaning that I have no control even with my effort to lower gaze). My mind becomes so filthy and impure from staying abstinent. When I masturbate, I don't see it as for pleasure, but as of a way to clear my mind and remove all the impurity in there.

Ok, well as a 17 year old, I cannot marry. Although it's hard, I do lower my gaze. But when I accidentally see a view that I find pleasure from, it sticks to my head, causing me to think about it constantly. And again, I do guard my parts from other people.

The thing that makes me extremely mad is when people say to fast. FIRST OFF, I WOULD HAVE TO FAST EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE TILL I'M 30. Second off, IT HARDLY WORKS. During ramadan, I would still feel the same amount of urges. Thirdly, I am EXTREMELY SKINNY, I have been underweight since elementary. For the fourth reason, my parents would obviously be suspicious of fasting everyday for no apparent reason. My family URGRES me to eat a lot and whenever. I eat about 4000 calories daily (which is twice the necessary) and I still don't gain any weight. This is crazy because fasting is hardly a solution, especially for me.

If masturbation was 100% haram, which it is NOT, I would DEFINITELY QUIT. I try my best to follow all of Allah's orders. I am a slave of Allah and do attempt to follow his orders. I wish I could marry. I wish I could marry so much, to a beautiful wife with a beautiful body and a good deen. This is one of my greatest dreams in dunya.

I believe I am very patient kid. I was able to stop masturbating for months one time. The only reason I came back was because I was tired of the constant thoughts and portrayals of the inappropriate things online. I want to get it out of my head! OUT of my head!!! Masturbation does that. Your body is controlled to lower your sex drive temporarily after masturbating. The longer you wait, the more urges and the more impurities in your soul, mind, and heart.

I love Allah(swt) so much and often get the chills and shiver when thinking about His power and how He could punish me. But everything in life has a reason. I masturbate to get rid of the thoughts and haram stuff in my mind. My mind after being abstinent is CRAZY. It makes it DIFFICULT to even focus on a test. I look at my aunts and cousins sometimes and see a view due to tight clothing that pleasures me but I wish I had never seen. It is disgusting to see that I become an animal, a monster, a very impure person from being abstinent. My intention when I masturbate is to be clear from the impurities and REMOVE all the thoughts that haunt my head.

Also, I do not watch porn. Porn is terrible and disgusting. I don't want to use my brain on inappropriate pictures to bring me to orgasm.

Would constantly committing a temporary act of pleasure in order to rid your mind of the terrible, impure thoughts you are experiencing be better than being constantly ENGULFED in the haram pictures, images, videos, and thoughts in your head?  Does it make sense to be "pure" and "chaste" when having all these pictures, images, and videos of naked women in your head every day? How should I reduce my urges when all the remedies don't work, SPECIFICALLY for me? Why is it that masturbation makes me feel and become more pure and a better person in the heart and soul?

Thank you very much for reading. May Allah bless you and grant you Jannahh for helping the desperate youth. Life is only temporarily and is not forever. I would NEVER in my life want to get sins over a few seconds of pleasure. It is basically a trade off, should I look at this picture and masturbate for a couple minutes and feel more pure in the mind, or should I be burdened by the constant haram pictures in my head? Please help, and may Allah bless all you who helped or even read this. Alhamdulilah for everything and AstaghfirAllah for all things I had done and the thoughts that came into my head while writing this.

-Abasi Kubi

Editor's Note: This post is CLOSED. We NO LONGER answer questions about masturbation, the permissibility of specific sexual acts, and certain other subjects, because we have answered these questions many, many times. Anyone can search our archives and find dozens of posts on these topics.

See here for a list of closed topics: Closed Topics.

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