Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Advice for muslim teen??

Muslim girl in hijab on a magazine cover.

Asalaamu Alaikum everyone,

Inshallah everyone is enjoying this good spring weather:)
I just wanted to seek help from you helpful brothers and sisters out there:)
So first things first: I am a 13 year old muslim girl. I pray, fast, and wear hijab all-time. I try to refrain from haram things as much as possible. I read quran every night before bed. I even watch islamic lectures online during my freetime.
Yet, I am never fully happy being this way.
I feel as though I still have a weak iman at heart, and I have a constant fear of hellfire.
I keep having scary thoughts of going to Jahannam!
Sometimes I can't even sleep at night.

I have a feeling it's because I only changed this month, meaning it was this month that I started the whole quran every night, listening to islamic lectures, and refraining from the haram acts-thing.
The reason I changed was because one day it hit me: What are you doing??
When I asked myself that, I realized what a fool I was to be satisfied with myself the way I was. I felt like I had a weak faith, meaning it was easy for me to do bad things like cheating, stealing, missing salah, not making an attempt to strengthen my faith, etc. I would do horrible things like thinking too much about the opposite gender(now that I think about that I'm like ew what stupidity was I thinking??) and not take salah seriously. I remember being so unhappy and displeased all the time, never fully happy.
So that's when I started doing all these better, Islamic things, not only to improve my mood and self-esteem, but also to be a better muslimah.
Is there a way to get rid of this constant fear, dissatisfaction, and depression? Any advice for young muslimahs growing up in America?

My goal is Jannat Al-Firdaws Al-Alaa inshallah.

Jazakumullahu Khayran for anyone who answers,
Asalaamu Alaikum<3

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6 Responses »

  1. Dear sister,
    It is very good to know that you have started prayers and following the Islamic way of life seriously. There is no direct answer to your question. You said you turned 13yrs old just recently. To me it seems you just hit puberty. The moment you hit puberty the Angels sitting on your shoulders to write your deeds whether good or wrong actually start writing. They wait actually till puberty because of command from Allah. Since children are sinless. Having fear of Hell is somewhat of a good thing as it will give you motivation to stay on the right path. But if you want more motivation then look after your mother. Because Jannat lies at her feet and keep your father happy and proud because his disappointment is the disappointment of Allah.
    Sister if you continue on tge path of God then you will InsaAllah reach Heaven.
    I hope you have found my advice helpfull. May Allah always guide you. Aameen.

    • JAK brother your words and wisdom helped me a lot.
      May Allah guide you always, and bless you in this life and the next.
      Asalaamu Alaikum

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    MashaAllah, from what you've written it sounds like you're doing really well already. Wearing hijab, reading Quran, fasting, praying, trying to avoid haraam... If more of the Ummah were doing these at 13 years old, the world would be a much better place.

    It might be helpful for you to find out about Islamic courses or study groups in your area, which are for sisters (especially adolescents). Going to one of these would be a way to learn more about Islam, and to meet other sisters who share your interest in being better Muslims.

    You could also get involved with a Muslim youth group. For example, you could look into organisations such as MyDeen ( As well as helping you meet other likeminded sisters, these groups have lots of fun and interesting activities that you could get involved with, inshaAllah.

    Puberty can be a difficult time, with lots of temptations, so you're wise to be looking for ways to avoid exposing yourself to the worst of these. If possible, you could try to arrange to study at an all-girls school. Or, find activities to do at lunch and break times, so that you aren't tempted to spend that free time around boys, or engaging in unhealthy activities such as gossiping.

    Midnightmoon editor

    • AA-
      Jazakumullahu Khayran! Quick question: do bad deeds count before your period??

      • Assalaamualaikam

        We should always try to avoid doing bad deeds, and we should try to make amends for any times when we do something we shouldn't have done.

        The onset of menstruation doesn't always happen at the start of puberty - some girls may not start having periods until much later, and in some cases a girl may start having them much earlier than would be expected. A child before the start of puberty isn't held accountable for their transgressions, as they almost certainly weren't aware of the consequences.

        Once they reach puberty, they are in the process of becoming an adult, and as part of the process they are given the personal responsibility of an adult to choose what to do and be accountable for the choice. There may well still be times when a person transgresses through not knowing or not understanding some guidance, or when they do something without stopping to think it through first - in those cases, it is their responsibility to recognise this and make tawbah.

        Remember that Allah is Most Merciful. He has assured us that He loves to forgive us if we only turn to Him with sincerity. So, even if you have done something which you think might be a sin, repent for it, try your best to learn from it and not repeat it, and trust in Allah's Forgiveness.

        Midnightmoon editor

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