Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My father is not a religious man and I am afraid for my education

Man praying salat in a field

I am living with my father. My parents are separated, so i'm living only with my father since i was 9. now i'm still schooling.

Since my childhood time i've seen my mother got beaten by my father. I know my father loves me very much, he does love me. but for the first time i got slapped by him when i was 13, and he even said vulgar words to me. It was just because of small things and he began to be very abusive since then. It was not continuously, but, roughly every 3 months he would have a VERY bad temper.

So I couldn't stand his aggressiveness, so I moved to my mother's house but it only lasted about 2 weeks, when he called me up asked me to move back to him because he missed me. (I actually prefer to stay with him because I don't really feel comfortable staying with my mother)

As I grew up, I learned at school about the things that are compulsary to do in Islam. Firstly, we have to perform our salat 5 times a day, which is never done by my father.
I also observed that my father does not perform his salat every friday.

I am very sad to see him like this. I am just afraid what would be with my education because I am scared that because of his ignorance for not getting up for fajr prayer and does not complete his 5 times a day solat, I AM AFRAID that Allah would not give his rahmat or mercy for what i study at school.

i really want to have an excellent outcome for my academic.

(actually my father is really encouraging me to have flying colours for my result in exams, but not in other things like salat, or going to mosque, or something like that)

I behold on registering this website because i have no one to fink about this in person, except my bestfriend and my elder foster sister.

i just want to seek for better things to do and improve myself and become more mature on dealing with my father in this situation for the sake of my academic.

jazakallah

- ahavaa


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2 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I am not sure how old you are. I am a little bit concerned that you are more comfortable staying with your father, who has a history of being physically abusive (aside from having a low concern for religion). What is it about your mother that makes you disinclined to stay with her? Is she doing something in her lifestyle that would endanger you (like drugs or promiscuity etc)?

    Your father is his own person. You can't force someone to care about what's important, so since you're now old enough to know what you need to be doing with salat and other Islamic injunctions you need to go ahead and start implementing them into your life even if your father does not. Continue to read and study about the rights Allah has upon you, and your duties as a muslimah to Him. Insha'Allah, your devotion may spark something in your father to start having more diligence about his own spiritual life. But whether that happens or not, you still have to make this a priority for your own life, both the one in this world and the next. If you continue to depend on your father to lead you when he is either unwilling or unable, you will be shortchanged for it. So in this case it's better to be proactive and do for yourself what he is not doing for you by learning the deen and practicing it as best you are able.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Salam,

    This might be redundent answer, as i dont read the answers of other people to give my openion.

    It seems that you are a teenager. If you want to learn about islam , there are thousands of sites that give you info about saalat, you can learn as much about it on your own. Your Father is not stoping you from preforming prayers.

    Your father has a very bad temper, i would recoment that you visit your mother regularly, you want to have a backup plan, if you start feeling unconfertable at your dad's for some reason.

    Allah has made mothers with a very special mud. There hearts are always open.

    Khuda Hafiz

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