Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Afraid of falling for someone in my high school years

teenage teacher student

I'm a 15 year old girl and I am getting ready for high school. I live in America so clearly things are different here than how I'm raised at home. (Culture, religion) but I have a fear that I would fall in "love" with someone because I see my friends in relationships and I hate to admit but it influences me to want to be in one too.

I'm the kind of girl that avoids guys a lot and these past two years I haven't really had a crush but once at the start of 7th grade. It tore me apart, I lost so much sleep, it was horrible. (I'm glad I got over it though) but considering I was young maybe it was all just nonsense. I just feel like with high school there's going to be pressure on me with boys and I don't want that. I don't want to have to face crushes or falling for someone. Not only because of personally not wanting it but also with me being a Muslim. I'm not a perfect Muslim I'm far from it and I'm so afraid of falling for someone that most likely will take up my mind and I'll forget all about Islam.

All in all, I'm afraid for my future. I'm afraid of falling for someone. I'm scared that if I end up having a crush that my grades will drop (and grades are super important in high school) Is there ways I can prevent it?

Tagged as: , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. First of all sister, I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with finding a guy good looking. There is a difference between having a crush and thinking someone is handsome. Crushes develop when we let our minds wander towards that person consistently and end up creating a fantasy of that person which is far from their reality. Here is a technique that is still working for me in high school: when you notice a good looking guy, avert your eyes immediately. As hard as it is to control your nafs, one day we will be rewarded for it inshAllah. Next, it is easy to think up good things about people we only see in public since everyone presents themselves a certain way that may or may not be similar to who they actually are as a person. Just remember that everyone has a whole load of bad qualities and you just haven't discovered theirs yet. Know that those qualities might repulse you away faster than you think. What's more is that Allah has already written your qadr and more likely than not, He has written in your life a man you probably won't meet in high school. So why not wait and save your love for your rightful spouse? 🙂
    The fact that you are concerned about this shows that you have already won half the battle since half the war is creating the right mindset. Inshallah your struggles will be rightfully rewarded.

  2. May Allah help you. I am glad to see you thinking ahead of time. Honestly, I went through the same thing. I was anxious and people were saying things like you don't have to worry and that nothing will go wrong if you are a good muslimah. But it's all not like that. The FITNAH is there and once your in pressure, you're likely to commit a sin that you don't want to. Your likely to do more than you are able to do. It's just that people, especially elders, don't understand.

    However, in my case, I am now homeschooled and am currently enrolled in Compu High (an accredited high school for only eligible students). I love it and did not have to worry about the fitnah of high school.

    Right now, I am in my final year of high school. NO RELATIONSHIP, NO LOVE, NO ZINA, AND MOST OF ALL NO FEAR OF SINNING DUE TO PRESSURE. I am at home and go out with friends and family on weekends. I feel more of a connection with Allah since I've been homeschooled.

    If you would like more information on homeschooling, then you can contact me privately on email if interested. P.S. I am a muslimah living in the US too.

Leave a Response