Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Afraid to keep the baby


Now what...?

Salam everybody. I hope I can get a respond asap. I'm in a very difficult situation. I got married 3 months ago. Few days ago I found out that I was 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. The hard part is my husband is not earning money as he is doing his diploma. I on the other hand, am a cabin crew. Havent flew yet, still training. The first problem is this company has set rules that whoever gets pregnant or tender their resignation, they shall be sued for 15,000 as we have a contract. How can I pay that huge amount. The second problem is, I'm not from a wealthy family. We survive mostly on food. My father is depending on me to pursue this career to help him financially, especially his house, water and electricity bills. He got really frustrated when I told him about the baby. He almost felt regret for letting me get married. Eventhough at that time I knew my husband didnt have a job but I still got married to him because We love each other very much and I wanted to have a halal relationship. I am a big fan of mufti menk. So I always listen to his talk and seek knowledge from him. And he also said that its alright to nikah even if we have to start from zero as long as it's halal. We planned to get nikah and just proceed to our routine as in I'll be working and he'll be studying. I told my husband im willing to work for him first cause I want him to complete his studies. But this baby came very unexpectedly. I'm very hurt because now my father sees me as a burden because he has to give me money for food instead of my husband. And now he feels like it's going to be double the burden and when the baby comes because we have no money to support it. We dont even have near family members to help us. It's only just us now and I dont even want to depend on other people. I'm so lost. I want to save my baby but I also need this job. I dont have any other qualification to get a good job on ground. I only stopped till highschool. In my country they require high qualification to even get a 1,000 salary. Cabin crew was the only job that was ok with my qualification. I keep asking myself is it worth it to terminate my pregnancy for this job? This baby could be the best for me. But there will always be consequences if i keep the baby. I'm very afraid to make the decision. I have prayed, of course, we only need help from Allah swt. And only He can show us guidance. But I would really like to seek advice from u as well and I hope I can get it asap. Wsalam thank u very much

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6 Responses »

  1. Assalalekum

    My Dear, many congratulations.A child is gift , so treasure it. Every child comes with his or her own might be a blessing in disguise. Working as cabin is not an ideal job for a Muslim girl. Let them sue you I'm not sure where you live but you can't pay if you don't can come to some arrangements with the company. It's going to be ok..& you are still training you could just quit.

    Abortion is like killing your child & that also for financial reason!Let Allah take care of you and your family. I understand what you might be going through. Let your husband work part time you can still do something too. A lot of young men work and study's might be difficult but life is difficult. I'm sure once the baby is born your dad will be happy to help..
    InshaAllah it will work out. Have complete trust in Allah.may this child be a blessing for you family.

  2. As-salamu alaykum everyone. I have deleted two comments already from people who were harsh and unkind in their responses. It's possible to advise the sister without insulting her. If you cannot be polite and kind, then do not post here please.

    Wael Editor

  3. Asalamu Alikuim sister please don't kill this baby of any way don't even think about it. It's your baby don't worry about your family now you should be worrying about yours . Allah will provide for the baby , you and your family. Sister don't make a Huge sin Abortion is killing innocent young baby. quite now before later so that you don't do the 15,000 or wait till your stomach shows . If not send your email and Bank info we will try our best as Muslim community so that baby doesn't die and you don't get that sin. You are very selfless person thinking providing your Husband and Your family . Instead of Allah and the baby , it's not worth it , women get depressed and self Blamed for Miscarriage . And your killing your own baby . After Abortion you keep your job provide for them . Will you be Happy when they eat ? Is it worth? Will Allah give you another child after you kill this one? If All your answers are Yes then do it . If not don't

  4. sister aap ko preshan honay ki zaroorat baby at ga wo apna rizq apny sath lay k at ga....or rizq ka wada Allah pak n kia hi.....or agr wo aik darwaza bnd krta hai to us say phly wo doosra khol deta hai.....Hazrt aYusuf A.S bhi bnd darwazy ki trf bhagy thy..Allah pak nay aik aik kr k sab khol diy

  5. Sister ,

    Never ever think about abortion .
    Just imagine you are killing a baby playing ,walking around right in front of you and how horrible it appears .

    Life is a test and you have got test from Allah . If you loose the job Allah will provide another source of income for you .

    You just need to try and doors will get open .

    Really disappointment with your father's behavior .His behavior is totally Islamic .Both your father and husband should be the main earner and not you . Your husband needs to find a part time job and manages it .

    If you abort you will never ever live in peace for whole of life .The guilt after abortion will make you depressed .

  6. Dear Sister,
    Allah provides sustenance for every child that is born. The child will get what is written for him/her. Because of that child, you may get more.
    While your husband is completing his degree, tell him to get part time job. Sister, you should talk to the airline company and maybe they can make some concession. If they fire you, then you should look for another job.
    Allah does everything for a reason and it is always good for us. We are not able to understand always, everything. Your father should also get a 2nd job. He should not expect you to still help you with bills if he is able bodied.

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