Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Alcoholic and cheating husband

Assalamalaikom,

I have been married for over 10years now With kids Alhamdullilah.

My husband who loves his alcohol and loves trying out different girls all time, and lies all time to me until he gets caught and we get into arguement and then he admits yes his seeing other girls cos this is who he is and wont stop.

Over 10 years he has beaten me up ALOT, tried killing me few times, treats his kids bad, had 2 miscarriages recently cos of him, his never been their for me and kids through tough times we been through and his never been supportive, money wise,as father and husband.

Never spends time with us, his friends, and him going out sleeping around,clubbing,drinking is what he enjoys and is way important then his family (us).

His family on the other hand is worse, they encourage him more to go out and do all these things he does, obviously they are in-laws from hell and want to see me and my kids miserable 🙁

They always ask him for money to send back home to them, they dont want him to spend anything on us, otherwise they will get heart attack, if my husband does anythng nice for us, especially his EVIL mom. They all work and earn $700 USD per month and thats more then enough for them, cause they dont pay rent or mortgage, no electricity, no water, all that is free for them, just they buy food and clothing. They have better life then us.

My husband wen he meets girls, sleeps with them watever, he takes pictures with them and then shows them to me, to show me that all these girls are in love with him and are waiting for him (heart broken 🙁 yes tears)  and that he can get any girl he wants.

He calls me really bad names, even my kids and my family. He has no respect for anyone, he even calls his own parents bad names in front of me when his angry at them.

BTW I didnt want to marry this guy, but his mom back home did black magic on me so I would fall for him,marry him and bring him here, so that he could help by sending money and even try to get them out.

He bad names me to all the girls that he meets now, so they think im an evil wife and feel sorry for him and sleeps with him. before he use to lie and say he was single and when he would beat me up I use to go to my families place and stay few nights, then he would bring girls home and use our bed, sofa etc to sleep with them.

As much as I want to get out of this marriage, something stops me, it could be his moms black magic, I dont know, someone please give me halal advice, im living with fear, at times, and depression, it's been going on for way too long, I have given him too much chances for him to change, but he hasnt. I pray make lots of duua for him, but still no hope. I believe in faith, maybe thats y im still with him, but I believe if I dont get out of this marriage, I will end up on TV news, as one of those innocent wives in domestic violence r'ship DEAD 🙁

Please brothers/sisters help me with some kind advice's. Make duua for all ur sisters in this kind of situation or even worse...May Allah SWT help us all, and lead us to the right path to jannah...Ameen

P.s. At times when I cant have sex for any valid reason, then he pins me down, and by force he will have intercourse with me, even though im his wife, I see that as rape, cos I try to get away, but his stronger and I am left with no choice.

Yas123


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9 Responses »

  1. Which country do you live in?

    Are there no support groups local to you? Could you speak to your GP? Do you have any of your own family or friends you can turn to?

    If your from the UK there are very many support groups that can help you.

    Why don't you try and see a qualified Rakhi to see if Ruqya can help the black magic side of it?

    Keep praying to Allah SWT to help you through this tough time.

    Wish you all the best.

    From your sister

  2. Salaam sister.
    My heart cries reading this.
    Your story sounds so similar to mine. This is so close to home.
    After putting up with many things including domestic violence, emotional and mental torture; him controlling my finances, not working and living off me and cheating online etc etc. I had inklings that he was chatting up young girls online so after the last domestic violent incident I took him back due to many reasons but I informed the police of my concerns. they found indecent images and now I have finally decided to go for a divorce. In fact just literally completed the divorce petition.
    so my advise is do the same get him out of your life and your children's life.

  3. get rid of him and in the process of doing so look for support from family/imams/women's organizations.
    trust this is the best decision Allah has made for me in terms of my marriage.

    Allah make it easy for you

  4. put your trust in Allah. Cure comes from Allah. I suggest going to a raqy to perform a ruqya on you. Also,leave this man. You said he tried to kill you? The first step is the hardest step.You who can speak English,easily you can seek help. you were doing well before you met him and im sure you would do far better without him. Allah will replace him with someone far better. first step is the hardest. The only mistake you made was being with him for 10 years. You should have kicked him to the curb 9 years ago. If he gets violent please call the police. Dont suffer in silence.

  5. Divorce him but before that make sure that you are in safe place .Move to safer place n send a divorce notice to him but make sure you collect n store all proofs of his wrong doings .May Allah help you .

  6. Sad to hear that may Allah heal your pain and guide him and all human to the right way you should read manzil morning and in evenng and do dam on drinking water and let him drink if you can,t read whole manzil than read ayatal qursi 4 qul and last two ayat of surah baqrah and do dam on water and let him drink insha Allah it will work don,t lose hope while doing this kalam of Allah have power insha Allah it will work with faith on allah jazak allah khair do pray for me as well

  7. Please sister strong yourself and follow advices which brother and sister give you if you are educated do job and leave him for children and for their good future.Please make pray and tahajud at night and pray because ALLAH Accept pray at that moment .

  8. Assalaamualykum Yas123,

    I'm really sorry about what you are going through, and agree with abc. You want to pack essentials in one or two bags and get yourself and the kids to a safe place such as a friend or acquaintance's house if you have one, or to a domestic violence shelter. You can call the police to have them help with getting you there if needed. Then file for divorce from this safe location. Remember that Allah is with you, and that He is always with the oppressed. He will answer your duas at this sensitive time.

    Hugs,

    Nor

  9. Get a Divorce Yesterday!

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