is Allah angry with me or am I being guided?
Change your life
salam,
8 months ago I was in a relationship with an atheist girl for a year. Towards the end of the relationship I received a call from my father warning me of a calamity coming and telling me to seek refuge in Allah.
At first I didn't take it seriously, then I started having doubt about her but still loved her so I asked Allah to take her away if she was a calamity. A few days later I had a dream where I was shown all the sins and good deeds I have ever done. After that I was told to stop 3 major sins and those were the sins I was frequently doing with her.
One night while we were in my house, I told her about the dream and we slept in different rooms; though by then I had spent a week without sleep. The next morning while talking she told me that she had no problem with me practicing my religion, but I should not let my religion stop me from what I would become in the future. That night, as we were walking back to my house, I could not stop thinking about the dream and was scared to go and do one of the sins when I felt I was being pulled back. I had a nervous breakdown and broke up with her on the spot in public.
After being taken to the room and lying down on the bed, a ruqia was performed on me. I was repeating after them crying and laughing using different voices, and at a point her face appeared and I started shouting auzubillah. At the end I felt a presence coming out of me 3 times through my mouth. I fainted then regained consciousness.
The months that followed were the best- my iman was very strong and I started praying on time, was practicing my deen seriously. I was very happy and felt like a weight had been lifted. I could literally feel Allah's love, and everywhere I went people loved me- even on the street strangers would be smiling, or people that I haven't contacted in years contacted me. At times I would be walking and sub-consciously start reciting istighfar; things were going good for me. Three months later I met with her twice.
That is when things started to change. I committed the 3 major sins I was told to stop and kept doing them for a while though I wasn't with her at the time. Then I stopped praying. I was thinking about her day and night and how to get her back, I spent months with insomnia, lost tremendous weight, stopped taking my medications and taking care of myself and I could see the love people had for me fading- it's like now they are just tolerating me. A friend of mine even had a dream about me being in a grave screaming while she was pouring dust on me and crying. I even started consulting psychics, which I had never done in my life because I do not believe in them.
One day I had a change of heart and moved on. I felt the love I had for her was gone and I resumed practicing the deen. I was constantly listening to islamic lectures and started to feel happy again. Then one night before going to sleep my intuition told me that shaytaan might send her my way now that I had moved on and started being religious again. The next day I received a text from her, but I did not reply.
A few days later I had another strange dream where I was told that I had something bad in me and told to recite lailaha illalah muhammadur rasullulah 1641 times daily. A few days after that she sent me another text saying her grandfather died, but I was not sure whether to reply, so that night I dreamed again about having an affair with a girl and my deceased mother telling me not to contact the girl ever again. The next day I replied, and after she replied I immediately fell back into anxiety and thinking about her, but kept praying this time.
I have been asking Allah to remove her from my life if she is a calamity to me here and in the hereafter, though I reached a point that I do not want a relationship but be able to marry her in future. I noticed that each time we communicate I would end up doing 1 or 2 of the major sins. I have this feeling that she is bad and may take me to my doom if I continue, but every time I make up my mind to erase her I end up relapsing in thinking about her. Things have been going bad for me recently, my father is having serious financial issues and it appears like a calamity has fallen.
I have repented and stopped the major sins for a while. I have been happy and content and took it as a test from Allah, but I have been having problems in stopping cigarettes and shisha. I would smoke, repent, then smoke again. I even swore I would stop, but ended up smoking again -and feel bad again- so I have been asking Allah to help me stop. I was quiet, in peace and calm for a while until I noticed her best friend and flatmate removing me from Facebook.
As for her, I do not have her as a friend but we would still communicate, which gives me the feeling that it is a sign that she might be gone out of my life now forever; but have the fear and intuition that it might be due to a major sin I kept doing, though the probability of them finding out is very low so I can't stop dwelling about "why did she do that; what have they been saying".
After listening to a lecture I heard about shaytaan and how he would come to us through humans and people that we know, I felt relieved because honestly all I need to do is to exchange texts with her for me to commit one of the major sins. I know she is bad for me.
Another sign was my brother telling me he doesn't like her, which is not his character to judge and not like people. He is pious and of very good character; everybody loves him and not even one person had ever said a bad thing about him, not to mention that she and he are acquaintances. So I feel relieved, and do a lot of zikr and tawba and I am taking the deen seriously, but every time I wake up from sleep I start to feel sorrow and sadness and reminisce on the past. Then I start to do zikr and listen to more islamic lectures and I feel better.
I know that Allah is the most merciful, but I am afraid that He is angry at me after all the signs I have been shown, and going back into a wrong path after taken the right one, and for a while constantly sinning and repenting. For quite a period of time I was thinking more about her than I was about Allah which is a disgrace as a muslim.
I am happy to have returned to the right path, but sometimes I have this pain and sorrow which make me believe that Allah is angry at me, unlike the peace and happiness I felt when I broke up with her 8 months ago.
-leonai
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Salaams,
I feel you are making a very simple issue overly- complicated. The bottom line is, this girl is an ATHEIST. She has no belief in God whatsoever. You should never have had anything to do with her, and you don't have any reason to be dealing with her now. The best thing you can do (concerning her) is to cut her out of your life completely. You don't need signs and dreams to tell you that, it's basic Islam. We don't deal with unbelievers as far as having friendships, acquantanceships etc.
As far as your sins go, I don't know if your committing them has anything to do with her or not; but really it's besides the point. If you're struggling with committing sins, you have to keep focusing on repenting and correcting yourself. We don't need to know why we sin to know what we should be doing instead. Take each day as it comes and try to discipline yourself to get through that day only. Each day takes care of itself.
Also, if you are supposed to be taking any type of medications, please make sure you are not skipping doses. Not staying on a needed medication regime can affect our bodies and souls in different ways as well, so make sure you're taking care of yourself as you need to.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salams brother,
Read the short Surah Al-Mumtahina and you will see that being friends with an athiest is not good because its the opposite of Islam. You talked about wanting to marry her, but think of the stress it would cause when you want to practice Islam and let Allah guide your life but she doesnt want to even believe in Allah swt. Its too complicated, as Amy said. Just choose happiness.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
"At first I didn't take it seriously, then I started having doubt about her but still loved her so I asked Allah to take her away if she was a calamity. A few days later I had a dream where I was shown all the sins and good deeds I have ever done. After that I was told to stop 3 major sins and those were the sins I was frequently doing with her."
Other people go to Jahannam with far less proof against them. Consider this a severe warning.
"I am happy to have returned to the right path, but sometimes I have this pain and sorrow which make me believe that Allah is angry at me, unlike the peace and happiness I felt when I broke up with her 8 months ago."
I had a close Christian friend who I had to leave years ago and that was pretty difficult. Today I prayed for his guidance. But we aren't supposed to be this close to disbelievers. These are people who are committing something so heinous that if they were to die upon that, they will be imprisoned in the fire forever. Consider yourself lucky you are away from her and give thanks to Allah.
Also, sadaqah given in secret extinguishes Allah's anger.
Hi Brother leonai.. assalaam, I would advise you to try to convince your girlfriend for a marriage.. and you are allow to make nika even with a non muslim.. then later on with love you can teach her about god and islam.. everything need patient in life and insha allah you will have a fruitful live.
Brother i have an important question to ask you, hope you can help me about, i have some problem where its like there is a mask on my face and everything.. and many more trouble... i tried rukyaa but it never worked. Can you please share the contact person who did rukya on you to me? the rukya u did sound every effective.. let me know the person .. and may insha allah i get a peaceful life too...
Uzzy
Salaams,
I'm sorry, but your statement about Muslim men being able to marry non Muslim women is not entirely correct. Muslim men may marry Christian and Jewish women (ahl al kitab), but they may NOT marry polytheists (like Hindu) or non believers (atheists, agnostics, Buddhists). Since this woman is an atheist, she would be haraam for him and their marriage would be invalid.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamalaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
A little nuance actually:
Jews and Christians are actually both from among the Mushrikeen. However Allah regularly separates them "alladheena kafaro min ahlilkitaab wal mushrikeen"(those who disbelieved from the people of the book and the (rest of) the mushrikeen.)
The ayah prohibiting Muslims from marrying mushriks(male or female) was later followed by an exception to that rule(for Muslim men, Jews and Christians are the exception) as Ibn Abbas RA nicely explained it.
It may seem trivial but it is immensely important to understand this. The proper way to say this is that all mushrikeen are forbidden to Muslims with an exception of Jewish and Christian woman for Muslim men. There are conditions attached to that as well.
JazzakAllahu khair
Assalamu'alaikum,
Allah make rules, because he knows everything better than us.
In fact, it is really not easy to marry an atheist.
Even though she convert to Islam, but when the iman is not there, it can be very hard even she might be become an obstacle for you in practicing Islam rules, and an obstacle for you to teach your children about Islam.
So, convert to Islam to married is different with convert to Islam because Iman (read: it's not a good idea).
When Allah anggry to you, you might have him forgotten (He might not allowed you to remember him).
If you speak arabic, maybe this video will be good for you.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10201523110659435
He ia NOT allowed to marry an atheist. Why are you telling him that? He can marry a Christian and a Jewish woman not an atheist. Aouthubillah
As salamu alaykum,
Just stay away from this woman. Delete her number and ignore her.
Assalaamu alaikum,
Atheists will never be forgiven and are fuel for the hellfire. She is basically a devil in human form.
Do not consult psychics as they are also the puppets of the shaytaan and this is shirk to consult soothsayers.
Change your number, delete her number and you and your pious brother should have nothing to do with her for any reason.
Stop obsessing with matters. I may be being presumptuous but it may be that you have dabbled in drugs, hence what you have described as well as prescribed medicines. I think you should research what you are taking.
We cannot question or assume of Allah in your case dwelling on whether He is angry at you. We have to accept that as a possibility but to always seek His forgiveness and that we were only created to worship Him. Why not look at how many times you have been pulled back. For Allah does bestow a great favour upon you in doing so as you could so easily be amongst the living dead as this witch is.
Lastly refrain from facebook. I saw a picture on here recently to a question which amusingly said Facebook- wasting lives since 2004. The whole thing is just part of the big brother one-eyed dajaal system, analysing what you say, like and do.
Rashida, to call the woman a devil in human form is uncalled for. Your mission as a Muslim (and mine) is to set an example for non-Muslims and try to guide them to the truth. How can you do that if you look upon them as devils? You are not Muslim because you are such a superior human being. You are Muslim because Allah in His mercy gave you the gift of Islam. You did not earn it. It was Allah's grace upon you, and it is a test for you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu alaikum,
Yes sorry, that was too strong, for who I am to even know? I suppose I got carried away based on the narrative presented in the question. However, the shaytaan does appear in human form to lead people astray and from what we have been told by the OP, this woman is destructive for him. Of course we must all take responsibility for our own actions.
Nevertheless,
If anyone withdraws himself from remembrance of ((Allah)) Most Gracious, We appoint for him an evil one, to be an intimate companion to him. Sura Az-Zukhruf (36)
Well an atheist disbelieves in Allah and so would not exactly care to remember Allah now would they?
I am aware that I have been blessed to have been given guidance in being a Muslim and do not think of myself as superior. Although I find atheists repugnant in that they are so vehemently against believing in Allah without even applying any logic simply because it is somewhat fashionable nowadays to be a kafir.
Rashida,
Why do you find atheists repungant?
How do you know what anyone has been through? How do you know anyone's experiences and upbringing that could have lead them to their disbelief? How do you know if these people have ever had islam correctly presented to them or not?
If you were not Muslim, how would you feel knowing that others find you repungant? Everyone is on a life journey including us and as we have been blessed with Islam, we need to be bringing others to it...beautifully and through example.
Finding people repungant is not the way forward. Open your heart to others and their situations. Everyone is different....
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com
AOA, (you shouldn't fail to offer salaam just cos you don't like ehat has been said)
Oh for Allah's sake! Why are you all such nitpickers. You need to read the whole sentence not just 'Atheists are re-pug-nant (sic)'.
Take time to read throughout the Qur'an for Allah's sayings on atheists. Here is just one;
Surah Fatir
Verily Allah knows (all) the hidden things of the heavens and the earth: verily He has full knowledge of all that is in (men's) hearts. (38) He it is that has made you inheritors in the earth: if, then, any do reject (Allah) their rejection (works) against themselves: their rejection but adds to the odium for the Unbelievers in the sight of their Lord: their rejection but adds to (their own) undoing. (39)
dictionary.reference.com/browse/odium
noun 1. intense hatred or dislike, especially toward a person or thing regarded as contemptible, despicable, or repugnant.
A celebrity kafir in the UK is the evil-doer richard dawkins who deserves no cap initials. He is an 'evolutionary biologist' in other words a professor of lies who ardently campaigns for disbelief. One programme showed him attempting to challenge a teen Muslim girl on her beliefs and masha'Allah she wiped the floor with him.
There are people who have had great turmoil in their lives, born in ignorance and suffered in ways that most of us could never imagine. However, they intuitively know of a 'Higher Power, a Supreme Being'. Ie belief in Allah, though it may not be correct in the way Allah has prescribed for us.
Then there are people who consumed by their own ego, drowning in their own self-pity or narcissism refuse to acknowledge that the wonder of creation could not logically happen by accident.
Rashida,
Seriously...?
There you go making false assumptions - again. What makes you think I did not offer 'Salaams' to you because I 'didnt like what you said'?
And...whats with all the name calling, sarcasm and always thinking worst in everyone?
You've called people 'creepy and old', 'repungant'and now you call me a 'nitpicker'. And you like to bang on about 'kufaar this, kufaar that'. I have not read all your comments, but I have been told by trusted colleagues that there is more.
If you want to continue offering advice on this site, drop the 'judgements', 'assumptions' and 'name calling'.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
AOA sister z,
Since you start your replies with my name only, there is no salaam. Therefore not a' false assumption'.
Why are you so overly defensive and dramatic- ooh more name-calling or just describing things how they ACTUALLY are?
What is your actual purpose and what are you trying to promote, if not proper Islamic thinking?
You are a nitpicker cos you can't be bothered to read ALL what I have said, then just wade in an hook onto a word you don't like, picking holes. If you are not reading all the comments then you are not really doing a very good job of being an editor are you?
And I like to bang on about 'kufaar this and kufaar that'? What sort of mockery is this? Understand what you are saying. Clearly you're upset because of my opinion on the girl who wants to marry an old man, as you also want to do the same. That's so childish and unprofessional.
You clearly do not respect what Allah has said with regard to the disbelievers as the passage you couldn't arrogantly be bothered to read is from the Qur'an where Allah has described the atheist as repugnant. As an editor, get acquainted with spellchecker or at least copy the word correctly.
Yes go ahead and delete or refuse to publish this? No problemo! Your role as 'editor???' has clearly inflated your head and so you will censor what you like whilst printing your own diatribe.
Assalaamualaikam
Rashida, this website is a resource for Muslims of all backgrounds and with many different life experiences and viewpoints. However, there are some rules which we expect contributors to adhere to, just as my fellow editors and I try to do. We do not find that rudeness or confrontational behaviour helps promote constructive discussion. There is a difference between healthy debate and criticising people excessively.
I would suggest that you familiarise yourself with the contents of our "How to give advice" section. It may be a cliche but the saying "it's not what you say, it's how you say it" seems relevant here.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Wa-alaikum assalam,
Thank you, you are very polite and I respect your response.
It is also rude to comment on someone's saying but not even taking the time to read what has been said to at least gain an understanding of the authors viewpoint.
I will insist that ardent atheists are repugnant.
I'll now go and read your how to....
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Relaaaxxxxxxx......I am also on mod status but I have a feeling that maybe Wael's gonna keep me on it for a whiiiiiiiiile.
This is what happens when the Shayateen are unchained brothers and sisters. It's why you need to recite the last two Surahs regularly.
Rashida, as-salamu alayhkum. You are now on mod status. The people who post here have made mistakes. They are often in desperate situations, and already feeling guilty and confused. They don't need someone to condemn and criticize them. Rather, they need solutions. They need someone to point the way forward to them and to do so with kindness and compassion.
You have a lot of anger. Sometimes our own personal situations can affect our behavior toward others without us realizing it. I would suggest to you to look inwards for the answer to that, and then look to Allah the Most Merciful for the solution.
With regards to your interactions with others, I remind you of Allah's saying to the Messenger of Allah (sws):
"And by the mercy of Allah you dealt with them gently. If you were harsh and hard hearted, they would have fled from around you" (Quran 3:159).
You are welcome to continue participating here, but your comments will be moderated for the time being.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sad to see zawaj.com go down the same path of censorship as the rest of the internet. This used to be a good site before it got blinded by the smoke of liberalism.
Maria, I don't know or remember which of your comments got censored, so I cannot commen. As for the liberalism thing, lol. Such labels as conservative and liberal belong to non-Muslim political thinking and do not really apply to Muslims. A Muslim is either following the Quran and the path of Rasulullah (sws), or not.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor