Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Allah never punishes those who break the hearts of girls

pain healing

sorry for poor english. i am a muslim girl from pakistan and i am very much worried these days, i cry every night. i want to ask why Allah never punish those who break the hearts of girls. i love a religious man but what he did inturn he broke my heart, call me a mental case and left me. he perform hajj and umra every another year. why Allah give such people a chance to perform hajj, they do sins and them they go to perform hajj is the reason why Allah never punish him

and plz dont tell me its haram and that i have now learned the lesson, it is haram for him as well! my intention was to marry but he simply want to insult me infront of his family and friends and left me calling me sinner, i never had physical relation with anyone but he thinks i am a bad person. Allah dont punish him and her friend who asked him to leave me cause i insulted her, he is so unfair 🙁 he said i will take your life if you ever speak infront of my friends or family and i was like a dead person to him. he also said i am from a bad family and she is from a good family :'(

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23 Responses »

  1. Assalamu Alaikum
    hello sister.
    I am very sorry to hear of you troubles. Many of us have had this question. Buy my mother. Who is very wise told me once. "If you learned at least one lesson, then it was the will of Allah(swt)"
    She said this to me and now, my whole life I have looked at the world in a much better way. Now you know more and can grow. The boy's life is not yours and you never know what may be waiting for him. Just as Allah test all of us. Perhaps he is giving this boy a chance to learn and stop doing harm. But only Allah knows when his test is over. Think not of this boy. Allah knows what is in every heart. Stay with Allah. Keep your faith strong. This boy may have decades of learning to do. But you are not his teacher. Allah is the teacher. Study your lessons.

    P.S. My father is a mean and violent person. He beat my mother and almost killed her. He hurt many people. And beat me and my sisters. I asked my mother why is he healthy? Why does he have so much money? Why does he have a new wife? Doesn't Allah see what he does. . . The year my father became 66 he lost eye sight in his left eye, his wife ran away and took most of his money and now he has cancer. You never know what Allah has waiting for someone.

    peace be with you sister, remember that nothing lasts forever except Allah.

  2. Salaam sister , i hope youre okay. There's a lot wrong with what you say and it's worrying. Yes he sinned, yes you sinned but he's not your concern anymore. What Allah does and doesn't do subhanAllah Allah doesn't have to explain Himself to you! How do you know if even his Hajj is being accepted? You don't know what each soul has in store ! Look at so many kuffar in the world they live lives of joy today only because Allah is saving their punishment for the worst punishment of hellfire! May Allah save us. Be careful what you say sister. Allah ended this relationship and it sounds like it was a good thing if he could say things like that to you. Make peace with what happened you should pray to Allah to give you peace and thank Him for saving you from someone who could be so rude and busy yourself in islamic studies and becoming a better muslim, youre more concerned about him and his girl then yourself. Make dua and move on and ask for a better replacement a man who will lead you to jannah.

  3. Salaam,

    God doesn't guide those who are mislead, and in the wrong path. The punishment doesn't have to be in this life. God tests people in many ways. But if they do bad things, it counts as a sin. God's judgement is far better than everyone. He will be accountable for all his sins. Meanwhile, he's enjoying himself and not even on the true path. God tests all people, with wealth, poverty, etc. So punishment doesn't happen on this world. It happens in the Hereafter.

    Here is an article on God's mercy: (

    "If You punish them, they are Your subjects and if You forgive them, You are the Aziz (Dignified), the Hakeem (Wise)." 5:118

    Who was Jesus speaking about when he said “If you punish them"?
    He can only be referring to those who deserved a punishment, and if we read 5:116 we understand that the ones spoken of in 5:118 are the ones who set up Jesus and his mother as gods besides God, and who were the subject of God’s question to Jesus in 5:116.
    Now why did Jesus say:

    "If You forgive them, You are the Dignified, the Wise."?

    The normal words to address God with when seeking God’s forgiveness would have been:
    "If You forgive them, You are the Ghafoor (Forgiver), the Raheem (Merciful)."
    So why did Jesus say: "the Dignified, the Wise" instead?

    1- First reason is because Jesus does not know what God will do, for as Jesus says in 5:116: "You know my thoughts, and I do not know Your thoughts."

    Nor does Jesus know the future, again Jesus says in 5:116:

    "You are the One who knows the ‘ghuyoob’ (the future and all that is hidden)."

    2- The second reason why Jesus used those specific words actually shows great wisdom on the part of Jesus. Jesus does not know if God will forgive them or not, thus if Jesus used the words: “If You forgive them, You are the Forgiver, the Merciful”, this would imply that if God did not forgive them, then God is not Forgiver nor Merciful!
    In contrast, the use of the words: “If You forgive them, You are the Dignified, the Wise” would not imply that in the case of God not forgiving them that He would not be Dignified or Wise, this is because any decision taken by God (to forgive or not forgive) is a dignified decision and one that is taken with great wisdom.
    The true significance of this choice of words by Jesus will be seen when we review other glorious Quranic words which will follow.

    Let us now look at the following verse:

    "God will surely reward the truthful for their truthfulness, and will either punish the hypocrites in accordance to His will, or ‘yatoob alayhim’ (pardon them). God is Forgiver, Merciful." 33:24

    1- To fully understand the significance of the above words, we must first be reminded that nothing in the Quran is coincidental. Every word in the Quran is placed to signify a deliberate meaning.

    2- In 33:24 God speaks about two groups of people, the truthful and also the hypocrites.

    3- For the truthful, we read of only one outcome, they shall be rewarded. As for the hypocrites, God speaks of two options: they will either be punished or they will be pardoned, all in accordance to God’s will.

    4- A key word used in this verse is "yatoob" which means to pardon, it is different from the word "yaghfir" which is also used in the Quran, but which means to forgive.
    Someone who is forgiven would not incur any punishment, or in other words his sins are wiped out as if he never sinned. But someone who is pardoned means, he was punished for a while, then pardoned.
    The example of that is of someone who goes to jail for a number of years then is pardoned by the King. This is different from someone who is forgiven and thus would never go to jail.
    The first inquiry is that if the hypocrites are destined to only one possible fate (eternal doom in hell), then why does God speak of two possible options in 33:24?

    5- Of more significance are the words which follow in 33:24: "God is Forgiver, Merciful".
    Why does God, after giving the two options, end this verse with these words?
    In 5:118 (above) we have read how Jesus did not use the words (Forgiver, Merciful) because he was not sure what God would do.
    In contrast, God knows for certain what He will do, and God chose to use the words: "God is Forgiver, Merciful".
    God used these words in full knowledge that if He would not pardon them then there would be a question as to whether He is truly Forgiver, Merciful. But with all authority God declares Himself to be "Forgiver, Merciful".
    Is God telling us that He will choose the second option, and that even the hypocrites will eventually be pardoned after they have initially received some kind of punishment?

    6- We must also note the significance of the deliberate use of the word "hypocrites" in 33:24 rather than the word “disbelievers”. We are told in the Quran that the hypocrites are the worst of all disbelievers. The reason is because they are both disbelievers and also liars. As a result, they will be destined to the worst of all punishments:

    "The hypocrites will be committed to the lowest pit of Hell, and you will find no one to help them." 4:145

    As a result, it can be said that if the worst of all disbelievers (the hypocrites) may be pardoned at some stage, then ipso facto all other sinners may also be pardoned.

    We have further evidence, along the same lines of 33:24, to confirm that the disbelievers may be pardoned after being punished for a while:

    "Then God sent down contentment upon His messenger and upon the believers. And He sent down invisible soldiers; He thus punished those who disbelieved. This is the requital for the disbelievers.
    Then God pardons whomever He wills. God is Forgiver, Merciful." 9:26-27

    Once again we read in 9:26 about the punishment which awaits the disbelievers,
    but once again this is immediately followed with the words:

    "Then God pardons whomever He wills."

    This is then followed with the same names of God which we see at the end of 33:24 and they are:

    "God is Forgiver, Merciful."

    The following glorious words have further amazing clues:

    "The day it comes to pass, no one will speak except in accordance with His will. Some will be miserable, and some will be happy.”
    As for the miserable ones, they will be in Hell, wherein they sigh and wail.
    Eternally they abide therein, for as long as the heavens and the earth endure, except for what your Lord wills. Your Lord is doer of whatever He wills." 11:105-107

    In 11:105 God speaks of the Hereafter and about two groups, those who will be miserable (due to their idolatry 11:101) and those who will be happy (the believers):
    In 11:107 we are told of the miserable ones in hell. We read that "eternally they abide therein". This is followed with the words: "as long as the heavens and the earth endure", but this is then followed with the words: "except for what your Lord wills". The inclusion of these words gives the understanding that if God should will, they will not eternally abide in Hell. Then to confirm this right which God reserves for Himself, God ends the verse with the words: "Your Lord is doer of whatever He wills" which again confirms that the disbelievers may not necessarily abide in hell forever, if God decrees otherwise.
    Initially, this may not seem significant enough, but it will be when we read the following:

    "As for the fortunate ones, they will be in Paradise. Eternally they abide therein, for as long as the heavens and the earth endure, except for what your Lord wills, an everlasting reward." 11:108

    In the above words, which describe the fate of the believers, we read the same sequence. They will be in Paradise, and once again "eternally they abide therein", then again "as long as the heavens and the earth endure", then once again "except for what your Lord wills". But then we read the glorious words "an everlasting reward"! These glorious words confirm that "what your Lord wills" deems that their fate in Paradise will indeed be eternal.
    The difference in the ending of 11:107, which speaks of the fate of the disbelievers, as opposed to the ending of 11:108, which speaks of the fate of the believers is truly remarkable and it is not coincidental.

    It then remains to explain why did God say in a number of verses that the disbelievers will remain in hell forever, when in fact God may eventually pardon them all? The following is such an example of such verses:

    "Those who disbelieved, neither their money nor their children can avail them against God. They are the companions of Hellfire, wherein they abide forever." 3:116.

    The same is said about the hypocrites in 9:68.
    In addition, in 2:165 we read about those who set rivals to God, and in 2:167 we also read that they will never exit Hell.
    In view of all the above, we are left with what seems like a contradiction! On one hand we read that the wicked will never exit Hell, yet on the other hand, the verses previewed above seem to indicate that God will (at some stage) pardon them all!
    To analyse this issue, it would be justified to accept 3:116, 9:68 and 2:167 to represent the general rule. It follows that if God pardons any disbelievers or any hypocrite then, by definition, God would have broken His Own rule in 3:116, 9:68 and 2:167.
    This is where we get a glimpse of God’s infinite mercy by reading the following glorious words:

    "Your Lord has decreed mercy upon Himself." 6:54

    It is easy to gloss over these words without paying attention to their true significance! These words carry a great weight and their implications are truly profound. First, we note that nowhere else in the Quran does God make such an enforced commitment on Himself. God does not say in 6:54 that His mercy is great or that He is the Most Merciful, but that He decreed mercy upon Himself! What this actually tells us is that God has imposed a mandatory law upon Himself. The outcome of this self-imposed law means that, at a time deemed right by God, His Mercy will prevail over all other considerations, and over all other rules which would have been set by God Himself in the first place.
    In this case, the breaking of a rule set by God would not be a sign of weakness nor a sign of indecision; it would be a sign of godly supremacy and divine compassion.
    God does not expect us humans to understand this awesome mercy, for the nature of the human being is full of bitterness and eagerness for revenge, thus God tells us:

    "Say, "If you possessed my Lord's treasures of mercy, you would have withheld them, fearing over spending. The human being is stingy." 17:100

    You never know, what if he changes? With all the time he has, he may change and become a true believer, God willing. You have to take these things into consideration, not just wish revenge because you feel hurt. (I know how a heartbreak can feel, don't think I don't) Pray to God to guide you to the right path.

  4. Salaam sister Just to say move on and try and forget about this person If a person treats you like rubbish they are not worth wasting time over In its place remember Allah do good and concentrate on yourself In time Allah will support and guide you InshAllah Remember no one has the right to say you are good or bad Abd you ate worth more then this person who is calling you rubbish and had performed hajj and umrah take care Allah nshie

  5. Opposite genders can never be friends. Even people of same gender prove to be bad friends in this day and age. There is no such thing as friends in this world in my opinion. You only have your family, or some hobby to spend time with. Be realistic and stop depending on other people...

  6. OP: i love a religious man but what he did in turn he broke my heart, call me a mental case and left me. he perform hajj and umra

    Your story shows one can be very religious and still be a bad person.

  7. His true colors were exposed. Be thankful that Allah saved you. You may not realize it now but you will sooner or later. With time you will heal. Like you I used to like a guy for marriage and I was blind because I thought to myself if someone who is showing religiousness, praying, and talking Islamic stuff cannot possibly be deceiving and be a jerk to a girl. Character is very important! People bad character never changes, it's their nature unless they go through big transformation, unfortunately many people that go to hajj/umrah don't change and still do bad things.

  8. the story you are telling is nothing, i had a friend for 5 years and guess what he said during the fight your parents sell you and your sisters to feed themselves lol moreover he called me a prostitute and asked what is your rate these days the scenario is same he lives in Saudia and perform hajj every year , is proud of it. there is only one solution, donot sit down like this feeling hurt, fight back and even worse, these people deserve insult and humiliation and nothing else

    never ever accept him in your life NEVER

    • lorelei lee: i had a friend for 5 years and guess what he said during the fight your parents sell you and your sisters to feed themselves lol moreover he called me a prostitute and asked what is your rate these days the scenario is same he lives in Saudis and perform hajj every year.

      Just curious how was his behavior during the whole 5 years...... Was he better than other people you met (online/offline) in any way?

      • offline people are very much better, i never had such kind of fight anyone. he was online and his behavior was really good. actually he was copying tahir ul qadri and was forcing me to join that party when i said no he started abusing me i was shocked to see his behavior he is very religious. i dont want to see his face ever in my life lol
        the funniest part is that when he said you like imran khan you want to marry him and thats why you go to the jalsa for poondi purpose

  9. Salam .Sister you have a good heart.In noway a true upright muslim will ever say anything negative.Allah controls everything and nothing escapes his knowledge.Allah has a master plan.On the day of judgement Allah will be the judge and there is no escape.So be patient master your deen and find a person who is in tabligh and is educated.Remember love grows in marriage.

  10. Assalamualaikum sister , religious man what do you mean by this, all people who do ummra or haj will not be religious , many people who has not performed hajj and umra are far more better than them , you are talking about humans intentions thts nothing to do with pilgrimages, Allah knows our future he knows what is best so relax and ask allah for sins committed and promise yourself to protect your modesty and keep yourself open only for halal relation that is only for your husband and do not be easy to these strangers (ghair mehram) and LOVE is pure the relations which breaks sharia law can never be love it is lust ............this person dared to speak wrong about you was because you were easy going and so our islam has prohibitted us to have any communication or relation with ghair mehram as this can never fetch respect .


  11. Dear ..I know How you feel.I was married to a mán My parents selected and i obeyed.he started insulting me soon after marriage.for no reason he Would yell at me insult me infront of his family.he started falsely accusing me of bad character.and strange enough I loved him..not for what he was but for the fact that he was the first man in my life.I got pregnant three months later and he sent me to my parents where I delivered a beautiful baby boy.he didn't care and after a few months he Divorced me on sms.I'm still devastated and heartbroken.I don't undertake why this happened and why me.I still love him and still think why he did this to me.he is happy .enjoying life .maybe has remarried.why isn't there suffering for him.but dear there's nothing we can do except sabar.

  12. Capri25: My parents selected and i obeyed.he started insulting me soon after marriage.for no reason he Would yell at me insult me in front of his family.he started falsely accusing me of bad character.and strange enough I loved him..not for what he was but for the fact that he was the first man in my life.

    There has to be some thing. Were you guys arguing a lot? Did you chat with guys on Internet/cell phone?
    Is you husband mentally ill? Was he in another relationship?

    • she said for no reason may be her husband was Pakistani

    • No I haven't chatted with a na mehram ever.he was the first man in my life and the last too because I still love him.but I cant find peace.he has not returned my dowry and jewellery and not given me my haq mehr.sometimes I think maybe he was greedy.we chatted on phone after Nikah for a year and he was really nice and loving.

      • miss capri : you are not fully aware of your right, you are just ignoring it, you must go to the lawyer. your ex husband must return the dowry, jewllery and haq meher too

        he is greedy and shameless thats why he is keeping the jewellery

        • I know i should but im so heartbroken i have given up.i dont Want to torment My Already tormented parents.u know How Courts are in Pakistan.My parents triéd to talk to him about returning thé dowry but He has ignored.i felt like used up by him for three months and then thrown in thé trash with a Baby along.Allah knows My Heart and My love for that man.And How he falsely accuséd me of bad character.He is not évén scared of Allah.

  13. Salam,
    Just pay a great thankyou to Allah swt that he has saved you from such man. Imagine if you would have married him then what would have been your future. Take this as a lesson and avoid contacting with such people who have no regard for others. If he has called you a prostitute then he just wanted haram physical relations with you and NOTHING ELSE. cause such man who call women with such bad slogans , they only have lust.

    Sometimes when Allah intends good with someone he test them with certain afflictions.
    And you doesnt need to worry that will Allah punish him or not, rememebr he's all seeing, he's been watching us all the time. I believe that if you ever hurt a innocent kafir person then karma waits for you. There's no distinction in Allah's court.
    leave that man to his own and improve your life.
    he was an abusive person and Dont waste your life over a abusive person.

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